Sunday, July 14, 2013

Jumping right into the dance floor and the girl torn between her desire for me and loyalty to her boyfriend

Saturday, I knew I had to go out again if I wanted to build on my PUA self that I discovered again on Friday.  I got to Lincoln Park a bit before Prodigy got there.  I had to take a piss so I went into the bar, and I was hoping that I'd open solo even though I simultaneously feared I wouldn't open.  After going to the rest room, I then proceeded to procrastinate doing anything by playing with my phone.  On certain nights, I've done this and then just started to feel bad about myself because I wasn't taking action.  Tonight, I decided to have a different attitude.  Yeah, I was stalling and I wish I didn't have these moments, but I decided not to beat myself up.  I decided to trust that I would eventually do something because I know that even on nights where I had physically had no energy or just got destroyed, I often was still able to push myself to do something.  How then could I let a few minutes of stalling mean that I was going to have a bad night. 

Prodigy arrived a few minutes later and then we walked into a different venue.  I knew that I would have to take action or I wouldn't build on the lessons of the previous night.  I think I opened some girls and experienced some harsh rejections.  I then worked to the dance floor and I didn't want to make the dance floor openings.  I just decided to force myself to do it.  I knew that the first one was always the hardest.  I think I did a half committed attempt that got blown off.  Then, I went to this bachelorette 5 or 6 set and started dancing in between two of the girls.  I remember twirling a blonde around and then ended up with this shorter brunette.  She seemed really into me so I kept dancing with her. 

The bartender came to tell her to put her shoes back on.  I guess her feet were hurting her.  This gave me a bit of isolation from the group and I started dancing with her some more.  I was right up on her and soon I was pressed up against her and had my hands on her waist and ass.  We were talking and just rocking to the music.  I actually started to think I should kiss close.   The fact that I was thinking about it, I know as I'm writing this means that I should have went for it.  Those feelings I have come from calibration, but I didn't trust it at the time.  It just seemed too soon but I suppose being rusty, I forgot how quickly it can happen when I'm taking action and doing things right. 

I ended up making some tactical errors in that I needed to kiss her and move her back to the group and befriend the group.  I knew the friends were going to be cool with me just having her isolated like this early in the night.  Instead of really making the right move, I just kept talking and dancing with her until, inevitably, one of the other girls came along and dragged her away.  I probably should have went back a little bit later, but I decided to venue change instead. 

Summary of taking action thereafter:
Fast forward to shortly before I ended up calling it a night. That bachelorette set got me going.  I really started to open like crazy including several dance floor attempts.  I started to feel like my old opening machine self.  Prodigy let himself get into spectator mode.  I could tell when he was saying he was having a bad night and wanted to go home.  I told him to stop trying to compare himself to what I was doing and to just open and try to make his own progress. 

I pointed out that yeah I was having some good sets, but taking massive action also results in a massive amount of rejections as well.  I loved how I began to really become immune to caring about the rejections.  It was weird how I started to feel good about it because as it happened to me, I remembered how little it really matters as it's happening and how much better I feel about not hesitating most of the time and taking action instead. 

In theory, it shouldn't be surprising, but I remember being surprised at the time when I tried to dance with this one random girl.  She waved me off and I just smiled and shrugged and kept dancing and moved off.  Because my state didn't drop, the girl actually smiled and touched my back as I was leaving. 

"I have a boyfriend" but she wanted me and was visibly torn about staying or leaving:
The other set that stuck with me was near the end of the night.  I was in the dance floor area when I came upon this cute girl.  I don't remember exactly how I did it, but I was up on her like old times.  It was like when I used to stand on the dance floor and just stop random girls walking by.  I did things in just a confident and smooth way that she was immediately cool with it. 

I remember her telling me she had a boyfriend and I just plowed through that.  I remember starting to dance with her as she was trying to blow me off with the boyfriend comment again.  I remember putting my arm on her and then her kind of snuggling into my grip.  Soon, we were swaying into the music.  She was smiling and getting into it but then I could also see her starting to feel guilty. 

This was one of these sets where if she were single, this would totally be on.  Despite this boyfriend problem, she still didn't want to leave.  I remember saying something like, "I'm in the middle of this adventure... my
Saturday night.  I have three hours to go and I'm just wondering what amazing things can happen."  

I remember her saying the boyfriend thing and me blowing it off with stuff like, "That's perfect, I happy being single" or "If he's not here, it doesn't count" or "Look at you over analyzing things.  We're just dancing."

I said that last bit as I had her pulled into me so our bodies were pressed together. 

She said she had to look for her friends and I said, "They aren't going to leave without you.  Girls don't do that to each other." 

I'll always remember how this really was a clear example of a girl torn between her desire and her logic, her good and bad side.  Finally, the angel on her shoulder won and she said, "I'm sorry, I have to go" and she ran off. 

So close:
I kept thinking about this set all night and this morning.  Yes, it was bad luck that she wasn't single, but I still think I could have made it happen.  She was ready to run off but I was doing things right for a bit.  I think I needed to just pattern a bit more.  I thought that I could have played on that idea of desire or letting herself go, or taking control of her life.  What I mean is that I could have said stuff like this:

-I thought that I could have said, "Hey! Hey!"  "Shhh."  "Look into my eyes.  Tell me that you're not feeling this also.  If this happens to you every day or if you're not feeling anything, then you should run off.  I feel like there could be something here... something exciting.  I want to find out.  We're just having fun."

-I could have also played into that Vegas idea of doing what you really want in life.  Thinking back, I played on this a little.  I remember saying "Time is short.  The earth could be hit by a meteor."    I just think I could have expanded on that emotion.  

-I thought about her mentioning looking for her friends.  I think I could have also said, "Hey, that's perfect.  That means no one has to know.  You don't have to explain why you're dancing with me.  It's our little secret."  That's playing into the idea that I'd be discreet.  

The return of my exciting adventures:
I truly believe things are going to take off again.  When I've gotten into this zone, I've had some really fun times and, it seems crazy as it hasn't happened in such a long time, but heck, I'll probably be pulling again very soon.  I think about the adventures I had had over the past two years in my good moments.  The crazy thing is that my game is even better now that it was then.  I'll have some rust to work through when it comes to mid and late game stuff that I haven't had practice with lately, but this inner game stuff has been the major roadblock.   If I just continue to take massive action, success just has to happen. 

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