Sunday, June 17, 2012
My inexperienced analysis
I'm gonna attempt to analyze what happened or should have happened this evening. I've read so much PUA theory over the years so I have some clue, but this evening events were also clouded by being from my points of view. I've said in every post I've made tonight that I have to debrief again with Nintendo but he was all high and drunk near the end so I don't know how much useful info I'm really gonna get from him.
2-set pull theory:
Every since my early days, I've understood that the easiest way to pull is supposed to be a 2-set by two wings. You both need to be cools guys and ideally both girls will have had a feel for both guys personality. When you escalate, you should try to escalate at the same pace. In a 2-set, the girls will keep looking at each other to see if the other is having a good time and if they are at the same buying temperature. If you pace it right, they'll keep seeing that the other one is comfortable and they both be comfortable with the escalation. The reaon 2-set are supposed to be easier is that supposedly they'll even let the escalation happen faster when they see the other girl's buying temperature is also getting pumped as opposed to you just being with the girl one-on one.
If one girls gets buying temperature goes up while the other girl's buying temp remains, then you get trouble. I swear that's what happened here.
Nintendo is gonna tell me that Red wasn't that into me. I'm the first one to admit that especially at the second bar, this was true. I will say that I had some good moments at the first bar. As I described in Part 2, there seemed to be a change that last time I danced up on her.
The 2-set theory was playing out as we were walking to their place. I remember Red saying something like, "I guess you guys are coming over." I took this as they had talked about smoking weed, but the girls hadn't explicitely discussed us coming over. Red said that we were walking towards their place and she was willing to go along with it.
These girls wanted to get laid:
The girls know what's up. Yeah, I think Nintendo used the weed as a reason for us to come over. The girls probably rationalized that as the reason for us to come buy or for just to hang out. At the same time, they know the deal when they meet guys that approached them to the bar and then invite them over. Girls enjoy sex as much as we do, and I'm sure they've done this before.
If we're just hanging out, why did the candle come out? It created a better mood and the girls were fine with me turning off the lights.
But you have to escalate and isolate:
I remember discusssing the failed 2-set I had with G that early morning two years ago. He said the later move was that he was tell his girl something like, "Come over here and I'll show you some pictures from Afganistain." You get the girls isolated into different moves and then you can both escalate.
I knew this move and Seagull and I had used it effectively that night of my first SNL. It was his place so he brought the girl to his bedroom. I remember it was not long after that happened that things really started getting sexual between that Polish girl and I.
I just didn't think of an isolation move while we were at the apartment tonight.
I'll say that we didn't even have a plan. I should have formulated a plan when the girls were talking about us in the bedroom that one time. I told Nintendo that we had to escalate but I didn't even mention the isolation move. The way things played out, I figured I was gonna escalate like I began to do and then if things got heated, I'd find a way to the bedroom.
I guess I could have said something like, "Do you have some of those vacation pics?" The thing is that I think the vacations I would have been interested in took place with her and her ex husband. Maybe I could have teased her about the bedroom saying, "So have you not given me the whole tour because you're bedroom is a mess?" or something playful like maybe, "Let me guess, you got a strawberry shortcake theme in your room. Don't you?"
I'll make the excuse that the girl not being totally into me was part of our problem here.
Nintendo should have been escalating also. Maybe I should have told him, let's escalate when I decided to go by Red that last time.
Maybe the target didn't matter?
I spent the majority of the time talking to Red so she probably was my best target. I could also see that she was in to Nintendo. Heck, she was more in to him at the 2nd bar for sure. When I was talking with Shorts, I instantly figured the world travel thing was a topic I'd gain traction on. Like me, she thinks a big part of the fun of going on a trip is doing all the research to plan it. She's even into frequent flyer miles.
As I said above, these girls were horny. We just screwed up at the end. I think if we just choose either girl and created the right escalation stack when we were at their place, this long ass report would have been a lay report.
I'm happy:
I wanna close by saying that I feel happy with how the night played out. It always feels great to meet a girl and then wind up at her place that same night. Yeah, it feels better to get the lay, but this was still an awesome night. I think all this time I've spent writing this 3 posts and analyzing the night (and there's more to come when I talk to 2j and Nintendo later) are gonna pay off when I'm in this situation again.
This will happen again. I just plan on playing a more dominant role in getting the girls to their place or ours in the next set.
Double Pull-At their place and then the screw up
These posts get so long as I remember too many details. I decided to break up the story into two parts. The first part was early and middle game. As we got into late game, I go into rarely travelled territory. What happened tonight has only happened two times before for me. This is pulling two girls out of a club or bar to someone's home. The first time was just before my first SNL when I got to see G pretty much lead this 2-set we met to his place. Watching him actually helped me get that SNL a few days later. He told the 2-set we were gonna get food across the street. We grabbed food to go and then he told them we could just eat it at his place. We hopped in a cab and went over to his place, but these girls kept going between wanting to do it and not. I had to do a lot of convincing in the cab myself along with G reassuring them. G said it all made sense later when I told him my girl had told me that both these girls had boyfriends yet they still wanted to make out with us.
Lesson 1, then, was be chill when you get home:
I remember this G set because when we got to his place, I was too much about trying to talk to my girl and game her. G, on the other hand, sat on the couch and ate his food. His analysis later was I needed to just chill a bit. He was right, plus he has experience with pulling a lot of hotties, and he said he'd always pull back a little when he first got back to his place so the girls wouldn't feel pressured.
The only other time I did a double pull was that glorious New Years Day 2010. That was uninque in that we pulled girls that didn't know each other. Seagull pulled some college girl that was in town with some friends and I pulled this smart Polish business woman. That G lesson was fresh in my head and I remember going to the restroom,drinking some water, and then chatting with everyone before I actually sat down next to my girl.
I knew I had to be esepcially chill here cause Red wasn't totally into me where that Polish girl had been.
I had to piss so I used the bathroom as soon as I got in. I came out and sat down in this chair. Nintendo and Shorts were talking about turning on some music. Shorts when to set up her computer, and I saw Red fixing herself a drink. I went over by her. She was pouring some vodka into a glass. I said, "Lol, you give me shit about drinking vodka and look at what you're drinking." She poured some Kaulua and said, "I'm making a White Russian." I grabbed the glass from her and said, "Thank you." She said, don't drink that without cream. I replied, "I can't have any." She realized I was lactose intolerant. I gave her back the drink and asked for some Kahlua and poured myself a drink.
Dancing and girl talk:
The three of them started to smoke weed as the music was playing and as we all tooks turns dancing to the music. At some point, they started to smoke weed. Red had mentioned that Nintendo and the girl were gonna smoke as we were walking back. She asked if I smoked and I said, "I don't, but I don't judge."
I danced by Red a few times. She was still pulling back a bit. Later, we were dancing together, and I started to pull back from her. I guess I have some good moves as I noticed when I did then, it made her start moving towards me. Funny how that works!
At one point, Shorts brought a candle that we could light. Red then grabbed a candle from her room. I went and shut the lights off as I was dancing. Now, this was getting things into the right mood.
I remember the girls going off to the bedroom. I told Nintendo, "Lol, you know they are talking about us." Nintendo said, "Man, I'm fucked up. This is awesome though. I have no outcome dependency." I replied, "Yeah, this is crazy. I thought the set was over and then somehow you got them to let us in."
(I should mention that I just remembered a good moment. We were at the front door and Shorts was hesitating. She said to Red, "Should we invite them in?" I just sat there trying not to look needy or look like I wanted it too much. Nintendo said, "We can go or stay. If you want us to come in, we'll come in or we can go." Those weren't his exact words but I remember thinking what he said was perfect and she replied, "Okay, come up but take your shoes off.")
