Saturday, July 6, 2013
Long Brazillian set and ensuring the club entry
I don't have the energy to make a long post about this, but the longest set of the night was this Brazillian girl I opened on the street. I had spotted her playing with her phone but I didn't open for awhile. Finally, I approached her and just started chatting. The conversation was going well, and she started to give me the deep eye contact. I tried moving in closer but I couldn't seem to get into a strong kino position. It was late in the night, but she seemed like she was sober. She was waiting outside for this other friend of hers to show up. She must have been out there for almost an hour as I didn't open her for like 10 minutes, and I must have talked to her for like 20-30 minutes before the friend showed up.
I decided to number closer her as I knew the friend was coming and we seemed to be getting along. I felt, at the time, like I did a lame set up to ask for the number, but she gave it with no resistance.
I did a good mini move after a second beggar came and interrupted my set. This annoying fucker wouldn't leave for like 20 seconds and when he left he tried to start something by saying, "What did you call me?" I said, "I didn't say anything" and then I told my target, "Let's go over here as we're gonna keep getting bothered by bums over here."
After talking in the new spot for a bit, my girl told me her friend had parked and they were going to go into the venue. She started walked towards the door as we had been standing in front of the place next door. I thought the set was over, but she motioned for me to come with her.
This is an example of what 2j was trying to emphasize for me two weeks ago. When you're in set that long, or what it's going well, you just have to keep assuming that you're now a part of the group and assume that you can go along with them. At the very least, as I wrote in one point, you should ask, "Can I come with?" Far too often, I'll have that moment of doubt where I fear the girl doesn't want me there, and I'll let them walk away, or worse yet, I'll walk away. She wanted me to stay, and lucky for me, she motioned me over. I need to assume this until the girl chases me away or I'm going to miss out on some good sets as most girls wouldn't have helped me here.
The friend showed up, and I pulled Prince into the set. The girls wanted to go into the venue. We got in line and I asked this guy that was in line what the deal was with the venue. I knew that they often just close the doors at a certain point; the guy told me that they weren't letting anyone else in. The girls then went to the other side. We had been in the main line area, but they were letting certain people in on this other side. I saw the bouncers let in some other girls but turn some guys away. As the bouncer was checking the girl's ID, I said to him, "We just came outside to grab her (pointing to the friend)."
I later told Prince that I did that to ensure we'd get in. I feared the bouncer would let the girls in and deny us. Actually, I'm sure that's what would have happened had I not said that bit to make it clear that I was with the girls and to make it sound like we had already been inside. How did I know this move? Of course, over the years, I've had that happen where the girls got in and I didn't.
I got separated from my girl inside and found her again. I lost her again and then found her and this other friend gave me a bad reaction so I decided to not try again. Just as I turned around that time, I realized that I might have been being dumb. I had met the one friend outside, but I hadn't gotten introduced to this 3rd friend, so of course she was going to give me that reaction. She didn't know that I had been chatting with my target for like 40 minutes. She assumed I was just some random guy that was coming up to bother her friend (my target).
This is like when I realized what the deal was with the bachelorette set earlier. My calibration is there but for these less common situations, I had just a slight lag in perception, and then I didn't have the stones to go back in one final time.
I also just doubted myself that little bit and that's why I was willing to accept the frame that my target had told the friend to tell me to go away because she didn't like me. When I am a true believer and get over this, I won't be so ready to accept that frame. In this Brazilian set, I needed to bust on the friend and then get introduced. I knew she was trying to "save" the friend, and I just needed to get her to realize that my target knew me and like me. Simple in hindsight but not at the time when I went with the bad frame.