I had a good night Saturday and the only thing that I might have done better was to try to push one particular set to a pull despite likely bad logistics. I started out solo as I didn't hear from G, and all my RSD guys, including my main wing 2j, were at Hot Seat. I got to Wrigley and found a parking spot right away. I sat in the car for 10 minutes surfing the net on my phone and then I finally decided I wasn't gonna be stupid and sit there. I haven't done any solo gaming in a long time and I know that it would be good to push myself to do some. Besides, trying warm ups solo is way better than just sitting in the car waiting.
The first bar I walked into, I ended up standing around for 10 minutes doing nothing. When I don't take action for that long in a venue, I find it easier to just reboot myself by leaving and going somewhere new. I forced myself to open some sets immediately upon entering the second venue. After talking to two different sets, I found myself feeling good and excited about being out.
Quick kiss close:
In the 4th venue, I passed by this pale girl and just pulled her into me. From the way we maintained eye contact, I could just tell that it was on. Her situation was perfect too: she had just moved to Chicago a few weeks ago to start a new job. She hasn't really seen much of the city and sounded excited as I talked about all these interesting restaurants and other spots. She likes food and travel.
I asked her to sit down, and I could tell she wanted to kiss me. I was exercising what Tyler described in his "Physical Game" video. Instead of immediately going for the kiss, I just held the tension. As he describes in the video, the dynamic was different from times in the past when I knew or suspected the girl wanted to kiss me and I held back because I was afraid to do so. I finally kissed her briefly and of course, she wanted it. I pulled it back right away but we'd kiss 2 more times while talking there. Later, I remember there being a pause in the conversation. It was time to kiss and I just looked into her eyes, and she couldn't take the tension and leaned in to kiss me.
There was a break as I text 2j. He was meeting me but I hadn't responded since I was in the set so he was next door. I told him to come meet me here as my girl had several friends at the venue including this cute Asian girl. There was break here when 2j came and my girl went to talk to some other friends. She was in a big set of several college friends.
2j and I hung out at the venue for awhile. I kept asking him whether the move was to try to pull her or to just continue the night. It seemed like a solid Day 2 possibility. Ultimately, I decided to not push for the pull. The reasons that the pull seemed difficult are: she was in a big group of friends and they were all around 21-22 (these younger sets are less likely to let their friends be pulled, unlike late 20's+ girls who will often just let it happen). I would add that I threw out some feelers about grabbing food or hanging out after. She said she wasn't hungry and she said we could hang out again on another day. While those two responses were normal, they also indicated that this wasn't a situation where the girl was gonna make it super easy to be pulled.
On the other hand, part of me knows I need pulling practice. What stuck in my head too is that I went to the dance floor to tell her I was going to check out this other club. She must have thought I asked her to go to Barleycorn as she paused for a second to think about it and then said she should probably stay here with her friends. That pause means that I probably could have moved her around that bar, made out with, and then pushed her to go to the other club. If I got the veneu change and hung out with her till close, I might have gotten the pull to her place.
I settled for taking using the phone number (which I took shortly after I first kissed her) and trying to set up a Day 2.
Solid number close:
We were walking around the huge dance floor at the other venue. I had several sets that I just massively hooked. This one girl, I just walked by and pulled into me. It's amazing how when I'm in state (heck, I'd even say, this happens when I'm just not in a shitty state), I can just go up to girls at will and get strongly positive reactions. I'll pull the girl in and the eye contact will be strong and I can tell that at that initial opening, she wants me. Of course, it's easy to lose that feeling by doing something low value or other stuff happening. Still, it's something that I only began to experience regularly as my game really started improving at the end of summer.
I ended up number closing this one girl. I had asked her logistical questions. She was with a girl and a gay friend and she said they were going to Berlin (this gay club near by). I took her number because we had interesting conversation. She's interested in travel and international events. I text her and she's been responding more enthusiastically than the girl I actually kissed that night. Strange how that works.
No after hours:
As I mentioned, I had some other strong sets while I was out but nothing really materialized from them. I had definitely built momentum from the awesome Free Tour speech and from going out since Wednesday. 2j hates doing after hours nowadays. I could have gone out solo, but I was tired from having run 10 miles Saturday and from going out Wed-Sat so I was happy to call it a night. Besides, I had a good evening already.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
The Return of G and Inspiration
The Free Tour definitely motivated G. He came out to the Chicago Art District event late but he started strong. He had text me but I didn't notice the text and by the time we ran into him, he had already opened. I had to wait an hour until I opened. I'm always in beast mode at the bar or club but I still have a hard time in day game situations. After we met up with G, I saw him open and it made me want to open more.