I remember telling Nintendo that we needed to escalate. Thinking back, I think I should have told him, "One, or both of us have to figure out an excuse to isolate a girl to the bedroom." Well, that or at least we should be isolated with our girls and making moves.
Just as I feel Red is finally into me..:
When we were talking about what happened as we were walking back to the strip of bars, Nintendo seemed too focused on the situation earlier. I told him he was right that Red wasn't into me early and actually was more into him. I really felt like I turned it around as I'm gonna describe in a second. I'll do a better debrief Sunday when he's sober.
It was dark and candlelit. A song was playing. Nintendo and the other girl were on the other side of the room and not next to each other. I actually don't even know what Nintendo was doing at this exact moment, but I'm gonna ask him today. Red was dancing in front of this countertop. Her ass was wiggling and I decided I was gonna try escalating again. I walked up behind her. I started dancing with the music and slowly moved towards her. As she felt me get close, she pressed her ass against me. She had done this several times through out the night, but usually, she'd rub on me for about 5-10 seconds at most and then turn around or pull back.
This time, she didn't pull back. I noticed she was reacting different. Her arms were raised, and I lifted my arms up and touched the back of her hands with my palms. I grabbed her hands and our bodies were beginning to move in rhythem. I released her hands and drew my fingers slowly down her arms with the feathering finger feel. I was generating that feeling by my fingers barely touching her skin. I'm actually doing it to myself as I write this so I can try to describe it. That light touch sends pleasureable waves and she was liking it. I knew she was. She hadn't allowed me to be up on her for this long until now.
I was really thinking this was it. It was finally fucking on. I was thinking about how I was gonna draw her hair back, and lean into the side of her neck and gently blow air into her neck and ear. Then, I'd maybe bite her neck gently and tease her with some quick kisses. I'd turn her around. I'd either just go for an immediate make out, or I would have just pressed my body into her so either my leg or my croctch was stimulating her nether regions.
Instead...
I saw the lights turn on. Shorts had turn the light on. I remember as I looked up as this was a sudden jolt and state break. I remember seeing Shorts by the light switch and Nintendo was standing about halfway between her and us. If I had to say what he had been doing, I think he had been dancing in that area.
"You guys have to leave now," Shorts said very loudly. (I wanted to type "yelled" but she wasn't screaming but it was loud enough that I could hear it over the music. I definitely felt like she was mad. That was my read.)
I swear my face had that "Huh?" look on it.
Shorts said, "Sorry, but she has to get up early."
Nintendo said, "Ok" and was putting his shoes on.
I turned to Red and said, "Come walk me out."
Shorts and Nintendo started walking down the stairs. I pulled out my phone and said to Red, "Well, I had fun. I enjoyed hanging out with you guys." I think she smiled. I said, "Here, punch in your number."
I stood on the top of the stairs tying my shoes. Red handed me the phone with a number punched in which I hope is real even though I'm not sure the mood will be the same when I try to contact her again.
The door shut and we started to walk back towards the bar.
"What the fuck happened?" questioned Nintendo.
This is when we tried to figure out what happened. Nintendo kept getting interruptted by some girl calling him that sounded like a FB.
We both agreed that it was cool either way. Yeah, the ending sucked but we had a blast. We had a blast Friday, which is the first time we really hung out together. Now, the second night, we get into a long two set and we end up at their apartment. It's obvious that this is just the beginning of some wild, sex filled, summer nights too come. I'm beginning to believe.
"The bars are still open. LET'S FUCKING GO BACK AND GETTING ANOTHER TWO SET!" I yelled.
I wonder how I can even be the depressed person I have been at times in the past. I'm like an eternal optimist when I'm in sarging mode. Rather than feel shitty when we had just lost this set, I really wanted to give it another shot.
We hit up some sets at the after hours bars but the picking were slim. I got some validation from this chubby 3-set. I opened them and the one girl kept telling me to buy them drinks. I tried to change the subject and she woudln't get off it and told me to go away. I ended up talking to this cool girl who was really knowledgeable about art. I tried to number close her but she said she was dating someone. As I'm walking out, I see two of the chubby girls. I said, "Hey guys." The chubby blonde said to me, "You are so cute and nice and I was so mean to you." She touched my face and said, "You are so cute." I just said, "Thank you."
Obviously she was into me but she had told me inside that she was married. I said, "Are you really married?" She lifted up her ring finger, showed me the ring and replied, "I'm engaged but I'm getting married in a few weeks." I then put my arm around the other girl and started talking to her. The engaged girl asked her friend, "Don't you wanna make out with a cute Filipino guy?"
She said it twice. I'd like to say that I made out with her, but she didn't want to. I wonder if she was doing that low self esteem stuff that I've done in the past. Maybe she wasn't into me like the married girl had become, but she also could have been into me and was afraid I'd reject her if she said yes.
I then walked to my car as I couldn't reach Nintendo. I figured he went to the FB or took the train home when I was in that Art set for like 10 minutes.
I gotta say that I followed through on what I wrote Friday. I saw this really trashed blonde and this short pale girl at this bar near my car. I was gonna walk right by but I said, "Fuck it" and opened them. The blonde looked like she was more than drunk, like she was on roofies or Xanax or something as she could barely stay conscious against this wall. The pale girl wanted me to go in and tell the guy friends to bring out the purse. Then, she went in to do this cause I wouldn't. I tried talking to the blonde but she was too out of it.
I decided to leave as that set was just a waste of time. Tonight, I gave my best shot and kept trying even after a bit of success. I loved how I pushed to the end!
Lesson 1, then, was be chill when you get home:
I remember this G set because when we got to his place, I was too much about trying to talk to my girl and game her. G, on the other hand, sat on the couch and ate his food. His analysis later was I needed to just chill a bit. He was right, plus he has experience with pulling a lot of hotties, and he said he'd always pull back a little when he first got back to his place so the girls wouldn't feel pressured.
The only other time I did a double pull was that glorious New Years Day 2010. That was uninque in that we pulled girls that didn't know each other. Seagull pulled some college girl that was in town with some friends and I pulled this smart Polish business woman. That G lesson was fresh in my head and I remember going to the restroom,drinking some water, and then chatting with everyone before I actually sat down next to my girl.
I knew I had to be esepcially chill here cause Red wasn't totally into me where that Polish girl had been.
I had to piss so I used the bathroom as soon as I got in. I came out and sat down in this chair. Nintendo and Shorts were talking about turning on some music. Shorts when to set up her computer, and I saw Red fixing herself a drink. I went over by her. She was pouring some vodka into a glass. I said, "Lol, you give me shit about drinking vodka and look at what you're drinking." She poured some Kaulua and said, "I'm making a White Russian." I grabbed the glass from her and said, "Thank you." She said, don't drink that without cream. I replied, "I can't have any." She realized I was lactose intolerant. I gave her back the drink and asked for some Kahlua and poured myself a drink.
Dancing and girl talk:
The three of them started to smoke weed as the music was playing and as we all tooks turns dancing to the music. At some point, they started to smoke weed. Red had mentioned that Nintendo and the girl were gonna smoke as we were walking back. She asked if I smoked and I said, "I don't, but I don't judge."
I danced by Red a few times. She was still pulling back a bit. Later, we were dancing together, and I started to pull back from her. I guess I have some good moves as I noticed when I did then, it made her start moving towards me. Funny how that works!
At one point, Shorts brought a candle that we could light. Red then grabbed a candle from her room. I went and shut the lights off as I was dancing. Now, this was getting things into the right mood.
I remember the girls going off to the bedroom. I told Nintendo, "Lol, you know they are talking about us." Nintendo said, "Man, I'm fucked up. This is awesome though. I have no outcome dependency." I replied, "Yeah, this is crazy. I thought the set was over and then somehow you got them to let us in."
