Sunday, June 12, 2011

Almost got into a fight and then almost pulled

Tonight was another strange night. On he drive home, I had moments where I just felt so hurt from being rejected. That in contrast to what I felt most of the night and especially this morning. Before going out tonight, I was about to write a blog post about how I believe I'm a PUA now. I was gonna write that in the past, I kept viewing the rejections and confirmation of my shitty skills with women. The success felt like an aberration. Lately, I finally feel like the success are just confirmation of how I've made it so far in the journey and I really just laugh off the usual rejections. Deep down, I know that there is too much evidence lately that I'm good at this now as opposed to having bad gamer. That isn't to say that I still can't improve as I have a long way to go still. I had a great mind set throughout the night. I was pushing sets harder than I sometimes do and of course that means more blow outs. I also have some fun sets. I had girls start dancing with me 2-3 times which rarely happens.

Almost got in a fight:

I actually posted this incident on the RSDnation forums in this long thread from a guy who got jumped by 4 guys. Here's the link to my post. I'll just copy and paste the relevant part of the post:

I screwed up today because I didn't think about how the street is different. The advice in this thread is so true about being aware of your surroundings. I do that when I'm walking around away from the bar areas. My guard was down a bit as I was standing in front of a bar near the end a main strip of bars. People were smoking in front. (Bar is Rebel on Clark in Wrigleyvilel for Chicago people). I opened this girl and were having a decent conversation. Some big black dude came up to us and yelled at me, "Get on out of here." I knew she wasn't with him as she was here for some girlfriend's party and was from the suburbs. I could also tell by the look she was giving the dude. I replied, "Relax dude. We're all just having fun." He looked at me again and said, "Get the fuck out of here." I told him, "Dude, she's not interested in you." I had backed away from this girl at this point. I remember I was standing about 10 feet from the dude on the sidewalk. He said, "I'm gonna give you 5 seconds. 5, 4, 3."
The strange thing is I wasn't getting that adrenaline rush or anything that I sometimes get when things get tense. I was just standing there looking at the dude. Suddenly, this white guy about my size wearing an "Iowa" sweatshirt put his arm around me and pulled me away. He said, "That's totally not worth it. Come over here." I thanked the dude for intervening. He said that he doesn't like to see anyone get their ass kicked for no reason. The black dude backed off after this white guy pulled me away. The strange thing is I walked by the black dude again right after as my friends were a few bars up. I didn't look at him but watched him in my peripheal vision in case he tried to jump me but he didn't say or do anything.

I wonder what the guy was gonna do. I tihnk I miscalibrated because we were in the street. In the bars, I know that if I'm just fun and look at them firmly, they usually don't escalate things. Sometimes, though, you just run into an asshole who wants to start trouble. There was another incident around Easter when this guy stole my bunny ears from my head. Prior to that, I haven't gotten in danger of getting into a fight in like three years. Tonight,, I suppose I could have run in the bar if I didn't want to fight the dude. If the guy started walking towards me after that count down, I don't know what I would have done. I hope I would have gotten into a fighting stance or something. Ever since I read this thread, I've told myself that if shit goes down, I have to start punching and kicking like crazy.

Almost pulled:
I tried some street game after that confrontation but I warned Seagull that my game was gonna be a little off from dealing with that BS. We ended up going to Division Street after we ran out of street sets. I opened this chubby blonde chick who walked by. I dance with her and spun her around. We talked for about two minutes but this ugly, fat black chick friend pulled her away. My wing was trying to help but he wasn't putting in a full effort as she wasn't attractive. Seagull is a great wing as he does try. At my urging, he opened them again at the table. I started talking to my girl and she said they were looking for the birthday girl so if she walked away, it wasn't a rejection.

Fast forward to the end of the night, which was about 40 minutes later. I see this same set standing on the sidewalk in front of a bar across the street. I point them out and open this girl again. We talked for a bit and I start trying to seed a pull. I mention Elly's, of course, but she said she's not hungry and wants to drink. She said they were still looking for the birthday girl. Suddenly, she walked out with this black dude. It was obvious that the birthday girl was totally into this guy. The guy was cool and while the girls were conferring, we started talking. He could tell I was trying to close and I confirmed in when he asked. I tried to figure out logistics and found out he lived closest so I started playing up the after party at his apartment.

I'm convinced the dude would have lost the pull without me. She wanted him, but the ugly black girl was being a cock block. The fat blonde I was working kept saying she wanted to be a mediator and work this out. I kept pushing the black dude, who we'll call "M" to keep working this set. He knew he had the girl but he was tempted to work other sets. I said we were gonna make this happen. I even sold him up by saying something like, "M and I met at Joe's before. He's an awesome guy!"

The ugly friend wanted some food and disappeared into the pizza stand next door. M was with his girl and the blonde told that girl not to leave. The next fifteen minutes are spent with us all standing around there. Random guys and this ugly Indian chode kept trying to hit on the blonde. Guys were trying to hit on M's girl but she kept hold his hand and pulling him in.

The girls kept talking about going to this bar in Wrigley cause it closed at 5pm. I kept saying what I thought to be the truth: that these Division bars close at 5pm too, and look how they are closed already. At one point I mentioned driving up there and M's girl and the blonde were ready to do it, but then the black girl showed some resistance.

Finally, we got them walking. The blonde said they were gonna walk the black girl home and then we could hang out. The three girls talked for what seemed like forever and then the black girl finally started to get in her car. Seagull wanted to get a ride from here and mentioned it to me. I said he should ask her. She ended up giving him a ride.

I was left with the two girls and M and these other dudes hovering around. I thought this was gonna go down but I also realized that the blonde kept resisting my hand hold. Then I noticed the girls whispering and then whispering to M. M was being very passive. The girls were content to just keep standing there so I tried to push things along. The girls finally were ready to go but they tried telling me some BS like, "We have to get up early." The random dudes standing around started to give them shit about it.

M put his arm around his girl and started walking south towards his place. The chubby blonde put her arms around M's girl and they were walking away. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was being rejected. I followed a few feet away and then I started to feel like I had been rejected so I just turned around. Seagull's friend was there walking to the train and I looked at him and shrugged.

I suppose I could have made one more attempt to go with them. I could have caught up and said, "We're just gonna have a few beers. Nothing is gonna happen between us" to defuse the blonde girl a little bit. I don't know if I had become too needy trying to push things along.

M was cool. I suppose a real wing could have made things happen for me by insisting I come along. I also would have felt comfortable walking to say Seagull or Matt's place. Maybe this shit was in my head. I don't know. The girls said the BS about going home and then about a minute later I had said, "After party at M's place" and "Let's go" and they starting walking.

I don't know what the right move was. I had played it up that I knew M so it would have made sense for me to keep walking. He wasn't trying to cock block and was trying to make this work. I kept thinking the whispering was them telling M to get rid of me but he never actually said for me not to follow them.

I'm torn about whether or not I should have given up like I did or kept walking.

Go for girls that are into you:
The girl was into me for a second but I was starting to sense that she wasn't into me as she kept dropping my hand when I tried to hold it. I was persistent and figured, given time, I could spike her buying temperature later. The problem was there was too much BS going on to make the pull happen. I know you gotta lead because girls are usually just passive and are content to keep sitting there. Plus, the longer nothing happens, the easier it is for them to lose buying temperature.

In a way,I suppose I was trying to force this close. I hadn't made out with this girl. Maybe I should have been working other street sets and found one that would make out with me. That type of pull is better than what I was trying here. Well, at least I helped some cool guy probably get laid. If he had some moves, he might have gotten a 3-some.

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