Friday, June 17, 2011

Back after a frame snapback

Thursday night, I went out for the first time since Saturday night. That was the biggest layoff I had since I started sarging again and made this new blog. I had what I've heard TD called a "frame snap back." Fattie asked me what that meant. I told him that it's when you get progress in your life and then your mind can't handle the new reality. Your mind tries to sabotage itself so that you can go back into that old, shitty reality that you lived with for your whole life. It's part of that same mechanism that caused me to lose confidence at the end of Saturday.

Fortunately, I forced myself to go out tonight. I was gonna meet my Polish friends at "Stereo" night club. It's in the spot where Jedynka used to be and the grand opening was Thursday night. I wish I had gotten there early as there were a ton of hot Polish girls in line. I got there so late that the line was really long so I text my friend and told her that I'd meet up some other time. I ended up going to Lincoln Park.

Herschey and Vinny met up with me in Lincoln Park. Herschey left after like 45 minutes. I don't know why I was even surprised. I tried to give him some more hard love when he left. It's okay to have to leave early like that sometime, but it's obvious he's just hurting himself and holding himself back by doing it every time.

I can see how momentum works. It's so much easier to start a night when you've been going out day after day in a row. Tonight, I choded out for a little bit and drank beers at Kelsey's instead of starting out right away opening sets at Lion Head. I ended up getting too drunk for awhile. Vinny disappeared with some girl he met and I had bought him a drink. I didn't want to drink anymore and I was stuck with his drink and didn't want to waste it. I tried to give it to some random guy and I wanted to show that the beer was fine, so I tried to pour some in my mouth. I ended up spilling a bunch on my face and that was an eye opener of how drunk I was at the time.

Drunken Sarging:
The thing I noticed that I do differently when I'm drunk is that I'll open way more aggressively on the dance floor. It's aggressive compared to my normal style, but I still don't go up and just start grinding girls. Other than that, I do a lot of the same stuff. I think I prefer to be sober now that I've been mixing up drunk and sober nights. My game is a lot sharper when sober.

I ran into those dudes from Joe's and that girl tonight. I had ran into the dudes last week when I was out with Seagull. The girl saw me opening sets on the sidewalk at the end of the night. I remember saying that I'm quieter when I'm drunk which, strangely, I was for a bit on the sidewalk.

I remember opening some chubby girl that I had seen in front of the Apartment. I had approached her several times as I never had a chance to really work here. I think she had gotten interested when I finally started talking to her in front of O'Malley's. I screwed it up. Her friend was drunk and sat on the sidewalk. I pointed out that they could sit by the O'Malley's window since it had a ledge. The chubby girl walked the friend over there and instead of following, I opened this girl who was walking by. I could see the chubby girl watching me open girls. With hot girls, the jealously plot lines create attraction, but I could tell I fucked this up by doing this. I tried opening in her later and it was obvious things had changed. She even said something like, "I see you talk to all the girls."

Sarging cures all:
I was feeling shitty during my frame snapback. My mind was trying really hard to sabotage myself. I kept overeating Monday-Wednesday. I mean massively binging which is screwed up. Of course, that just made me feel tired and more shitty. After going out tonight, I feel better and I've broken out of that frame snap back. Running, going sarging, and eating a little better today has made me feel so much better. I didn't even feel the desire to overeat today. I guess I need to remember TD/Owen's "Right Action" concept that he got from Buddhism. I know I'll feel good each day if I just make the right moves towards my goals in live.

The snap back wasn't a total loss. I watched some PUA videos from the 21convention. I listened to some guy from New York, and this Asian guy named DJ Fuji. Their stuff resonated and I think it'll help me this weekend.

Now to try to go to bed and hit the last day of the Shedd Aquarium free day.

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