(I should mention that I just remembered a good moment. We were at the front door and Shorts was hesitating. She said to Red, "Should we invite them in?" I just sat there trying not to look needy or look like I wanted it too much. Nintendo said, "We can go or stay. If you want us to come in, we'll come in or we can go." Those weren't his exact words but I remember thinking what he said was perfect and she replied, "Okay, come up but take your shoes off.")
I remember telling Nintendo that we needed to escalate. Thinking back, I think I should have told him, "One, or both of us have to figure out an excuse to isolate a girl to the bedroom." Well, that or at least we should be isolated with our girls and making moves.
Just as I feel Red is finally into me..:
When we were talking about what happened as we were walking back to the strip of bars, Nintendo seemed too focused on the situation earlier. I told him he was right that Red wasn't into me early and actually was more into him. I really felt like I turned it around as I'm gonna describe in a second. I'll do a better debrief Sunday when he's sober.
It was dark and candlelit. A song was playing. Nintendo and the other girl were on the other side of the room and not next to each other. I actually don't even know what Nintendo was doing at this exact moment, but I'm gonna ask him today. Red was dancing in front of this countertop. Her ass was wiggling and I decided I was gonna try escalating again. I walked up behind her. I started dancing with the music and slowly moved towards her. As she felt me get close, she pressed her ass against me. She had done this several times through out the night, but usually, she'd rub on me for about 5-10 seconds at most and then turn around or pull back.
This time, she didn't pull back. I noticed she was reacting different. Her arms were raised, and I lifted my arms up and touched the back of her hands with my palms. I grabbed her hands and our bodies were beginning to move in rhythem. I released her hands and drew my fingers slowly down her arms with the feathering finger feel. I was generating that feeling by my fingers barely touching her skin. I'm actually doing it to myself as I write this so I can try to describe it. That light touch sends pleasureable waves and she was liking it. I knew she was. She hadn't allowed me to be up on her for this long until now.
I was really thinking this was it. It was finally fucking on. I was thinking about how I was gonna draw her hair back, and lean into the side of her neck and gently blow air into her neck and ear. Then, I'd maybe bite her neck gently and tease her with some quick kisses. I'd turn her around. I'd either just go for an immediate make out, or I would have just pressed my body into her so either my leg or my croctch was stimulating her nether regions.
Instead...
I saw the lights turn on. Shorts had turn the light on. I remember as I looked up as this was a sudden jolt and state break. I remember seeing Shorts by the light switch and Nintendo was standing about halfway between her and us. If I had to say what he had been doing, I think he had been dancing in that area.
"You guys have to leave now," Shorts said very loudly. (I wanted to type "yelled" but she wasn't screaming but it was loud enough that I could hear it over the music. I definitely felt like she was mad. That was my read.)
I swear my face had that "Huh?" look on it.
Shorts said, "Sorry, but she has to get up early."
Nintendo said, "Ok" and was putting his shoes on.
I turned to Red and said, "Come walk me out."
Shorts and Nintendo started walking down the stairs. I pulled out my phone and said to Red, "Well, I had fun. I enjoyed hanging out with you guys." I think she smiled. I said, "Here, punch in your number."
I stood on the top of the stairs tying my shoes. Red handed me the phone with a number punched in which I hope is real even though I'm not sure the mood will be the same when I try to contact her again.
The door shut and we started to walk back towards the bar.
"What the fuck happened?" questioned Nintendo.
This is when we tried to figure out what happened. Nintendo kept getting interruptted by some girl calling him that sounded like a FB.
We both agreed that it was cool either way. Yeah, the ending sucked but we had a blast. We had a blast Friday, which is the first time we really hung out together. Now, the second night, we get into a long two set and we end up at their apartment. It's obvious that this is just the beginning of some wild, sex filled, summer nights too come. I'm beginning to believe.
"The bars are still open. LET'S FUCKING GO BACK AND GETTING ANOTHER TWO SET!" I yelled.
I wonder how I can even be the depressed person I have been at times in the past. I'm like an eternal optimist when I'm in sarging mode. Rather than feel shitty when we had just lost this set, I really wanted to give it another shot.
We hit up some sets at the after hours bars but the picking were slim. I got some validation from this chubby 3-set. I opened them and the one girl kept telling me to buy them drinks. I tried to change the subject and she woudln't get off it and told me to go away. I ended up talking to this cool girl who was really knowledgeable about art. I tried to number close her but she said she was dating someone. As I'm walking out, I see two of the chubby girls. I said, "Hey guys." The chubby blonde said to me, "You are so cute and nice and I was so mean to you." She touched my face and said, "You are so cute." I just said, "Thank you."
Obviously she was into me but she had told me inside that she was married. I said, "Are you really married?" She lifted up her ring finger, showed me the ring and replied, "I'm engaged but I'm getting married in a few weeks." I then put my arm around the other girl and started talking to her. The engaged girl asked her friend, "Don't you wanna make out with a cute Filipino guy?"
She said it twice. I'd like to say that I made out with her, but she didn't want to. I wonder if she was doing that low self esteem stuff that I've done in the past. Maybe she wasn't into me like the married girl had become, but she also could have been into me and was afraid I'd reject her if she said yes.
I then walked to my car as I couldn't reach Nintendo. I figured he went to the FB or took the train home when I was in that Art set for like 10 minutes.
I gotta say that I followed through on what I wrote Friday. I saw this really trashed blonde and this short pale girl at this bar near my car. I was gonna walk right by but I said, "Fuck it" and opened them. The blonde looked like she was more than drunk, like she was on roofies or Xanax or something as she could barely stay conscious against this wall. The pale girl wanted me to go in and tell the guy friends to bring out the purse. Then, she went in to do this cause I wouldn't. I tried talking to the blonde but she was too out of it.
I decided to leave as that set was just a waste of time. Tonight, I gave my best shot and kept trying even after a bit of success. I loved how I pushed to the end!
Double pull Part 1: Opening to walking to their place
I've been having a good week but part of me needed some result to prove to myself that I'm actually living the PUA lifestyle. Yes, you shouldn't worry too much about results, but after awhile it feels good to experience some. The title is somewhat deceptive but I didn't put the "fuck up" part in the title cause I'm not feeling that pain that I often feel when a set gets screwed up late. I don't feel like I did last Saturday when I messed up that pull.
I started the night by meeting up with some college friends. I definitely have insane social momentum now because before Nintendo even showed up, I was dancing up on girls downstairs while completely sober. What a difference between me at Famous Freddies a month ago and me tonight.
Nintendo showed up and he opened one set at this bar but there really wasn't anything else. We walked across the street and opened this seated 2-set. We had a great time just talking to the girls. Nintendo has excellent group game. He kept saying stuff that would make both girls and I laugh. I'm sure some of it is the vibe but it's definitely a skill I lack. I think back to what Sidegames said about me years ago: I'm good with stories. I can get laughs when I recount some interesting thing that happened to me, but I'm not good with spontaneous comments about randoms stuff to generate laughs.
At one point, I build up some good rapport with the girl I was talking two who I'll call "Red." I was happy with the way things broke down cause of course I love redheads. Nintendo seemed focused on the girl with shorts who I'll call "Shorts." Maybe I screwed up with moment. I was seated and she was standing next to me. I put my arm around her and we were gazing into each others eyes. It felt like a kiss close moment, and if I had been drunk I think I probably would have kissed her, but I wasn't sure about doing it now because we weren't isolated. Even if I didn't kiss close, I think I could have improved about the moment by stroking her face.
When they say they have to go...