I'll also add that G and I talked about committing to running the marathon next year. I plan on doing a holding pattern with my runs through winter. I've build up to where I'm running 5 milesx3 days a week and doing a long run. My long run has been at 8 miles but I decided to kick it up to 10 miles today. I still have to figure out how much indoor running I can handle. If I just run at least 20 miles a week during winter, though, I'll be in good shape to ramp up my training in Spring.
At the club, I got into two longer sets with 2j. Unfortunately, his roommate had decided to come out. The guy is okay, but he's a drag to 2j when we're out sarging. When it's just 2j and I, or if the extra people are community guys or naturals, 2j is usually in state and ready to hit sets hard. When his roommate comes out, he used it as an excuse to dick around doing nothing. Ideally, I should just run off and do my own things but there is a specific instance when I get annoyed. I told G and 2j I was opening this nearby set and I'd need a wing. I was in the set for awhile and nobody came. I ran over and grabbed 2j and bitched at him for dicking around. He came and winged and we had a long set.
I had this other long set that I maybe should have stayed in a bit longer. I had this short girl hooked. Vinny had come in to wing me but he disappeared a few minutes into the set and I could tell the friend was getting bored. I pulled 2j in and he talked but then just stood there. He tried and I know sometimes you just don't click with a girl. When that happens to me when I'm wining, I'll just steamroll them with stories or other material.
There were a few other sets I hooked really strongly at the beginning but to no avail.
Later, I did some quick street game near Division. I had some brutal bust outs as I really wasn't in state but was forcing myself to do the approaches. 2j tried to advice me on how to claw moving sets properly. I told him that the problem wasn't that I didn't know how to do it, the problem was that I really didn't want to open, but at the last second, I'd force myself and that's why I was doing it wrong.
Anyway, I can tell my game as built momentum from Wednesday-Friday, and I'm pushing myself harder after being inspired by the free tour. Tonight, I'm gonna try sober sarging and I'm going to continue to both push hard and try to enjoy myself.
I'll also add that G and I talked about committing to running the marathon next year. I plan on doing a holding pattern with my runs through winter. I've build up to where I'm running 5 milesx3 days a week and doing a long run. My long run has been at 8 miles but I decided to kick it up to 10 miles today. I still have to figure out how much indoor running I can handle. If I just run at least 20 miles a week during winter, though, I'll be in good shape to ramp up my training in Spring.
At the club, I got into two longer sets with 2j. Unfortunately, his roommate had decided to come out. The guy is okay, but he's a drag to 2j when we're out sarging. When it's just 2j and I, or if the extra people are community guys or naturals, 2j is usually in state and ready to hit sets hard. When his roommate comes out, he used it as an excuse to dick around doing nothing. Ideally, I should just run off and do my own things but there is a specific instance when I get annoyed. I told G and 2j I was opening this nearby set and I'd need a wing. I was in the set for awhile and nobody came. I ran over and grabbed 2j and bitched at him for dicking around. He came and winged and we had a long set.
I had this other long set that I maybe should have stayed in a bit longer. I had this short girl hooked. Vinny had come in to wing me but he disappeared a few minutes into the set and I could tell the friend was getting bored. I pulled 2j in and he talked but then just stood there. He tried and I know sometimes you just don't click with a girl. When that happens to me when I'm wining, I'll just steamroll them with stories or other material.
There were a few other sets I hooked really strongly at the beginning but to no avail.
Later, I did some quick street game near Division. I had some brutal bust outs as I really wasn't in state but was forcing myself to do the approaches. 2j tried to advice me on how to claw moving sets properly. I told him that the problem wasn't that I didn't know how to do it, the problem was that I really didn't want to open, but at the last second, I'd force myself and that's why I was doing it wrong.
