Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Taking action and realizing I'm sabotaging myself

I'm finally to Sunday, the day that actually matters.  It's funny that I could have let my evening start out badly when some drunk idiot looked at me and said, "Fuck you!" as I walked by him.  His friend told him, "Settle down."  I just flicked him off and as I kept walking and didn't even look at him or turn around at any point.  I was aware enough of my surrounding to tell if he were following me or coming back but I basically ignored him other than the finger.  I just mention this because I know guys who would have either gotten into a fight or just let this incident mess with their head.

Early on, I had this point where I realized, "Oh yeah, it feels good to take action even if you get busted out and feel awkward."  I saw this Indian girl that I normally would have opened.  I opened her after only a minute of contemplating.  Right after that, I thought about going into this big bachelorette set.  I had this thought on several nights this week with several big sets and always made excuses.  This time, after waiting for them to stop pictures, I walked up.  I tried to open two different girls and they totally blew me off and I felt stupid for a second.  Then, I felt really good.

Yes, it felt good to get rejected because I had done what I wanted to do.  Had I not opened the set, I would have felt negative emotions.  When I hesitate too much, I start wondering why I can't do what I used to do and I start beating myself up.  I suppose sometimes that prods me to act later, but mostly it's just bad.  I want to be the guy that used to open any set.  I want to be the guy that sometimes is brave enough to jump in the middle of the 3 girls on the dance floor.

Tall blonde giving me IOI's:
This set was a screw up, but I think it helped me later in the night and will help me for awhile.  We were in this bar that had live band karaoke going on.  I spotted two hot tall blondes walking towards the bar.  I followed them and Seagull and I ended up standing near them.  We were both thinking about opening and then I finally decided to just do it.  I remember thinking about how good it felt to do the bachelorette set.  I again thought how I hate the feeling of not taking action so much.

Someone was singing Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer."  I walked toward the set and was singing along with the song.  When I was next to them, I said, "Come on, you gotta know the words.  Why aren't you singing along?"   The girl smiled and started singing along.  I knew that compliance was an IOI.  I tried to talk to the other girl, but this first one was more receptive.

Seagull then came in and started talking to my target.  I thought about prodding him to talk to the other girl.  Suddenly, he just walked away.  I then walked away.

I hurt myself:
I said immediately that it was dumb that I left.  I thought about 2j reminded me in the past that hot girls don't give a lot of the normal IOI's you get from average girls.  If a hot girl is standing there talking to you, that's an IOI.  They won't waste time talking to you if they don't want to talk to you.  This is in contrast to average girls or ugly girls who don't have the confidence to chase guys off sometimes or just like the attention.  Despite having heard this theory, I know this from experience as well.  Hot girls either blow you off abruptly, or they tell you the scoop right away.  They won't waste their time if there is not some interest there.

I knew I the initial compliance was a good sign.  On top of that, she was smiling while talking to me.  There was no reason to leave the set.  I just didn't believe that I was deserved her so I left and used Seagull as an excuse.

I hope I'll learn this lesson for next time.  I still have this big confidence issue with tall girls.  This is despite having some good interactions with several tall girls.  I guess if I hooked up with one, I'd solve this for good. In the meantime, I'll still struggle with it.

In any case, the lesson here is the same lesson for many of the sets this past week.  If I just believed in myself and assumed it was on, things might have happened more like the last set of Sunday night.

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