Nintendo, fortunately, has a strength that complements my weakness. We were in the set for over an hour. I was trying to figure out what the next move was with these girls. My mind thought maybe we could try for drinks at their place but before I had to come to a decision, or likely indecision, Nintendo talked about going to the after hours place down the street. Red said she had to wake up early for work. The conversation drifted again, and then everyone closed out the tabs. Nintendo mentioned the after hours.
I can give myself some credit as I at least did something valuable. It had been raining all night and still was at this moment. Red said, "I don't know about walking down the block, I don't wanna get soaked." Before she said this, I had seen these free newspapers by the entrance and I planned on using them to avoid getting wet. I said, "I already figured that out" and I brought the newspapers over. She kept making jokes about the paper later and appreciated my move.
What's needy and what's persistent?
Here's my ADD kicking in. As I'm writing this, I decided to do a search on the rsdnation.com forums to get some theory on what's the difference between being persistent and needy? I think part of me fears persisting cause I'm afraid of being needy and then I just end up losing the set.
It's funny that I was actually there as this venue changed happened and I'm still trying to analyze what happened. I haven't read the links but I'm thinking that needy would be begging them, "Come on. Please come."
I think the move I have to ingrain in my head is that the girls closed their check and Nintendo said, "Okay, let's go to that bar," and he started leading his girl out the door. I suppose it's exactly like when you want to lead a girl to another part of the club. You grab her hand and you say, "Let's go to (the bar, the dance floor, whatever)" and you start leading her. If she holds your hand like a dead fish, then you drop her hand but you start walking like you expect her to follow. I did this the other day when I got these girls at Lion Head to go upstairs. I had to drop her hand, but I remember turning around to check to make sure they were following. One girls stalled and I said, "Let's go" and waved them over and they came upstairs.
Red's not into me and it seems like we're switching targets:
I had that moment with Red but she seemed to not be into me during the venue change. I'm wondering if I should have went outside with her when she went to smoke. If things had been more on, I think I would have as I know it's easy isolation. In this case, I didn't want to stand in the rain and be around smoke. I figured I'd blow out any guy that might sarge her so I was cool with hanging at the table.
I tried to get her to sit down next to me but she was in high energy mode and kept dancing to the music. A few times I went to dance with her but she kept pulling back when I tried to escalate.
One time, she started to run off and said she was checking out the back. I'll give myself some credit for just deciding to go with her. She stopped in front of this Latino dude that had complimented her outside and started dancing by him. I let her do it for 5 seconds, then I came over and pulled her away. In back, I tried to get her to sit down and get isolation but she said she didn't want to sit. She wanted to do shots and I agreed. Part of me didn't want to but I felt I would be breaking the vibe too much. I did keep the frame when she tried to mess with me. She gave me shit about doing a vodka shot and I know a chump would change what he was getting. Fuck that. I'll get what I want.
At one point, Nintendo started talking to Red. She was dancing more enthusiastically with him. I told Nintendo that she must like Latino guys. I started talking to Shorts. Shorts was actually cool. She's travelled the world so we had a ton to talk about. I did some minor kino escalation by touching her hand, but I couldn't do much as I was sitting across the table. I was thinking maybe I should say, "I can't hear you well" and used that as an excuse to sit next to her.
I was cool with switching targets, but the indecision here I think hurt us later. I knew I wasn't Red's type, but I knew with 2-set theory that if we did this right, she'd be happy to mess around with me.
We have to go home:
Here is where I really need the debrief. It FUCKING AMAZES me that we wound up at their apartment. (I forgot to mention that Shorts and Red were roommates). Just as we're having confusion with the targets and I'm talking to Shorts, the girls mention that they have to go, again cause Red has to get up early. Red wanders off to say bye to that Latino guy she danced by. Nintendo starts talking to Shorts.
I think it had something to do with smoking weed. I remember Nintendo telling me, "I'm pretty sure this girl wants to fuck me so you go for the girl with white pants (Red). We're gonna go smoke with these girls."
I remember Nintendo talking to Shorts and having his arm around her. Someone mentions grabbing the friend so I go over and grab Red. Since I knew she wasn't that into me, I grabbed her arm and said, "Your friend is looking for you" and then lead her out.
We start walking up the road. I'm walking with Red and Nintendo and Shorts are ahead of us. There's this big black dude talking on the phone in front of one of the other bars and drunk Red stops and starts dancing in front of him. She says, "Come on, show me what you've got. Show me your moves." He's just laughing at her. I'm laughing too but then I put my arm around her and say, "Your friend is up there. Let's go."
Finally, when we turn the corner at this big intersection, she starts being less standoffish. I put my arm around her for a bit as I put the newspaper over her to keep her dry. She says her feet her and I give her a piggy back ride for about two blocks till I get tired, but fortunately we're close to their place at that point.
Before I go on, I have to get back to the point of my weakness. When the girls said "We're going" I figured this shit was over. I'm so dumb that I hadn't even number closed and we would have just lost the set there. That's basically what happened last Saturday, except that girl gave me her number without me asking.
Again, it AMAZES me that I'm thinking the set is over and then suddenly, Nintendo talks to the girl for like 30 seconds and we're heading to their place.
I can't rely on my wing to do this. I need to pick up on this skill cause I need to lead on solo sets and I shouldn't rely on my wing to do shit for me.
(As I'm writing this, I think about how Seagull and I extracted these blacks girls to food last year and I guess I need to remember how I've been when I've pulled and be that guy when the time comes again in the future.)
I started the night by meeting up with some college friends. I definitely have insane social momentum now because before Nintendo even showed up, I was dancing up on girls downstairs while completely sober. What a difference between me at Famous Freddies a month ago and me tonight.
Nintendo showed up and he opened one set at this bar but there really wasn't anything else. We walked across the street and opened this seated 2-set. We had a great time just talking to the girls. Nintendo has excellent group game. He kept saying stuff that would make both girls and I laugh. I'm sure some of it is the vibe but it's definitely a skill I lack. I think back to what Sidegames said about me years ago: I'm good with stories. I can get laughs when I recount some interesting thing that happened to me, but I'm not good with spontaneous comments about randoms stuff to generate laughs.
At one point, I build up some good rapport with the girl I was talking two who I'll call "Red." I was happy with the way things broke down cause of course I love redheads. Nintendo seemed focused on the girl with shorts who I'll call "Shorts." Maybe I screwed up with moment. I was seated and she was standing next to me. I put my arm around her and we were gazing into each others eyes. It felt like a kiss close moment, and if I had been drunk I think I probably would have kissed her, but I wasn't sure about doing it now because we weren't isolated. Even if I didn't kiss close, I think I could have improved about the moment by stroking her face.
When they say they have to go...
Nintendo, fortunately, has a strength that complements my weakness. We were in the set for over an hour. I was trying to figure out what the next move was with these girls. My mind thought maybe we could try for drinks at their place but before I had to come to a decision, or likely indecision, Nintendo talked about going to the after hours place down the street. Red said she had to wake up early for work. The conversation drifted again, and then everyone closed out the tabs. Nintendo mentioned the after hours.
I can give myself some credit as I at least did something valuable. It had been raining all night and still was at this moment. Red said, "I don't know about walking down the block, I don't wanna get soaked." Before she said this, I had seen these free newspapers by the entrance and I planned on using them to avoid getting wet. I said, "I already figured that out" and I brought the newspapers over. She kept making jokes about the paper later and appreciated my move.
What's needy and what's persistent?
Here's my ADD kicking in. As I'm writing this, I decided to do a search on the rsdnation.com forums to get some theory on what's the difference between being persistent and needy? I think part of me fears persisting cause I'm afraid of being needy and then I just end up losing the set.
It's funny that I was actually there as this venue changed happened and I'm still trying to analyze what happened. I haven't read the links but I'm thinking that needy would be begging them, "Come on. Please come."
