Saturday, January 5, 2013

Forgetting the normal night & Nervous around a tall girl

Thursday and Friday nights were the normal nights where nothing really happened.  I opened a bunch of sets, got some good reactions, but I didn't kiss any girls and obviously didn't get any where near pulling.  Thursday was better in that I didn't experience a state crash.

State Crash and Too High expectations:
I can attribute the onset of the state crash for forgetting the natural flow of the night and for having too high expectations.  I did every correctly early on in terms of taking action.  2j and I walked into the bar and I immediately opened a 2-set.  I love when I don't hesitate at the beginning of the night and I owe that to the momentum of going out so much lately and for fixing most of my inner game problems.  From there, I got into several sets and was joking around and just having fun.  Later, more wings showed up and I remember at one point, the other 4 guys happened to be talking to girls and I was standing there by myself.

I shouldn't let that bother me, but add that to the fact that I felt like I should have already been kissing at girl and/or be in a deep set and I had a state crash.  Fortunately, I pushed through it and continued on with my night.

It's so dumb to allow myself to start thinking in that way that can lead to the state crash.  Thinking back on the past few days where I had some success, most of the nights involved the same stuff that was happening Thursday night and Friday night.  Sometimes, I just get an unrealistic view of how the night is supposed to happen.  I know guys better than me, including instructors have to go through a lot of the same bullshit of getting busted out and just pressing on with the night, but for a bit tonight, I somehow felt like I was having a bad night because I hadn't already gotten an awesomely hooked set going.

These are the mind battles with which I still struggle.

Actually nervous around a girl:
I've gotten better with entitlement, as Tyler calls it.  With almost all the girls I talked to lately, never did I feel nervous like I did as a newbie.  It all usually feels the same for me which is why I've been enjoying going to venues where there are better looking girls.  I can get the same bust outs with both hot, average, and ugly girls, and 2j and I both report that often, it's the average and ugly girls that will give us the worst bust outs.  Hot girls can just ignore you or abruptly walk off, but they usually never start talking shit like we've experienced with average and ugly girls.

Tonight, I entered this big set with two tall girls.  I opened the cutest and tallest one, in my opinion.  I was taken back by how nice she was and how well she responded to me.  She introduced me to all her friends.  She later asked me who I was here wit hand I pointed to my wings who were in a big circle and tried to wave them over.  They wouldn't come, so I left the set and dragged them over.

I actually should have just left them out of it.  It wasn't that they did anything wrong, but the act of going to grab them got me out of the moment.  When I came back, it started to hit me how attractive this girl was to me, and then I could feel myself starting to ask weird.  I generated some shit tests by saying some dumb stuff.  I still could have passed and 2j actually helped blow off one, but I ended up walking away because I didn't feel entitled anymore.

This is gonna be an issue with really hot girls, but I know the way to work through it is just to keep forcing myself to open them.  It's worked for many of the girls I used to be intimidated by and again, it surprised me that this girl was able to generate that nervousness inside me.

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