Saturday, July 6, 2013

From state crashes to "He's so cute"

Tonight, I could have just ended early and let myself have a shitty night.  Nintendo actually did that to himself.  He did it for other reasons that I did: he's had problems pushing through lately because of the success he's had.  I would have done it because I legitimately felt shitty from eating too much at the party earlier.  I had bad gas from eating too much ice cream cake without taking lactose pills.  At one point, I was so thirsty and was trying to fight through that too.  That's in addition to the self doubt and ego protection nonsense that occupied far too much of my nights lately.

I was out early with him, and we met up with several other guys including Andydufresne, Crazyfoot, and this other wing that doesn't have a name.  I actually started the night out the way I was supposed to as I felt good leaving the party.  Interacting with some old friends got me into a good mood, and the talk with Hershey was helpful in getting me to focus on the positive, as I mentioned in my last post.  We got to the venue, and I started opening some sets.  Several of them went okay.  I left one 3-set early when it stalled.  I could have recovered, but it was early in the night, and I think I was again expecting too much.  Jeffy calls the early part of the night social mingling time.  I should consider just staying in early sets until I bust out.  This would serve as a warm up and it would save me from my ego protection nonsense.

I do better later because I'm warmed up, but also, as 2j is so found of saying, the interactions are just different.  The girls are drunk then and in the party mood, and that's not true early on.  I'll have decent conversation and get some IOI's, but even when I'm not doing the ego protection move of leaving early, I'll think I'm legitimately leaving early because the girls not gazing into my eyes.  For the next few nights, then, I'm going to create a newbie type drill for myself where I'm just going to stay in early sets until I bust out.  Now, I'm not just going to sit there and talk, though, as I could do that for a long time.  I'll talk and if it slows down, rather that just leave, I think I should try to move the girl to the other part of the bar, or move things along in some way whether it's more kino, mini-isolation or whatever.  Any of those options is better than just walking away.

Crazyfoot is inspiring but also puts you in spectator mode:
I had my initial openings but then I had a period where I was physically feeling like shit, and then I let myself get into spectator mode.  Crazyfoot hadn't been out in six weeks apparently, but he was back into his opening machine self with no problem.  When I was in a bad state, I got into spectator mode and just couldn't open anything.  Later, I got inspired by him.  I realized that he was doing what I should be doing, and what I have done in the past (though even at my best, I've never been as outgoing as he has).  He was doing dance floor stuff and getting some success. Now, I have a mental block with the dance floor that I sometimes manage to break and have success at times.  Crazyfoot, though, was relentless with going for dance floor type openings and dealing with the rejection.

He inspired me in his tenacity, but he also made me realize that again, I have some warped mental image of how this is supposed to work.  By watching him, I realized that his success on the dance floor just comes from doing the same shit that I do at times on the dance floor.  He also got the same rejections that I've experienced.  The only difference is that he's found a way to just push himself to try many dance floor approaches and I've always been hesitant to makes the moves.

Now, I already know that's the answer, but seeing Crazyfoot tonight was just the right way to get the lesson in my head, and I think I'm going to be more comfortable making dance floor moves when I go out Saturday.

The state turnaround:
As I mentioned above, I got to a point where I was standing around doing nothing at the bar.  Nintendo and Andydufresne had left.  Crazyfoot and this other wing were working sets while I was just wondering why I was standing around.  Finally, I decided I was thirsty and since there was no line to get in, I did my usual Diet Arizona Ice Tea run.  I felt better after drinking that and just chilling outside on the sidewalk enjoying the summer weather and watching some teenagers throwing snap pops down the street.

I went back into the venue and happened to see the other wing who told me they were running street game and invited me to come along.  You know I was in a bad state when I wasn't sure if they wanted me around at that point and felt like part of the crew again when he gave me that invite.  It's ironic too, that he's the wing I knew least out of all the crew I was out with that night.

Crazyfoot and that wing got into a set.  I decided to walk ahead of them . I finally was ready to do my own thing and I knew I needed to be ahead of Crazyfoot if I wanted to open anything.  He really is the epitome of how you should open with no hesitation.  If he's in front of me walking on the sidewalk, he'll open any cute girl that we walked by or walks by us.  If I don't move ahead to talk action, I'm just left winging.  If I stall and it's a 2-set, I'm left standing by myself as the other wing goes into wing Crazyfoot in just a few seconds.

