Sunday, December 30, 2012

Part 2: Payoff: Make out

I smile right now as realize my surprise that I was able to learn the lesson I kept trying to reinforce for JamesAnderson.  We left the other venue and got to Social.  I mention this place as I wrote on Friday that I waited in line for a long time in the cold with no coat.  We had to wait in line again and I told my wing, and I meant it, "I'm swearing something now, and you're not gonna like it, but I'm serious.  This is this place's last chance.  If I stand out here for a second day in the cold and then don't get in, I'm not coming to this fucking place again.  This is despite this being the last place I actually got a pull from."  

I joked the venue sensed it was on it's last chance as I got in.  I was in a great state at the beginning.  I was dancing around like crazy and opening girls, including this girl I ran into by accident.  I approached this tall cutie and started dancing with her downstairs.  She was with her boyfriend who introduced me.  He was cool and said I could dance with her.  That would be fun but I know I'm here also to run game and get girls and being her dance partner for the night wasn't gonna cut it.  I'll give the guy credit.  He was one of the rare guys who is both secure about his relationship with his girl and was cool when I talked to him.  You usually get guys who try to overcompensate by trying to tool you, or trying to make it clear that it's their girl, or who try to act too cool to talk to yo.  This guy was a class act.

I started to lose state as the place started to fill and I wasn't getting anywhere.  I went through periods of not opening, and then periods where I opened but didn't get anywhere.  Some of my other wings showed up but I tried not to stay by them because I don't like the "chode crystal."  That's a community term for a bunch of pickup guys just standing around each other.  While I like having a wing available to help me, I also like to make myself go off on my own and do my own stuff.  It helps me remember how to be able to approach when solo or when my wing is in a set and I'm stuck by myself.

I'm really not gonna make this happen tonight:
I remember being in one of those wandering moments.  I was moving my way through the crowd.  I felt like I had opened almost all the sets. I thought about how JamesAnderson had gotten his lesson reinforced.  I thought about how I had some amazing nights come out of nowhere.  I then looked around and said, "Wow, this is not gonna happen."  I'll have done all this approaching and again, "Nothing."

I think what also bothered me was that my set prior to this moment was this short black girl.  I had her giggling from the start but I knew my kino had been poor.  I had vowed to work on kino and I had done a poor job of doing any kino escalation again tonight.

I write about this state because it reminds me of what I was trying to tell JamesAnderson.  Also, for anyone who happens to read these walls of text, it's a lesson that the night don't just involve constant fun.  I'll admit that unless I'm filled with inner game issues like I was these past few months, or unless I just was fighting with my mother, I have fewer state crashes that the guys I hang out with.  Most of the time, I won't allow myself to stay miserable.  I'll force myself to action.  What helped me get this way is all the experience I have going out, and Jeffy saying one time that even instructors get state crashes.  The difference for instructors is that they've learned how to get out of it as quickly as possible and I can say that prior brutal nights have gotten me to this point as well.

You didn't see me because I was in a bottle service booth:
I told Nintendo and 2j that had I seen one of them at the right moment, I had a good chance of hooking them up with the third girl in this 3-set I got into at the end of the night.  I remember seeing this short blonde walking near me.  I stopped her, grabbed her, pulled her into me, all while maintaining strong eye contact.  I don't even know if I introduced myself, busted her out for not having fun, or used my nonsense about the fiscal cliff that I've been opening with the past few days.  The words don't really matter as it was the body language and that I actually believed in myself when I opened her that made the difference.

This sounds like bullshit to someone who doesn't go out, but there is a big difference between when I stopped the girl and feel myself holding back and not believing she's gonna stop, or when I fully commit myself and believe she's going to stop.  Obviously, there's not a 100% correlation. Girl might stop when I half ass it, and girls can blow right by me when I have everything down.  I remember in late summer Nintendo or JamesAnderson pointed out that I was stopping sets in the streets, and my body language looked weird because I was half pulling back.  I told them, "Wow, you know, I feel like I'm not really committed and I don't believe she's gonna stop."  I realized those thoughts appeared in my body language.

