Wednesday, May 9, 2012
From "You're doing something wrong" to a make out
I wrote a little about Saturday. After the festival, we hit the bars and I was having a hard time getting myself to open. I think Fatty's anxiety was owning the frame as I wasn't completely comfortable in opening. I did force myself to open a few times and Fatty actually opened two girls. When we met up with 2j, I was still stalling. Seeing 2j open a set I was eyeing without hesitation helped motivate me. I started opening but I was doing something wrong. 2j tried to help by saying that I wasn't opening aggresively enough. I tried to take his advice but I still wasn't getting any sets to stick.
Looking back, my problem was that I wasn't opening with 100% belief (to use an RSD term from one of the videos). When I opened, inside, I wasn't confident that I'd get a positive response. The girls could probably sense that part of me was holding back and hedging my bets and of course, that's a turn off. Also, even when I'd get a decent response, I'd look to bail out too soon instead of plowing and waiting for the girl to really bust me out. This behavior always pisses me off cause it means that I forced myself to do the hardest part (opening), and I just waste all that by ejecting early.
Fatty got seperated from us and his phone died so I didn't meet up with him until later. 2j and I worked several bars. I got a little better at opening but nothing was sticking. I will say that the bust outs were getting me more motivated. I knew that I was better than this and I wanted to open more so I could fix my game. 2j eventually got tired and left. I was left solo since I couldn't find Fatty. I decided I was gonna press on.
As I'm wandering around the dance floor, I see two guys pass by me. I recognize this Asian guy that I met through 2j last summer. This guy is an opening machine and is very inspiring. Seeing him open made me want to step up my game. I opened a seated set and got a decent response until a friend she hadn't seen showed up. The friend introduced some guy she was with. I could have persisted in the set but I took the easy way out and ejected.
One set can change it all:
I saw Asian PUA (I don't have a nickname for him and don't know his screen names so I'll call him that) open this 3-set in the seating area. His friend was just standing around so I said I'd go wing Asian PUA. When I got up, I saw he was about to get busted out/eject but I opened one of his target's friends anyway. She had a pretty face and I was attracted.
It's funny cause I was completely sober but even when I met up with Fatty right afterwards, I couldn't
remember the exact details of the conversation. Maybe that's a good thing: it's a sign that I was actually present and in the moment. I think I opened by saying, "Hey, that's my friend. Just happened to run into him here. How do you know (Asian PUA's target)?"
My girl was holding back a bit so I touched her arm and said, "Hey, I don't bite. My cats do, but I don't."
We talked some more and realized we had a bunch of thigns in common. The eye contact was good and I felt like this was a good set. Asian PUA ejected and wanted to make sure we still had each others number. I didn't want to lost the set, so I handed him my phone and kept talking to my girl.
Shortly after Asian PUA handed me back my phone, I just asked for my target's number. I felt like it was a little miscalibrated but she complied anyway. We then kept talking. .
Later, I started to dance to the music. She danced with me but I was being weak. I was dancing like a foot away from her. I knew I was being weak so I stopped and talked so more. A few minutes later, we danced again and this time I started to take control. I said to myself, "WTF are you doing? This is weak." I grab her hand and spun her around. I worked my hands to her waist and she reciprocated by putting her hands on me. I turned her around and her ass grinding on me turned me on. I turned her back around. Our bodies were really close and we were face to face. I realized I needed to kiss her.
I give myself credit in realizing I had to make a move. I remember times in the past when I faced this situation and was too chicken to make a move. I knew how this set would end if I followed that pattern. She get frustrated that I wasn't man enough to make a move and the set would end. This time, I stroked her hair. I spun her so her back was too me. I stroked her hair away from her neck and began to blow on her neck and ear. I turned her to face me and blew into her neck and then kissed her neck. Face to face, I looked her in the eye, put my hand on the back of her neck and went in for the kiss. I pulled back for a second and went in again, and it was make out time.
I should have went for the pull:
I have to say it was a great feeling for the night to end up like this. I went from hesitating about opening to getting busted out left and right to finally being a PUA again. We had about twenty minutes together after the make out and then the lights came on. I seeded a pull idea about food and she said she was hungry. She didn't resist the idea so I could have used that as an excuse. I think the move was to tell her, "Let's go" and then get her outside. Then I could have said, "Wow, that looks like a lot of people at the pizza place. Do you have any food at your place?"
Instead, I played it safe. I want to blame the fact that I was out of touch with Fatty and the fact the he was gonna stay over as a reason I played it safe. Realistically, I probably would have played it safe even if his phone had been functional. I kept sitting by her and then her friends came by and she said, "I'm gonna leave with my friends."
I had another chance to try to pull. I told her when we parted that I'd text her so she'd have my number. I text the usual, "Get home safe" and she responded. I could have tried to invite myself over but I didn't.
This girl and I have texted a few times and she still seems into me. She's busy this week but I think we'll probably hang out next week. Still, I think in the future, I have to push for the pull. The only way to get good at pulling is to go for it, especially when the pull looks promising like it did in this case. Also, I know from past experiences that sometimes the girl changes her mind the next day and I miss out cause I didn't go for the pull to seal things between us.
This night, I was happy with the make out. Perhaps that wasn't a bad thing as I had just returned to the game. I vow to swing for the fences when in similar opportunities in the future.