He's so cute, I want him to come with us:
I spotted a chubby girl and a cute girl smoking in front of a CVS.  Cigarettes are a huge turn off to me considering I'm in the middle of marathon training.   On my left was 5 girls in a bachelorette party.  As I'm writing this, I realized how I really had turned my state around as I went from not opening to going in on this bachelorette set.  On top of that, there were two attractive girls there including one that was my type: pale skin, and slender.

I don't even remember what I opened with exactly.  I think I said that it was too early for them to be going home (they looked like they were about to catch a cab).  The opener doesn't even matter.  That's why I try to tell Prince, who decided to come out late and met up with me after this set.  This just reminded me that I created another dumb opener tonight.  I've gotten sick of the "Angry Birds" opener I've been using on girl that are on cell phones so tonight I was saying, "The answer is 5 time 10 to the 50th power.  You look like you're doing physics problems on your phone.  What's up?"  It just goes to show you that you really can open with whatever as long as you plow through.

I remember when I opened, I had two girls attention in the group.  One of them grew up in the town next to me.  She was decent looking, but the one I really wanted gave me an unexpected response.  If I actually get in alignment with where I need to be, I'll stop describing such things as being unexpected.  I should truly believe in myself and expect that girls would want me like this.  Anyway, I noticed that her eyes just lit up when she looked at me.

Now, my game has been shitty lately.  I have my bright moments, as I've been describing, but my kino is a little off.  I just need to re-calibrate some things, and that shouldn't be too hard if I can keep on path from tonight.  In spite of having poor kino lately, I was able to realize that I need to be escalating with this girl.  I put my arm on her.  I laugh as I write that as that's just basic kino.  "The claw," as RSD was preaching 2-3 years ago.  You can do that on random girls that you open, but I needed to do that here.

As I put my arm around her, she snuggled closer into me.  She started saying, "He's so cute."  I thanked her and started spurting out random material.  She then said to the group, "I want him to come with us to (whatever after hours club they were going to: it's a venue I actually had never been to, nor heard of before)."  She said to me, "Do you want to come?"  At this point, she got distracted by the bachelorette girl and I started talking to the girl that grew up in the town near me.

Chased off in a flattering way:
I chatted for a bit and then tried to move back to my target.  I got screwed by the one girl in the group that I hadn't interacted with at this point.  The whole situation, now that I think about it, is funny.  So many things were going right in this set, but little things just went wrong.  This could have been my perfect set: it was the best response I have gotten lately.  The girl who couldn't stop talking about me to her friend is a close one, but this is even better as this girl who wanted me was single.

It's old Mystery stuff to engage the whole group.  Somehow I had not disarmed that friend.  She saw me all up on my target and chased me off because she hadn't realized that the rest of the group had accepted me, and that my target had given me massive IOI's.

This cockblock did chase me off in a flattering way.  I just remember her saying, "No, get out of here" and pushing me off.  Again, I get why this happened.  As she was pushing me off, she was giggling, and then she smacked my ass twice.

As I was walking away, I realized why I got chased off.  I then realized that I should have gone back but lost my nerve.  I knew the group liked me and my target liked me.  I could have gone back in, disarmed this cockblock.  It might not have been that difficult either as she didn't chase me off in the pissed off way that often happens.  She was playful and I guess she was attracted to me as well if she was smacking my ass.

Lock-in kino:
My other mistake goes back to the kino.  Sure, I put my arm around her, but I was sexual enough and I let go of the claw far too early.  I remember I wanted to get her name early on, and I dropped my arm to shake her hand.  I remember thinking, "Wow, that's dumb.  You don't need to shack her hand if she's already comfortable with you having your arm around her."

Once I had my arm around her, and she had talked about me being cute, and mentioned me going along with them, I needed to stick to her.  I could have turned to face her and put my arms around her, and had her arms around me so we were face to face.  I should have talked less and given her more intense eye contact and just went into sexual state.  Thinking back, it's obvious she would have kissed me, I just calibrated the kino too slowly.

This is what happens when you take a break.  I've been back for several weeks now, but I'm still having to teach myself my kino lessons and how to escalate.  As I think I'm getting over this inner game stuff that's been plaguing me, I think I'll be able to focus on just escalating.

The results I've been getting when I just put myself out there have been good and I just have to apply my knowledge to make things happen.

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