We talked for a bit and the set seemed on just from the eye contact, her giggling about the random stuff I was saying, and her asking a few rapport seeking questions.  She said he had to go by her friend.  This is where I would have lost the set one a night where I'm doubting myself.  I could see myself just leaving: thinking either I was busted out or hesitating to go sit in the bottle service booth.  This time, I did what you're supposed to do: I assumed that she wanted me to come sit with her and acted accordingly.  Her friend was this Indian girl that was making out with some guy.  The girl started talking to the 3rd friend.  I introduced myself to the guy.  I figured out later that it was his bottle service and his half bottle of Patron that I noticed later sitting on the table.

Time for Kino:
I wrote earlier that I was disappointed in myself for another night of lack of kino.  On the ride home, I was thinking about how I do have a lot of elements right in my game but when I haven't been kinoing, I've been creating an almost insurmountable barrier for myself.  I thought about how some of the tall girls I opened throughout the night responded favorable and how things might have worked out if I had done proper kino escalation.

Actually, screw "proper" kino escalation.  I remember thinking as I was walking back from the hotel later, "At time my kino was sloppy, but even shitty kino is better than no kino."

I just remember sitting at the booth and telling myself that I was going to try to do things properly this set.  I think another thing that helped me is that this girl was the type I like.  Sure, I like tall girls in general, but blondes always turn me on as well, and so do pale girls.  This girl was a thin, short, blonde with a pretty face and pale skin.  She was one of my physical types that I really liked.

I found reasons to put my arm around here.  I know some many moments when it's good to do it, but when I'm in a bad state, I'll see them and not do it.  I'd justify it at the time in some weird way by saying, "That's newbie shit.  I don't have to kino on a high point, or because I'm making a point to the friend that we're gonna be great together, or whatever."  I somehow ended up holding her hand at the table.  I don't even remember how I transitioned to that.  I think I grabbed her hand at one point and she seemed comfortable with holding my hand so I just left it there.

3rd wheel:
At this point, I had already been thinking ahead.  I found out the girls were from out of town.  The Indian girl was occupied and I had my girl, but the other girl was just sitting there.  She wasn't cockblocking but I knew that things would go smoother if I got a wing to occupy her.  The thing was, that despite there being 4 wings in the venue, none were around me.  Nintendo was visible at one point and I accomplisment intro'd him from a far to the friend; however, he was dancing with some girl at the time, and then later, I couldn't see him.

This is where the quote above comes in.  Nintendo told me later that he remembers looking all over for me and not finding me.  Part of that might have been when I actually left the club, but also, "You didn't look in the bottle service because you wouldn't have expected me to be there."  I know that I never looked in the bottle service, and one time AndyDufresne surprised me by tapping my shoulder from the bottle service section in this very clb.

My girl said they were all leaving soon at one point and got up from the table.  I followed her and had her by this pillar.  I was trying to figure out logistics and here was mistake #1 for me which I'll elaborate on later.  She asked me where I lived, and I didn't even consider pulling her to my place because of my mom being here, but this was an option and I'll have that in mind in the future.  I was trying for a number close because she said they were gonna be in town until New Years.

After I had gotten the number, I saw that some random guy had opened the 3rd wheel friend.  I noticed this because he was dancing with her and the girl bumped into me as he was moving her towards the pillar.  We had our girls next to each other at this pillar.  I made good move that I also think created attraction because it was dominant.  I grabbed her and move her so she was on the opposite side of the pillar.  I didn't want the girls watching each other and then not wanting to kiss because of that.

I'm pretty sure the guy started kissing his girl.  I was right in my girls face.  We still had strong eye contact.  I went in for the kiss.  I can't believe it's been months since I actually went for a kiss.  Wow, my game has really been fucked up for me not even remembering my last attempt to kiss close.  I remember she turned slightly so I kissed her cheek.

I was back to my summer self as I didn't even react to the rejection.  I used to get deflated and I'd have to fake not caring that she rejected the kiss move.  This time, I really was completely unfazed when she rejected it.  I just kept looking into her eyes and started talking about something else.  About twenty seconds later, I went in for the kiss again because it felt right and she went for it.  I pulled back, and she kissed me again.

This is where I'm lacking recent experience and calibration.  I probably should have build up more buying temp by making the make out longer, but my default move is just to pull back.  I think it's because I remember several sets where I got too into the make out and over escalated and ruin the pull by defusing the sexual tension too much.

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