I think the move I have to ingrain in my head is that the girls closed their check and Nintendo said, "Okay, let's go to that bar," and he started leading his girl out the door. I suppose it's exactly like when you want to lead a girl to another part of the club. You grab her hand and you say, "Let's go to (the bar, the dance floor, whatever)" and you start leading her. If she holds your hand like a dead fish, then you drop her hand but you start walking like you expect her to follow. I did this the other day when I got these girls at Lion Head to go upstairs. I had to drop her hand, but I remember turning around to check to make sure they were following. One girls stalled and I said, "Let's go" and waved them over and they came upstairs.
Red's not into me and it seems like we're switching targets:
I had that moment with Red but she seemed to not be into me during the venue change. I'm wondering if I should have went outside with her when she went to smoke. If things had been more on, I think I would have as I know it's easy isolation. In this case, I didn't want to stand in the rain and be around smoke. I figured I'd blow out any guy that might sarge her so I was cool with hanging at the table.
I tried to get her to sit down next to me but she was in high energy mode and kept dancing to the music. A few times I went to dance with her but she kept pulling back when I tried to escalate.
One time, she started to run off and said she was checking out the back. I'll give myself some credit for just deciding to go with her. She stopped in front of this Latino dude that had complimented her outside and started dancing by him. I let her do it for 5 seconds, then I came over and pulled her away. In back, I tried to get her to sit down and get isolation but she said she didn't want to sit. She wanted to do shots and I agreed. Part of me didn't want to but I felt I would be breaking the vibe too much. I did keep the frame when she tried to mess with me. She gave me shit about doing a vodka shot and I know a chump would change what he was getting. Fuck that. I'll get what I want.
At one point, Nintendo started talking to Red. She was dancing more enthusiastically with him. I told Nintendo that she must like Latino guys. I started talking to Shorts. Shorts was actually cool. She's travelled the world so we had a ton to talk about. I did some minor kino escalation by touching her hand, but I couldn't do much as I was sitting across the table. I was thinking maybe I should say, "I can't hear you well" and used that as an excuse to sit next to her.
I was cool with switching targets, but the indecision here I think hurt us later. I knew I wasn't Red's type, but I knew with 2-set theory that if we did this right, she'd be happy to mess around with me.
We have to go home:
Here is where I really need the debrief. It FUCKING AMAZES me that we wound up at their apartment. (I forgot to mention that Shorts and Red were roommates). Just as we're having confusion with the targets and I'm talking to Shorts, the girls mention that they have to go, again cause Red has to get up early. Red wanders off to say bye to that Latino guy she danced by. Nintendo starts talking to Shorts.
I think it had something to do with smoking weed. I remember Nintendo telling me, "I'm pretty sure this girl wants to fuck me so you go for the girl with white pants (Red). We're gonna go smoke with these girls."
I remember Nintendo talking to Shorts and having his arm around her. Someone mentions grabbing the friend so I go over and grab Red. Since I knew she wasn't that into me, I grabbed her arm and said, "Your friend is looking for you" and then lead her out.
We start walking up the road. I'm walking with Red and Nintendo and Shorts are ahead of us. There's this big black dude talking on the phone in front of one of the other bars and drunk Red stops and starts dancing in front of him. She says, "Come on, show me what you've got. Show me your moves." He's just laughing at her. I'm laughing too but then I put my arm around her and say, "Your friend is up there. Let's go."
Finally, when we turn the corner at this big intersection, she starts being less standoffish. I put my arm around her for a bit as I put the newspaper over her to keep her dry. She says her feet her and I give her a piggy back ride for about two blocks till I get tired, but fortunately we're close to their place at that point.
Before I go on, I have to get back to the point of my weakness. When the girls said "We're going" I figured this shit was over. I'm so dumb that I hadn't even number closed and we would have just lost the set there. That's basically what happened last Saturday, except that girl gave me her number without me asking.
Again, it AMAZES me that I'm thinking the set is over and then suddenly, Nintendo talks to the girl for like 30 seconds and we're heading to their place.
I can't rely on my wing to do this. I need to pick up on this skill cause I need to lead on solo sets and I shouldn't rely on my wing to do shit for me.
(As I'm writing this, I think about how Seagull and I extracted these blacks girls to food last year and I guess I need to remember how I've been when I've pulled and be that guy when the time comes again in the future.)
Saturday, June 16, 2012
The Answer is TD's "PUA Batting Average" article/videos
http://www.rsdnation.com/tyler/blog/2-important-new-vids-1-greatest-success-barrier-entire-pua-community-and-how-immediately-?#comment-839219
I'm in the middle of watching the second video. I'm about halfway through where he talked about pulling a stunner after 6 hours of getting totally destroyed. I then thought about how I quit early tonight. Nintendo went home, and I still kept trying but when the bar closed, instead of going to after hours, I just went home. Now granted, I have gone out everyday since Tuesday and even Friday, I went to after hours, but I haven't stayed to the bitter end like I was doing last year. Part of me justifies it as being a waste of time, but late night is when those quick pull opportunites arise. I have to believe that I am more able to take advantage of it now. I vow to try to stay out to the bitter end Saturday.
These videos also helped me remember that sarging is fun. I had fun with Nintendo. I noticed we get amused by some funny shit. I opened some girl with a white dress and tried to open by saying, "Hey, that looks like a wedding dress." Before I could finish up with what I planned as a follow up, she turned away and walked to her friends. I told Nintendo that I busted out with that line and he said, "I should go up and say the same thing." I busted out laughing and he went up and did it. Of course, he got blown out but it was hilarious.
When I wrote the last entry about "I suck," I guess I forgot about all the fun I've had this past week. I guess I forgot how the nights used to be when I really was a newbie at this. I even forgot two Saturdays ago when I went out solo for the first time and was having a rough time.
Sure, I wish I were getting laid more, but now I again see the big picture. I know if I keep going out and doing what I've been doing, results are gonna come. I'm gonna have a blast and I know I will experience things I thought could only happen in my dreams.
In closing, this self doubt stuff was bullshit, but it has been useful in getting my frame back on track.
Number closed but I suck
I can tell that I'm starting to want the lay too much again but I know is gonna hurt my result. Well, maybe it will force me to escalate faster and more aggressively. At the very least, I should try to see Latina nurse this week and hopefully hook up.
I went out tonight with this new wing I'm gonna call Nintendo cause his name reminds me of the old Nintendo Power magazine. He's actually cool and he hits up sets aggresively. I opened this 2-set early on and he did a good job holding the friend's attention. I ended up number closing her cause it was early and we wanted to try other sets and other venues.
I don't know if I was supposed to stay longer in this set. I suppose number closing is better than just leaving like I've foolishly down with some early sets recently. It's also better to just number close if I fear it's gonna stall out like this Moe's Cantina set on Saturday.
The other highlight of the night was I met this girl from Minnesota. She seemed to be high buying temperature. I was all up on here. Nintendo was talking to the friend but this guy was spinning the friend around. I just kept talking to mine, but then one of the guys spun my girl away from me. I never just give up like that so I opened her again. I remember Nintendo saying, "Let's go." Of course, anytime there's competition, I want to game even harder. I said, "Fuck these guys." I had her attention again. I had my arm around her when this dude try to put her arm around her and he said, "This is my girlfriend." I just laughed. I used TD's old, "Nice shirt man, I had one like it in high school" and just ignored him.
Nintendo started talking to the guy while I was in set. The problem is that she wandered off with her blonde friend and they started talking to some other dude. Nintendo believed the high school shirt guy that he was with the girls, but I still think the girls weren't, especially cause the girls wandered off. I tried one more time to open my girl but this time she blew me off so we left.
I suck but what other option do I have?