Anyway, I can tell my game as built momentum from Wednesday-Friday, and I'm pushing myself harder after being inspired by the free tour. Tonight, I'm gonna try sober sarging and I'm going to continue to both push hard and try to enjoy myself.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Jeffy Free Tour Brings Out the Beast mode in me
2j and I went to the RSD free tour last night. I told several people about it and it was good to see some of them there. The event has massive value including what Tyler has called a "burst of in field video." I'm sure that was really valuable to G and Raw who aren't as familiar with the current RSD stuff. I had seen two of the videos before but there were several new ones. The talk was entertaining and humorous and inspirational as well. While I know most of the concepts already, hearing them again just made them resonate in my head better. I found myself nodding as I recognized how he describe some of the success barriers we have to tear down to improve and also nodding in a knowing way to some of the concepts as I know they've helped me get better results.
I felt inspired to really push myself to improve. I'm almost always in beast mode (meaning approaching without hesitation) at the club, but I've created an artificial barrier in my head when it comes to day game type situations. When we went out last night, I found I was pushing myself even harder. I even opened a set while we were waiting for the train to come to go to after hours.
Train Station shit test:
When we got up to the Fullerton platform, I saw four girls sitting around. While I normally would have wanted to open them and then said nothing, I opened them immediately. The leader girl started shit testing me right off the bat. Ironically, she tried messing with me in the one way that has never been able to stick on me, even back when I had low self esteem. I'm so grounded and chill now that even if she had tried to tool me on something that I might have had issues with more recently, it wouldn't have stuck. To use a Matrix analogy, what she did might be like some newbie trying to punch Neo. Neo could block the punch even back when he first sparring with Morpheus. That girl shit testing me would be like some newbie trying to punch the Neo from the end of the movie that realizes he's the one. She trying to punch the Neo who can block bullets and kill agents.
She basically tried to tell me I was stupid. She said something like, "You know, we're all smart girls. We're engineers."
I think I gave some generic response like, "You gain points for that." That's actually the truth though: I want a girl that's intelligent.
I forgot her exact words after this, but her tone of voice and her words basically were trying to put me in the frame of, "We're smart girls. You're stupid and not being even close to our level."
Again, this never would have stuck even back when I was a total chode. Yeah, if a professor or TA said that, it would have affected me I'm sure, but no random girl is gonna make that stick because the one strength I've always had in my book smarts.
My response to the further shit tests was I just busted out laughing. I just felt it was so ridiculous. I guess the difference between the old me and the new me is that the old me would have tried to qualify myself verbally.
Holding back from staying in set:
I was opening great at times. I remember opening this redhead 2-set and then the patting the seat next to her for me to sit down after about two sentences. I screwed this set up by getting frustrated that I had two wings nearby that weren't coming in. I knew afterward that I was being dumb and using that as an excuse. 2j and Trojan- had opened a set, but I couldn't see that. I thought they were just BSing with each other like they sometimes do instead of coming in. I didn't need their help. I wanted it because it makes things easier but I know how to run a 2-set. I should have just kept talking to the set. I sent one text to 2j which was fine. Where I lost the set is that I paused the conversation again and went to text Trojan- and their buying temp dropped enough to lose them.
The other problem we had early on was just bad luck with the girls 2j and I were clicking. I remember two different 2-sets where I had the one girl massively hooked but I could hear 2j's girl didn't like him. I remember at Kendall's I started to hear this girl starting to say, "This is girls night out. I'm trying to just talk to my friend." What I should have done was number close right there, or grabbed the friends attention and plowed her with material to stabilize the set. Instead, I just kept talking to my girl knowing that the friend was about to pull her away.
I can't blame 2j. That sometimes is just the way it is: not all girls are gonna like you or your wing(s). I went into a 3-set that 2j and Trojan- were working later on. I had the 3rd girl hooked but then I got busted out. I think that was the set where I brought up my cats and she hated cats, yet I kept talking about them. As I wing, I should have just changed the subject and just tried to talk friend-to-friend to hold her attention. Instead, I was in my normal set mode. Sometimes, I'll just keep talking about the cat because I love my cats and if she hates cat it turns me off anyway and I don't mind if the set ends. Another time, 2j and I were working a 2-set, and my girl just blew me out. Again, it happens.
