Saturday, July 6, 2013

Time to be positive: "She's been talking about you all night"

I saw Hershey today at my old roommate's birthday party.  This blog came up in our discussion and he pointed out that my posts have been negative lately.  That was in addition to me not posting very much.  Usually, when I'm not posting, it means I'm not going but, but this time I have been going out.  He had a good point and today was a good day to take it to heart.

One a side note, as I was writing this, I realized that my blog ended with that bad night in Lincoln Park where some fat girl talked shit about me supposedly looking old.  I just realized that my actual last post from June 16 never posted; it was still in draft form.  Still, that post was negative as well.

What I didn't write about was an event that happened around the same time.

This girl has been talking about you all night:

I was out one Saturday in Lincoln Park around the time of the last two posts (so mid June).  I opened this pale girl that was my type (and actually similar looking to this great street set I had tonight).  Prior to this, I had been in two other sets that were good, but that I stupidly left early.  That was going to be a subject of another post that I never made: I was going to write about how I sometimes have a warped view of how a pickup is supposed to go down.

Warped sense of how good a pickup is supposed to be:
I guess I can indulge that topic briefly here.  That night 2j pointed out that I shouldn't have left these two different sets as the girls seemed into me.  I knew I was doing okay, but I just didn't feel that vibe that it was massively on.  I'm talking about a set where the girl is giggling at what I say and just gazing into my eyes.  The truth is that it isn't always going to be like that and it doesn't have to be like that to pull.  2j had actually pulled the night before and he reminded me about his debrief.  Apparently, he had to venue change her to a diner before she could get over to her place.  He said at the diner, there were many moments where he was just plowing her with material and she wasn't really giving input.  Despite that, he still got the lay.  The point was that I sometimes expected too much out of a pickup and leave sets too early.  On top of that, I was then, and have been far to often since then, leaving sets too early, also as a result of what Tyler would call "State Control."  I wanted to protect my ego and feel good by leaving sets on high notes instead of pushing through and risking getting rejected or getting a bad reaction.  I'd rather leave early than possibly get a lay.

Back to the story:
This particular set that I'm thinking about was just a ridiculous example of how good I can be at times.  I suppose I'm too hard on myself in that I think it's supposed to be like this all the time.  I also, as Hershey pointed out, have been focusing too much on what I do wrong instead of giving myself credit for what I do right.  There were be more about what I did write on the upcoming field report of tonight's activities.

I opened this girl and was just saying the most random things that were coming to mind.   Some of it I found amusing, but I remember a few things I said didn't even make sense.  Of course, the vibe I was giving was what mattered and I was broadcasting on the correct wavelength.  She just couldn't stop smiling and giggling.

I remember now that I had stopped her as she was walking by with her friend.  That's always hard and she stayed by me as her friend walked away.  Of course, the friend came and scooped her up.  Since I was on at that point of the night, I went back in a few minutes later.  Again, she was loving everything I was saying.  It was the most insane thing because at that moment, I really could do no better.  That's the type of reaction you can get by button pushing with the old canned lines or push/pull stuff, yet I was somehow doing this with just my unfiltered talk.  This is what Tyler tries to teach us to do as natural game.  Again, I don't give myself enough credit for actually having this skill.  

As I said, I was really bad that night about leaving sets too early.  I stalled for a second and then just left.

Opened by the same set at the end of the night:
Now, what happened in those two instances were magical in some way, but what will forever stick in my head was what happened at closing time.  We had been upstairs at the dance floor area.  I actually had a crazy night where I started off strong, and then had a massive state and energy crash.  No doubt being on the hard core massive deficit cutting diet was partially responsible.  Rather than accept that I was going to have a shitty night, I remember walking outside, listening to Al Pacino's "Any Given Sunday," drinking 5 diet cokes at this hot dog stand, and willing myself to continue.

Seagull was trying to work these Michigan girls.  I had talked to one of the girls when suddenly I felt a tap on the shoulder.  I turned around and I saw this brunette, and my pale girl that I had opened early in the night.

"She's been talking about you all night."  That's what the brunette said to me.  The friend was giggling and smiling again.  The pale girl basically agreed.

I was in shock at this point.  Again, the reactions I got were great when I had been talking to her and that should be enough to give me confidence.  I wouldn't have dreamed the girls would reinitiate contact at the end of the night, and it's even more amazing that I left such an impression on my target.

Unfortunately, she was engaged.  I noticed the ring as I was trying to set up a venue change.  She then said she was engaged.  I then figured I was done and mentally withdrew from the set, even though I kept chatting them for a bit longer.

2j had a good point that the proper PUA way would have been to just keep talking and trying to push for the venue change.  I know that just because she's engaged doesn't mean I couldn't make something happen.  Yes, the chances were slim, but 2j said, even if I just venue changed them and nothing happened, doing so could have allowed me to get into another set in the next venue that could have worked out.  

Still, regardless of how things turned out, this set, I will forever remember.  When I have my doubts, I should remember my interaction with this girl.   I also can think upon tonight's adventures.

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