Again, I realize I'm being hard on myself, but I do feel frustrated when I go home yet again with no girl. I know I gave my best effort. I opened every set that I wanted with the exception of a few moving sets that walked by us on the street. I opened some sets aggresively and got some early positive responses.
Yeah, it sucks that I do so much and still didn't get any lays recently, but I have to think of the alternative. If I just don't go out, or if I go out and don't take as much action, I'd get even worse results. I started going out hard core again two Thursdays ago and I've made great strides in my game compared to that Thursday. I made out with two girls and probably should have hooked up with that one last Saturday. When I just ran shit openers and went out twice I week, I got a lucky make out a few weeks ago and that Day 2, but most of the nights were even worse than what I'm complaining about here.
I need to just keep going out and letting myself loose. I love not having regrets about failing to take action. I'll focus on taking more action and being more aggresive. I feel like some of these sets that were on early could have been turned into quick make outs if I pushed things properly instead of just talking about the usual BS I talk about when a girl isn't that into me.
I was thinking what I thought about last night. If I'm up on a girl and she's comfortable with me having my arms around her waist, she probably really close to being ready to kiss me.
I went out tonight with this new wing I'm gonna call Nintendo cause his name reminds me of the old Nintendo Power magazine. He's actually cool and he hits up sets aggresively. I opened this 2-set early on and he did a good job holding the friend's attention. I ended up number closing her cause it was early and we wanted to try other sets and other venues.
I don't know if I was supposed to stay longer in this set. I suppose number closing is better than just leaving like I've foolishly down with some early sets recently. It's also better to just number close if I fear it's gonna stall out like this Moe's Cantina set on Saturday.
The other highlight of the night was I met this girl from Minnesota. She seemed to be high buying temperature. I was all up on here. Nintendo was talking to the friend but this guy was spinning the friend around. I just kept talking to mine, but then one of the guys spun my girl away from me. I never just give up like that so I opened her again. I remember Nintendo saying, "Let's go." Of course, anytime there's competition, I want to game even harder. I said, "Fuck these guys." I had her attention again. I had my arm around her when this dude try to put her arm around her and he said, "This is my girlfriend." I just laughed. I used TD's old, "Nice shirt man, I had one like it in high school" and just ignored him.
Nintendo started talking to the guy while I was in set. The problem is that she wandered off with her blonde friend and they started talking to some other dude. Nintendo believed the high school shirt guy that he was with the girls, but I still think the girls weren't, especially cause the girls wandered off. I tried one more time to open my girl but this time she blew me off so we left.
I suck but what other option do I have?
Again, I realize I'm being hard on myself, but I do feel frustrated when I go home yet again with no girl. I know I gave my best effort. I opened every set that I wanted with the exception of a few moving sets that walked by us on the street. I opened some sets aggresively and got some early positive responses.
Yeah, it sucks that I do so much and still didn't get any lays recently, but I have to think of the alternative. If I just don't go out, or if I go out and don't take as much action, I'd get even worse results. I started going out hard core again two Thursdays ago and I've made great strides in my game compared to that Thursday. I made out with two girls and probably should have hooked up with that one last Saturday. When I just ran shit openers and went out twice I week, I got a lucky make out a few weeks ago and that Day 2, but most of the nights were even worse than what I'm complaining about here.
I need to just keep going out and letting myself loose. I love not having regrets about failing to take action. I'll focus on taking more action and being more aggresive. I feel like some of these sets that were on early could have been turned into quick make outs if I pushed things properly instead of just talking about the usual BS I talk about when a girl isn't that into me.
I was thinking what I thought about last night. If I'm up on a girl and she's comfortable with me having my arms around her waist, she probably really close to being ready to kiss me.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Gave it my best but need to step up even more
I was afraid that I was gonna feel a letdown today because it was likely that I wasn't gonna duplicate Wednesday. I ran into 2j and he made it sound like I was even more aggressive than I remember on Wed. He said I was going up hard on 9's with physicality and entitlement.
Tonight is probably a good opportunity to learn the old sports adage that I've mentioned before: it's not whether you win or lose, but how you played the game. Well, in sarging, if I gave my best effort, then if I go home alone or no make outs or anything happened, I should still be happy with the night.
I felt like I was giving my best effort early on. I hit up the few sets that were there. I approached the sets that went on the dance floor and danced with them even though I knew everyone in the club would see this going down. I approached this bachelorette set with some really hot girls, like maybe the hottest ones I've seen all week. I forced myself to approach this tall blonde in that set twice even though I was a little intimidated.
Small successes:
I did have a little success. I went downstairs to take a piss and I saw this two set standing by the bathroom. I opened them when I came out and they were really receptive. After talking for a few minutes, I told them that they should come upstairs. The cute blonde told me she didn't even know there was an upstairs. This was a brief moment where I was leading in the way that I need to when I move girls around and also when I'm going for the pull. I was leading by being firm and assertive but not being needy. I was leading them in the way I would when I expected someone to follow me.
I got upstairs and I starting dancing in between them. I could tell the blonde was more drunk and she was cuter, so I started to dance up on her. She was looking into my eyes and I felt it was on, but then she started to tell me that she couldn't kiss me because she had a boyfriend. It was frustrating, but I really felt like she was into me but not enough to want to forget about the boyfriend. She was cool with me being up on her but then after protesting for about 20 seconds, she pulled back. I guess I should have went for the friend.
The other set I was happy with was a sidewalk set I opened as I was leaving the bar. I lost state near the end of the night. I think it was because I had hit up every set and had even returned to several sets. I saw this tall brunette with some guys she was into and wished it was me. I had seen these black dudes be successful with these blondes and I think it was them that I later saw on Division making out with some hot blondes. I was trying to be positive when I saw these two cuties standing on the sidewalk.
Part of me wanted to walk by and not approach, but almost on autopilot, I turned to them as I got close. I listened again to this Tyler talk about being congruent to your state. As I was a little down, I didn't try to fake being in high energy mode like I might of the past. I just opened, and I felt I was a little quieter than I normally would have been. I was surprised that the set opened well. The one girl got a phone call and I could hear her trying to get directions from whoever she was talking to. At the same time, I was working on my target. I had gotten a little up on her, but I noticed she was uncomfortable so I pulled back. I remember asking about some necklace she was wearing that had stars on them. I asked what the necklace meant. She said, "What do you think it means?" I said, "Hopefully, it means you're into astronomy." I then went on to talk about the stars. I go on that topic a lot and often it doesn't stick, but when a girl is into it, the set really takes off.
This girl was smiling at me and it felt like it was on, but then I could tell the other girl was walking away. I could hear her telling the person on the phone where she was; it sounded like their ride was coming up the street. I got a huge IOI when it was obvious my target had to go but she was reluctant to go. She was hovering near me and saying, "I'm sorry, I really have to go. I have to follow her."
Of course, the move should have been to just take a number. I hate short set number closes. Again, I think I made a mistake her by not taking the number. Yes, it's not ideal, but sometimes the quick number closes turn into something. I think it's good that I don't make a habit of farming phone numbers and using it as an excuse to leave the set early. I still have gone too far in the other direction but not taking phone numbers when I should: for example her, and I also should have number closed the blonde yesterday that 2j's girl had brought.
Good, but need to step up more:
I think I was frustrated in that I gave it my all but it just didn't seem to be enough. I really felt like I had put my best effort, but driving home, I realized that I let my inhibitions go as much as I could but I still need to work on taking the next step. I need to push even harder, and I still have to work on entitlement.
A perfect example is this tall blonde in the bachelorette set. She was my ideal girl. She was over six feet tall with her heels, really cute, and had a nice body. I had approached her when she was with the bride to be and another girl on the couch. I had said, "Hey, are you guys out of energy already? How come you're not on the dance floor?" She said they were going back soon. I asked her name and it was Britney, so I told her I was calling her Britney Spears even though she didn't have Britney's shaved head. I told her my name and did my usual bit about how to remember it.
