JamesAnderson gave me some feedback and 2j did as well last night. The first was that I need to escalate. I told them both that I'm well aware of that problem. It makes it even more frustrating because I know what to do and even notice my window closing but I'm just having a hard time executing, or "walking the path" as Morpheus says in The Matrix. The other minor issue was that JamesAnderson reminded me of something he mentioned in the summer. He says I should work on my tonality and that I talk too fast. I blew that off in the summer time but I realized it's something that I can work on easily and I replied with Ironman's line from Avengers "You're not wrong."
The reason I blew off the advice is that it wasn't hurting my game back then. Yes, it's a mistake, but when I had everything else dialed in, it didn't matter. I was hooking sets all over the place and at one point getting kiss closes quite frequently. When you do a lot of stuff right, girls will overlook mistakes. You can overcome dressing badly, which my wings kept pointing out in late summer as my clothes were all too big as I had lost a lot of fat and had still been wearing my large sized clothes. Considering my struggles lately, I need to try to get everything right . Why handicap myself by not fixing stuff, especially when I've been struggling.
This talking too fast was an point I learned long ago from Tyler's "21 points" articles from the old mASF archives. He said often guys talk too fast because they are afraid of losing the girl so they talk fast, and it's a way of qualifying yourself. You need to talk slow, loud, and deliberate. You speak in a commanding voice and can speak slowly because you're used to people listening to what you have to say. That's how it comes across when you do it properly and of course that creates attraction. Maybe part of why I talk too fast is that I'm trying to qualifying myself in the way he describes. I also think it's because I have so many thoughts running through my head that I end up just spewing it out sometimes as fast as it's rolling through my head.
In any case, I'm gonna work on slowing it down . I can fix this easily and at least some more good can come out of this slump I've been in. Had I continued to be on the roll I had been, I never would have taken the time to fix this problem. Also, it's good that I'm creative and that I have so much to say. I can still use all that but it will come across so much better if I talk slowly and deliberately. I can also use the experiences of giving speeches in college and high school to work on making I'm saying more dramatic. I know how to put in pauses at certain moments, or emphasize certain words to make a point. When I spew out words as fast as possible, I don't get to use any of those skills so that's another reason to talk slowly.
Escalation problems, WTF?
As I was doing my run today, it hit me. I've been pondering my escalation problem all night. My last post included my insights on my claw and my unwillingness to utilize it properly. The other big thought was when I thought about JamesAnderson asking me how many make outs I've had. He'd been keeping count and I remember doing so in the past. After a certain point, you realize that getting kisses and make outs can be easy but usually doesn't equal solid or actually being able to pull the girl. I remembered the Pride parade. Somehow I had blocked that experience from my memory. As I thought about I remember, wow, how the fuck am I struggling with escalating with girls that are giving me IOI's when I should remember that day?! I was practicing a Jeffy drill and I was shocked at how we just opened girls and you could just start making out with them within seconds if you did it right and felt inside that it was going to work. Thinking back, I smile at how I made that first attempt when we first got there and was caught of guard when the first girl I tried it with went for it.
I just have to keep thinking about the times I was out this summer and kiss closing was easy. The other obvious part was I did way more kino then and that just makes it easier to get the IOI's. You don't need explicit IOI's to get a kiss, but even when my game is off, I'm at least calibrated enough to recognize when the girl obviously wants to be kissed. If I'm not completely out of it, I can see myself taking that window.
The problem, of course, and I keep mentioning it is that you're not gonna get signs very often when you're standing a foot away form the girl.
Thinking back on Friday night, that should make the tall blonde and even bigger reference point. It's funny that I can doubt myself when I have moments like that one. I could come up with a bunch of dumb reasons of why that girl shouldn't like me and they seem perfectly valid when I'm in a bad state. She an attractive, tall blonde and I'm short. I had gotten blown out several times already that night. Those are the usual BS reasons. On top of that, add on legitimate mistakes in game. Okay, I was holding strong eye contact which was responsible for the attraction and I was saying at least semi-interesting stuff that even made her giggle a few times. Tyler would say that I was in the moment and speaking without filtering myself. What was bad is that even with her, I was a foot away from her and not touching her at all. Again, that's what busted me out.
Now, here's the thought I had while typing this. I think this will stick tonight. If I actually work on actually kinoing the girls like I'm supposed to, even if it involves doing some newbie drills like the claw, then given that I'm getting attraction doing a lot of shit wrong, I will likely get better results that I have been getting lately. Being close to the girl, holding her hand, and all that stuff turns her on but as I remember Jeffy emphasizing in his video, it also turns me on.
It's a feedback loop. I give strong eye contact and kino. The girl gets more attracted. I might get some IOI"s. My proximity to the girl turns me on and makes me want to escalate more and even if I'm chicken, I have a chance of noticing IOI's due to my calibration from doing this for so long. Seeing IOI's makes me want to escalate or feel dumb that I haven't been escalate.
I've know I have to escalate, but after writing this post, I refreshed my memories of positive kiss close experiences. Additionally, I realized that logically it just makes sense to kino escalate even if I have to use stuff I had to do as a newbie because it will get things moving towards the pull. I can go back to my mantra from the summer, "Believe, Hold Strong Eye Contact, Escalate, and Lead."
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