Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Week in review: Finding myself

I've been busy this past week and haven't had time to write.  As the post ideas collected in my head, I felt less inclined to create the posts when I had time today.  I know writing has helped me improve in the past, I know in the future it helps me track progress, so here I am writing.

I went out Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat and Sunday.  Going out frequently, of course, is how you make progress in this game, and I'm surprised how far I've come in a week.

Seagull picked me up and we went to the local place with a huge beer garden.  I pregamed with 4 beers and then had too many at the bar.  I felt stupid when I overate afterwards, but on the bright side, the next day, I decided to get back into a cutting diet.  That's for my fitness log, I suppose.

I'm almost embarrassed to write about what happened, and I also can't believe how much my mindset has changed in just this week.  Seagull and I got into a 2-set that was going well.  That was after I stood around a lot and was afraid to open.  Seagull opened a few sets and after winging, I forced myself to open, but I hesitated far too many times.  This would be a theme of the week, especially on a forced solo mission Saturday that I'm making a short post about later.  

My target got a text from a guy friend that said he was on his way.  After that, Seagull moved us all to the bags game that was set up on the lawn area.  Just as  we were starting to play, the guy showed up.  Being in a shitty zone, I wasn't confident enough to deal with the situation.  I left to go to the bathroom and proceeded to have more drinks drowning my sorrows.  Seagull text me asking me to come back.

I got a huge IOI from the girl when she was happy to see me and said she was wondering why I was gone so long.  Despite that, I still wasn't confident to deal with all this stuff.  Then, a guy and two girls showed up so I started talking to them.  I somehow agreed to play bags with them but I got saved when Seagull returned the props for the game that he had checked out under his ID.

That girl liked me and I realized how dumb I was later in the night.  I also realized that I all I had to do was just be social and then keep talking to my girl and that set would have been fine.  It's not liked I needed massive AMOG game; the guy was just a chump AFC who I let keep talking to her because I left.

I opened more frequently on this night but I still had too much anxiety compared to where I had been in the past.  The set of the night was at the end.  Ironically, I had spotted the girl that I ended up having a solid interaction with earlier in the night.  I had thought about opening her but didn't because she seemed to have been in a big set.  It turns out she was from Belgium and was with another girl from there who had studied here in Chicago.  The other girls were random Chicago girls that they had met.

Seagull opened this one girl who was standing by the girl that would be my Belgium girl and one of the Chicago girls.  I tried to come into wing but I didn't hook my two girls and Seagull had his girl isolated.  He looked like he was doing very well and I just walked off and played in my phone.

As I was standing around, I thought about how I used to open street sets like crazy after this bar closed and here I was terrified to do so.  Seagull then text me to come back and I was surprised to see he was just with his girl and the girl I had spotted earlier: again, these were the two Belgium girls.

My girl liked to talk a lot and we got involved in a conversation.  I actually was trying to venue change to after hours.  She said that she had to go with the big group.  As I was talking to my girl, some random black guy was trying to steal the two girls from Seagull (his target, and this Chicago blonde that had returned).  The guy was saying dumb stuff like, "Come smoke marijuana (yes, he said that, not "weed" or any other perforative term)."  When the girls didn't want to go, he said even stupider stuff like, "You're gonna go with him?!" and later "Go ahead and get raped by this guy."  

I would have said some stuff to get rid of him, but my girl was busy talking to me and we were face to face with strong eye contact.  The guy didn't even try to interfere with me because it looked like the girl and I knew each other.

My mistake ended up being that I didn't try to tag along with the group.  On Thursday, 2j made me realize that I too often try to just alpha lead a set to come with me, or to get the girl to leave the group.  He reminded me that the other method is to just tag along with the group.  He said often you have to do this with these 21 year olds who won't leave their group.

We checked out this new bar that had free arcade games.  Surprisingly, there were more girls that you would expect here.  I again wasn't approaching as often as I should have been.  Also, the games were too distracting.  I improved as the night progressed and 2j and I ended up in this 2-set at the end that liked us.  2j didn't want to stay in because he said his girl was a "6."  He said if he could have pulled her right then, he would have but he explained that the set wanted to stay out till close and we would have had to stay out all night.  He said that now that he's not drinking, he'd rather just go to sleep since his girl wasn't that hot.

I should/could have tried to tag along with the group again.  This set made me realize that once again, I doubted myself.  2j said that we were basically part of the group and when my target threw out the after hours idea (she knew an owner at this blues bar), we should/could assume we were tagging along.  I knew the set was going well up to this point, but then I started to doubt if they wanted us to come with.

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