Later, I saw them back on the dance floor. This was when I started to get out of state. I finally told myself that I needed to approach cause I knew I'd regret not trying. I went up and this black dude was dancing with three of the girls, including my target. I approached and pushed my way into the circle. I got my girls attention. She said the black dude was teaching her how to dance. I said, "Oh really?" I then got her split off from the group and started running some verbal on her. I asked her where she was from. I learned she wasn't from Chicago, so I told her that she needed to make sure she had some pizza. I then said, "I don't know, you might be one of those girls who would order a salad and not have some pizza." Of course, she qualified herself by saying, "No, I would totally eat pizza."
Thinking back on this set, I guess I was money for a little bit here. I was joking around with the girl and she was qualifying herself to me. I was even speaking too closely and she was interested enough that she leaned down so her ear could be by my mouth. Oh, and she remembered my name. I screwed up cause I failed a shit test and gave up. Well, I think I stalled, but whatever reason, she decided to go talk to the black dude. Instead of persisting by dancing with her friends or just trying to get her attention again, I walked away.
I have to step up. I was confident for a bit but I definitely didn't feel true entitlement. I remember driving home and thinking, "I guess I couldn't handle that girl." I cut off that line of thought and said, "No, I have to be able to look at the girl and say, 'This is for me.'" I really have to believe that I deserve a hot blonde. I need to think about what Alex says that the guys she's had sex with probably aren't this 10/10 guys. They were just normal guys.
A different set of black dudes that I think I saw at Lion Head and for sure, saw on Division, taught me what I'm missing. I remember being in the bar and seeing these two cute blondes walking towards me. I tried to open them as they were walking by. (On a sidenote, in the small bar that I was in, I shouldn't go for the moving opener when I can just wait 10 seconds and open them when they are not moving.) I saw them go to the other side of the bar after they blew me off and they went up to these two black dudes. A few minutes later, I saw the guys making out with the girls.
I had to ask myself, "Why the fuck can't I get those girls?" The answer is what Tyler said in this video I watched again today. I have that little bit that wnats to hold back. I also hold myself off on the pull. Other guys don't hold back and even if their game isn't top notch, they get laid because they are willing to be alpha all the way to the close. I need to stop being a bitch and realize that I will give girls a great experience by pulling them.
Just as I was opening like crazy early in the night and putting myself out there full force, I need to put in a solid effort all the way through a set. I haven't gotten some lays that I should have recently because I lost confidence or didn't step up at a key point near end game.
This blog is so therapeutic:
I really had to fight that down feeling I was getting when I was thinking about the night. After writing this entry, though, I feel so much better. I realize that did some things very well tonight. If I push myself and hit sets up and be the party guy that I was early on, then I'm gonna have success. It's inevitable. I'm doing what needs to be done and it actually isn't as hard as I thought it would be. At the same time, I'm learning valuable lessons about my short comings. There is no way that I can keep going out and put full effort and not start to get a bunch of lays or near lays. I just need to be a little bit more alpha and entitled and this is all gonna work out like I always dreamed.
Tonight is probably a good opportunity to learn the old sports adage that I've mentioned before: it's not whether you win or lose, but how you played the game. Well, in sarging, if I gave my best effort, then if I go home alone or no make outs or anything happened, I should still be happy with the night.
I felt like I was giving my best effort early on. I hit up the few sets that were there. I approached the sets that went on the dance floor and danced with them even though I knew everyone in the club would see this going down. I approached this bachelorette set with some really hot girls, like maybe the hottest ones I've seen all week. I forced myself to approach this tall blonde in that set twice even though I was a little intimidated.
Small successes:
I did have a little success. I went downstairs to take a piss and I saw this two set standing by the bathroom. I opened them when I came out and they were really receptive. After talking for a few minutes, I told them that they should come upstairs. The cute blonde told me she didn't even know there was an upstairs. This was a brief moment where I was leading in the way that I need to when I move girls around and also when I'm going for the pull. I was leading by being firm and assertive but not being needy. I was leading them in the way I would when I expected someone to follow me.
I got upstairs and I starting dancing in between them. I could tell the blonde was more drunk and she was cuter, so I started to dance up on her. She was looking into my eyes and I felt it was on, but then she started to tell me that she couldn't kiss me because she had a boyfriend. It was frustrating, but I really felt like she was into me but not enough to want to forget about the boyfriend. She was cool with me being up on her but then after protesting for about 20 seconds, she pulled back. I guess I should have went for the friend.
The other set I was happy with was a sidewalk set I opened as I was leaving the bar. I lost state near the end of the night. I think it was because I had hit up every set and had even returned to several sets. I saw this tall brunette with some guys she was into and wished it was me. I had seen these black dudes be successful with these blondes and I think it was them that I later saw on Division making out with some hot blondes. I was trying to be positive when I saw these two cuties standing on the sidewalk.
Part of me wanted to walk by and not approach, but almost on autopilot, I turned to them as I got close. I listened again to this Tyler talk about being congruent to your state. As I was a little down, I didn't try to fake being in high energy mode like I might of the past. I just opened, and I felt I was a little quieter than I normally would have been. I was surprised that the set opened well. The one girl got a phone call and I could hear her trying to get directions from whoever she was talking to. At the same time, I was working on my target. I had gotten a little up on her, but I noticed she was uncomfortable so I pulled back. I remember asking about some necklace she was wearing that had stars on them. I asked what the necklace meant. She said, "What do you think it means?" I said, "Hopefully, it means you're into astronomy." I then went on to talk about the stars. I go on that topic a lot and often it doesn't stick, but when a girl is into it, the set really takes off.
This girl was smiling at me and it felt like it was on, but then I could tell the other girl was walking away. I could hear her telling the person on the phone where she was; it sounded like their ride was coming up the street. I got a huge IOI when it was obvious my target had to go but she was reluctant to go. She was hovering near me and saying, "I'm sorry, I really have to go. I have to follow her."
Of course, the move should have been to just take a number. I hate short set number closes. Again, I think I made a mistake her by not taking the number. Yes, it's not ideal, but sometimes the quick number closes turn into something. I think it's good that I don't make a habit of farming phone numbers and using it as an excuse to leave the set early. I still have gone too far in the other direction but not taking phone numbers when I should: for example her, and I also should have number closed the blonde yesterday that 2j's girl had brought.
Good, but need to step up more:
I think I was frustrated in that I gave it my all but it just didn't seem to be enough. I really felt like I had put my best effort, but driving home, I realized that I let my inhibitions go as much as I could but I still need to work on taking the next step. I need to push even harder, and I still have to work on entitlement.
A perfect example is this tall blonde in the bachelorette set. She was my ideal girl. She was over six feet tall with her heels, really cute, and had a nice body. I had approached her when she was with the bride to be and another girl on the couch. I had said, "Hey, are you guys out of energy already? How come you're not on the dance floor?" She said they were going back soon. I asked her name and it was Britney, so I told her I was calling her Britney Spears even though she didn't have Britney's shaved head. I told her my name and did my usual bit about how to remember it.
Later, I saw them back on the dance floor. This was when I started to get out of state. I finally told myself that I needed to approach cause I knew I'd regret not trying. I went up and this black dude was dancing with three of the girls, including my target. I approached and pushed my way into the circle. I got my girls attention. She said the black dude was teaching her how to dance. I said, "Oh really?" I then got her split off from the group and started running some verbal on her. I asked her where she was from. I learned she wasn't from Chicago, so I told her that she needed to make sure she had some pizza. I then said, "I don't know, you might be one of those girls who would order a salad and not have some pizza." Of course, she qualified herself by saying, "No, I would totally eat pizza."
