Saturday, June 1, 2013

Self doubt most of the night but almost pulled through winging

I went out Wednesday night but there was nothing to report.  I hesitated far too much for my liking, but I did open a lot more than I ended up doing Friday.  The highlight of the night was that I saw these two blonde Irish girl dancing and seemingly being of high buying temperature.  Despite not having the best night, I click my mind into a gear where I went up, opened them, and started dancing with one.  2j and Seagull were in a low energy state and I had to force Seagull to come in a wing me.  We ended up failing to persist for the venue change.  We then saw them on the sidewalk and some guy was talking to them.  I saw the move to try to bust him out and get them to venue change but I lacked the confidence at the time to go do it.

Friday's doubts:
I'm embarrassed to write that my game was horrible for most of Friday night.  I couldn't get myself to open girls and kept letting Seagull do the opening.  I actually was having a good conversation with the 2nd set he opened that I winged but he didn't get anywhere with his target.  I also felt like the conversation was good but I hadn't created any connection.  

The next memory I had was seeing these two blondes on the dance floor at this other bar.  There was a good song playing that I was dancing two.  I was thinking about opening with dance floor game but I hesitated and then some other guy opened them.  Seagull pointed out that I could dance with the friend but we both failed to act.  This was a theme for this part of the night.  Three other times we stalled and some guy came in and opened sets we wanted while we were hesitating.  2j likes to say that it's sometimes good to open after other guys because it makes you look far better in comparison to most lame guys that open.  The problem is that I didn't believe in myself this night.  

I remember thinking at one point, "WTF?  I have to snap out of it.  Do you want to ever have sex again?  Well, if you keep standing around doing nothing, you're just gonna feel shitty and get no results."

I then remember thinking, "How the heck would I even expect a girl to like me when I'm full of self doubt at this moment.  What do I think I need?"   

This is the common theme in my posts lately, but I knew the answer is that all the irrelevant stuff I'd like to have doesn't really matter for sarging at the bar and trolling for SNL's.  Being lean enough to show my abs doesn't matter as the girls couldn't even tell that about me with my shirt on and I know from experience that my weight hasn't mattered much.  Having a ton of money doesn't matter.  I know the only thing that I need is the confidence I've had in the past and that has come back at certain times these past two weeks.  

Winging Seagull:
About a half hour before closing time, we walked into this venue.  There were three girls dancing: a cute blonde, a Filipina girl, and this chubby girl.  Seagull opened the blonde.  I started dancing in the area.  I saw the chubby girl was high buying temperature.  I was dancing near them and I felt a confidence that I didn't feel the entire day.  I just decided that I needed to be a good wing anyway, I didn't even care if I got rejected, and I was having fun dancing by myself so why not try dancing with this girl.  

Of course, that's about the right attitude I need when I'm contemplating dance floor game; consequently, it worked.  We made eye contact and I started dancing closer to her.  I spun her and the next thing I know, she's grinding her ass on my cock.  I have to say that even though I'm trying to get better looking girls, it still feels good when they do that.  Also, as I've said, I'm less picky about same night lay possibilities and especially when it's near closing time.  Finally, as I was telling Seagull the other day, there are certain chubby girls that I'll hook up with and certain ones I which I just don't find attractive.  

The girl kisses me:
I forgot to mention that at one point, I joked to Seagull that it sucks that I kept getting stuck winging these sets where there's a less attractive girl.  I said it as a joke because I knew it was my fault for not opening.  He'll do me the favor if I'm opening, but if I'm going to be lame and not open, then I can't complain.  

I mention this because I realized with this set that I'm actually getting valuable lessons from sarging these not so attractive girls.  As I wrote in the last section, I was in the prefect mindset for doing dance floor game.  The trick that Tyler mentioned in a video last year is that you just have to act the same way with the attractive girls that you want.  It sounds easier said that done, but he says you just keep practicing and you end up going through the same motions with the hot girl and eventually it just clicks.   You pretend the hot girls is the chubby girl and try acting the same way and eventually just end up being comfortable with the hot girl too.  

We were dirty dancing a bit and then I remember we were face to face and our eyes locked and my mind suddenly clicked, "She wants to be kissed."  Just as I saw that, she started kissing me.

I'm surprised how quickly I see the kiss close windows now.  

Self doubt with my girl ignoring me:
I started trying to figure out logistics.  She had said they were going to after hours bar and this time I learend from the other week and just assumed I was going with.  Seagull, his girl, 4 other girls, and I walked to the after hours place.  Things got weird because my girl started to ignore me.  At the time, I was thinking she had buyer's remorse or I had giving her validation with kissing her, even though I had stopped the kissing.  (On a sidenote, I still don't know how to calibrate when you should keep kissing vs when you should stop.  In other words, when you need to keep her buying temperature steady with kissing vs when you need to stop so you don't relieve all the sexual tension).  I just kept walking, trying to keep my cool.  I made random comments to the group about places we walked by, and I also talked to Seagull.  

When we got to the venue, Seagull and his girl were by the dance floor and the 4 girls ran off.  I went off by myself and I started to doubt myself.  I didn't know what to do.  The girl seemed to be ignoring me.  I wanted to try to open some other sets.  I opened but didn't hook anything.  That's mostly because I was feeling uneasy so I didn't have to confidence to stay in the sets I opened.  

I kept my state pumped by dancing by myself and briefly opening a few sets.  I then started to get afraid to go back to the dance floor because I figured I'd feel shitty when some guy inevitable ended up making out with her.  

About twenty minutes later, I went back by Seagull and I told myself that I wasn't confident to steal her off some guy that was all over her, but I'd try if some guy was just talking to her or if she was just with her friends.  I remember I had gained some confidence because I had stopped her on the dance floor dancing with just one friend and no guys on her.  

I had been so unsure of myself, but then I realized that since no guy was all over her, she had to have been having a better time with me compared to being alone with her friends now.  

When I found her, some guy was talking to her.  I tapped her shoulder and the guy ran off.  Lol.  I guess I've done stuff like that too but it was funny how my mere appearance scared him off.  She then said, "Hey, where have you been?"  I played it off by saying, "Oh, I was just wandering around talking to some people.  I thought you guys left."  I then just acted as if she had never ignored me and it was still on.  

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