Sunday, May 19, 2013
Gazing into the eyes of hot girls is bring back my confidence
I think it was Tyler who said that sometimes you just have to find the confidence from within (i.e. develop inner game) and ignore the negative feedback and eventually you start to get the positive feedback. This was so true for me for the longest time. I had to find some way to believe in myself, or at least believe in the process (believe that if I kept going out, I'd eventually get some success). I had to ignore all the rejections and negative feedback and experiences I was having and just believe this PUA skill was possible to develop.
I again am reminded that no matter what, I can't really have a bad night like I did back in those days. Well, if I want to stand around and not talk to anyone I can duplicate the AFC days, but if I actually talk to some girls, I won't have the nights I had back in the day.
I know I have to believe in myself, but realistically I still have my doubts. I keep wondering how far the layoff really has set me back but some of feedback I've been getting is forcing me to conclude that if I keep going out, I'll gain the skill back faster that I might expect.
Ultimately, I have to believe in myself if I want the girl to believe that she's going to have a good time with me, but what was strange these last two days is that there have been several sets where the girls have been trying to believe in me.
In other words, this is the opposite of the situation I described above. I've been developing inner game from the results of my outer game: the feedback I'm getting from girls.
I mentioned in the 2-set post that there were moments early on where that brunette was gazing into my eyes but I didn't make it happen there. Maybe I lacked kino, or maybe I just didn't have enough time considering the situation as we were getting kicked out of that bar as it was closing time. The set that sticks out in my mind was this cute blonde on Division.
I haven't been to Division in last summer as it's so trashy now but Seagull convinced me to try it again. He remembered how it was years ago and thought it would be good. I thought maybe it could be decent since I hadn't been there in like 10 months, but I again concluded that I'm never going out there again.
Somehow, I found the type of girl that 2J would described as the classy type of girl we'd find in River North at Barleycorn or Moe's. We walked into one of the few bars that had no cover and that Seagull could get into with shorts and I went up to the set I spotted as we walked in. It turned out to be a massive set, but it looked like liked a mixed 4 set with a guy and girl talking and two girls talking (this blonde and some average looking brunette).
I give myself credit for just walking in and opening without hesitation considering how I stood around for that hour at the beginning of the night not opening anyone. The no name wing came into wing me and Seagull later came in and engaged some other girls that ended up being part of the set.
The girl was a really cute, had a nice body from what I could tell (wasn't fat, wasn't too thin but I really didn't get to check her out as she was seated). On top of that, she was a med student at the Med school one of my buddy's wife attended years ago. This girl is quality. This is the type of girl 2j would want. I agree. This is the type of girl we'd want to develop some sort of LTR. This is in contrast to a hot club girl that we'd want to hook up with but wouldn't want to date.
Anyway, the key point here is that despite the negative thought I was having because part of me was still thinking about that 2-set experience from earlier in the night, this girl liked me.
We were just gazing into each other's eyes as we were talking. There were two times where we just happened to stop talking and kept locked eye contact. I remember once she giggled to break the sexual tension.
Now, the layoff has regressed my game, as I failed with this set. The guy friend came in and started talking to the brunette and the blonde. I just went into spectator mode and then started talking to the no name wing. Then some other guy that was probably just a med school guy friend came in and sat by my girl. On even a normal day where I'm not this rusty and having self doubt in the way I've had lately, I would have just kept talking to my target or at least found out how they all knew each other. Instead, I gave up.
On top of that, as I wrote about and thought about the eye contact and sexual tension we had, I realized that had I had her isolated I likely could have kissed her. Giving that I didn't have her isolated, and hadn't figured out the situation with the guys, I could have at least said something like Ozzie suggested in "Transformations." I could have said something like, "You know, talking to you, you're giving me that funny feeling. I haven't felt this way in awhile." I then could have asked if she was single (2j likes to do that and that could have worked here). I also could have tried to isolate her upstairs.
Okay, the mistakes were obvious, but obviously, I still need a lot more days of going out before I learn the lessons I have forgotten due to this break.
The key here is that yes girls find me attractive. I may be rusty, I may have my doubts, but that PUA inside me is partially shining through. Being in the wrong mindset, I've been too willing to focus on the negatives, but I can't deny the positive evidence.
Wow, I really forgot how good it can feel to have a mutual attraction going with a pretty girl, to have that sexual tension brewing because I can be that attractive PUA guy I sometimes can be. I'm not desperate for sex like I used to be or even desiring it that much, but the feelings I'm getting even with these sets reminds me of why I got into this.
The lesson is the same as from Friday night. If I keep going out, I'm going to get more evidence like this. I'm gonna gain more confidence in myself. I'm going to make the right moves that I know I need to make. I'm going to start having real success again and I'll surpass that crazy week period in the summer with the almost daily kiss closes, and how things were really rolling again around Christmas.