Thinking back on this set, I guess I was money for a little bit here. I was joking around with the girl and she was qualifying herself to me. I was even speaking too closely and she was interested enough that she leaned down so her ear could be by my mouth. Oh, and she remembered my name. I screwed up cause I failed a shit test and gave up. Well, I think I stalled, but whatever reason, she decided to go talk to the black dude. Instead of persisting by dancing with her friends or just trying to get her attention again, I walked away.
I have to step up. I was confident for a bit but I definitely didn't feel true entitlement. I remember driving home and thinking, "I guess I couldn't handle that girl." I cut off that line of thought and said, "No, I have to be able to look at the girl and say, 'This is for me.'" I really have to believe that I deserve a hot blonde. I need to think about what Alex says that the guys she's had sex with probably aren't this 10/10 guys. They were just normal guys.
A different set of black dudes that I think I saw at Lion Head and for sure, saw on Division, taught me what I'm missing. I remember being in the bar and seeing these two cute blondes walking towards me. I tried to open them as they were walking by. (On a sidenote, in the small bar that I was in, I shouldn't go for the moving opener when I can just wait 10 seconds and open them when they are not moving.) I saw them go to the other side of the bar after they blew me off and they went up to these two black dudes. A few minutes later, I saw the guys making out with the girls.
I had to ask myself, "Why the fuck can't I get those girls?" The answer is what Tyler said in this video I watched again today. I have that little bit that wnats to hold back. I also hold myself off on the pull. Other guys don't hold back and even if their game isn't top notch, they get laid because they are willing to be alpha all the way to the close. I need to stop being a bitch and realize that I will give girls a great experience by pulling them.
Just as I was opening like crazy early in the night and putting myself out there full force, I need to put in a solid effort all the way through a set. I haven't gotten some lays that I should have recently because I lost confidence or didn't step up at a key point near end game.
This blog is so therapeutic:
I really had to fight that down feeling I was getting when I was thinking about the night. After writing this entry, though, I feel so much better. I realize that did some things very well tonight. If I push myself and hit sets up and be the party guy that I was early on, then I'm gonna have success. It's inevitable. I'm doing what needs to be done and it actually isn't as hard as I thought it would be. At the same time, I'm learning valuable lessons about my short comings. There is no way that I can keep going out and put full effort and not start to get a bunch of lays or near lays. I just need to be a little bit more alpha and entitled and this is all gonna work out like I always dreamed.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Okay, this isn't that hard
I'm awake early cause my sleep schedule is all messed up from drinking and from waking up yesterday after only 3 hours of sleep and then sleeping for 5 hours in the afternoon. In my dazed state, I realized that while being drunk did make it easier for me to kiss the girl with glasses quickly, the more important lesson is that the opportunity has been there way more often that I've noticed while sober.
Yes, when I'm drunk, I'm of course more willing to make moves. The thing is that I know I can train myself to take more action sober. I did it with approaching starting years ago and recently, I had a breakthrough with dance floor opening (which I have always feared or been hesitant to try).
I keep thinking about the look the girl was giving me last night. I think about the way I was holding her. I've been in several situations like that in the past week where I didn't kiss the girl. I've gotten better in that I'll make the obvious moves. When there's that sexual tension filled moment when we are gazing into each other's eyes, yes I will go for the kiss. That's just too easy and I remember all the times as a newbie when I was afraid to make the move and how it lead to me screwing up the set.
The lesson here is that there are even more subtle signs that I am now getting better at processing. I think this realization might also have to do with time in set. It's obvious that a girl wants to be kissed when I've run a longer set and we've made a connection through whatever we've talked about. I've been failing to realize that my presence can indeed create this massive attraction through what Tyler explains as Masculine vs Feminine Polarity.
Maybe I can partially blame the old school model of pickup: the DHV. Maybe I bought into that seller frame too much in the past that I still have felt that I need time to prove my value. Yes, I've been trying to internalize the RSD lessons, but I think it's in the past few days that I am really getting it. I'm realizing that wow, there are times when I can just walk up, and the girl really can see that I'm the prize. I can come up and assume attraction, not as a leap of faith because Ozzie said it in some vidoe, but because (Wow!) it's actually true now.
http://www.rsdnation.com/alexander/blog/pick-girls-advanced-inner-mindset-greatest-cold-approach-pick-ups
I remember on Tuesday, I told 2j that this article and video really hit me, or as Tyler would say, my reticular activation system focused intently on that. I've been realizing Alex's lesson that I am enough. As I wrote the other day, I understand what Alex says that if you picture the guys these hotties have fucked, they aren't any different from me. It feels like it's indulging ego a bit, but dare I say I may even be better than them? This being true, then why should I ever doubt myself when I'm out there hitting up sets?
There is no reason anymore. My hard work is finally paying off and things are starting to come together.
This is a great feeling. Tonight, I'm going to not drink because I do like my gaming to be mostly sober. I have to realize that while I've made great strides, at the same time, I can't expect that every night is gonna be one where there's an awesome set, or expect that I'm gonna make out with a girl every night. It's surely possible that it can happen a lot more often. I just have to focus on continuing to do what's been working and remember to be confident and persistent, even when I get lost in the later stages of a sarge.
Yes, when I'm drunk, I'm of course more willing to make moves. The thing is that I know I can train myself to take more action sober. I did it with approaching starting years ago and recently, I had a breakthrough with dance floor opening (which I have always feared or been hesitant to try).
I keep thinking about the look the girl was giving me last night. I think about the way I was holding her. I've been in several situations like that in the past week where I didn't kiss the girl. I've gotten better in that I'll make the obvious moves. When there's that sexual tension filled moment when we are gazing into each other's eyes, yes I will go for the kiss. That's just too easy and I remember all the times as a newbie when I was afraid to make the move and how it lead to me screwing up the set.
The lesson here is that there are even more subtle signs that I am now getting better at processing. I think this realization might also have to do with time in set. It's obvious that a girl wants to be kissed when I've run a longer set and we've made a connection through whatever we've talked about. I've been failing to realize that my presence can indeed create this massive attraction through what Tyler explains as Masculine vs Feminine Polarity.
Maybe I can partially blame the old school model of pickup: the DHV. Maybe I bought into that seller frame too much in the past that I still have felt that I need time to prove my value. Yes, I've been trying to internalize the RSD lessons, but I think it's in the past few days that I am really getting it. I'm realizing that wow, there are times when I can just walk up, and the girl really can see that I'm the prize. I can come up and assume attraction, not as a leap of faith because Ozzie said it in some vidoe, but because (Wow!) it's actually true now.
http://www.rsdnation.com/alexander/blog/pick-girls-advanced-inner-mindset-greatest-cold-approach-pick-ups
I remember on Tuesday, I told 2j that this article and video really hit me, or as Tyler would say, my reticular activation system focused intently on that. I've been realizing Alex's lesson that I am enough. As I wrote the other day, I understand what Alex says that if you picture the guys these hotties have fucked, they aren't any different from me. It feels like it's indulging ego a bit, but dare I say I may even be better than them? This being true, then why should I ever doubt myself when I'm out there hitting up sets?
There is no reason anymore. My hard work is finally paying off and things are starting to come together.
This is a great feeling. Tonight, I'm going to not drink because I do like my gaming to be mostly sober. I have to realize that while I've made great strides, at the same time, I can't expect that every night is gonna be one where there's an awesome set, or expect that I'm gonna make out with a girl every night. It's surely possible that it can happen a lot more often. I just have to focus on continuing to do what's been working and remember to be confident and persistent, even when I get lost in the later stages of a sarge.
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