Plan for tonight:
We're going to the art event and G seems like he's gonna come with which is great. I want to be in beast mode there. I usually make an approach or two at the art thing, but in beast mode, I should approach every set that I find attractive. We failed to take action with several hot girls last month. When we get to the club, I want to do more dance floor game. I also am gonna work on stopping moving sets properly. I was trying a lot of clawing moving girls last night and I realized as I was going to bed today that I was looking at their arms instead of locking and holding eye contact. I'm certain I just corrected what was screwed up with my moving set game.
More importantly, I'm going to work on staying in set while escalating and leading. Often I get too addicted to just opening and having fun when I should be working on the most efficient way to SNL or create a solid phone number set. I need to open well, figure out her logistics to see if pulling is possible, and if it is, I have to move her around the club and escalate and then try to pull.
I felt inspired to really push myself to improve. I'm almost always in beast mode (meaning approaching without hesitation) at the club, but I've created an artificial barrier in my head when it comes to day game type situations. When we went out last night, I found I was pushing myself even harder. I even opened a set while we were waiting for the train to come to go to after hours.
Train Station shit test:
When we got up to the Fullerton platform, I saw four girls sitting around. While I normally would have wanted to open them and then said nothing, I opened them immediately. The leader girl started shit testing me right off the bat. Ironically, she tried messing with me in the one way that has never been able to stick on me, even back when I had low self esteem. I'm so grounded and chill now that even if she had tried to tool me on something that I might have had issues with more recently, it wouldn't have stuck. To use a Matrix analogy, what she did might be like some newbie trying to punch Neo. Neo could block the punch even back when he first sparring with Morpheus. That girl shit testing me would be like some newbie trying to punch the Neo from the end of the movie that realizes he's the one. She trying to punch the Neo who can block bullets and kill agents.
She basically tried to tell me I was stupid. She said something like, "You know, we're all smart girls. We're engineers."
I think I gave some generic response like, "You gain points for that." That's actually the truth though: I want a girl that's intelligent.
I forgot her exact words after this, but her tone of voice and her words basically were trying to put me in the frame of, "We're smart girls. You're stupid and not being even close to our level."
Again, this never would have stuck even back when I was a total chode. Yeah, if a professor or TA said that, it would have affected me I'm sure, but no random girl is gonna make that stick because the one strength I've always had in my book smarts.
My response to the further shit tests was I just busted out laughing. I just felt it was so ridiculous. I guess the difference between the old me and the new me is that the old me would have tried to qualify myself verbally.
Holding back from staying in set:
I was opening great at times. I remember opening this redhead 2-set and then the patting the seat next to her for me to sit down after about two sentences. I screwed this set up by getting frustrated that I had two wings nearby that weren't coming in. I knew afterward that I was being dumb and using that as an excuse. 2j and Trojan- had opened a set, but I couldn't see that. I thought they were just BSing with each other like they sometimes do instead of coming in. I didn't need their help. I wanted it because it makes things easier but I know how to run a 2-set. I should have just kept talking to the set. I sent one text to 2j which was fine. Where I lost the set is that I paused the conversation again and went to text Trojan- and their buying temp dropped enough to lose them.
The other problem we had early on was just bad luck with the girls 2j and I were clicking. I remember two different 2-sets where I had the one girl massively hooked but I could hear 2j's girl didn't like him. I remember at Kendall's I started to hear this girl starting to say, "This is girls night out. I'm trying to just talk to my friend." What I should have done was number close right there, or grabbed the friends attention and plowed her with material to stabilize the set. Instead, I just kept talking to my girl knowing that the friend was about to pull her away.
I can't blame 2j. That sometimes is just the way it is: not all girls are gonna like you or your wing(s). I went into a 3-set that 2j and Trojan- were working later on. I had the 3rd girl hooked but then I got busted out. I think that was the set where I brought up my cats and she hated cats, yet I kept talking about them. As I wing, I should have just changed the subject and just tried to talk friend-to-friend to hold her attention. Instead, I was in my normal set mode. Sometimes, I'll just keep talking about the cat because I love my cats and if she hates cat it turns me off anyway and I don't mind if the set ends. Another time, 2j and I were working a 2-set, and my girl just blew me out. Again, it happens.
Plan for tonight:
We're going to the art event and G seems like he's gonna come with which is great. I want to be in beast mode there. I usually make an approach or two at the art thing, but in beast mode, I should approach every set that I find attractive. We failed to take action with several hot girls last month. When we get to the club, I want to do more dance floor game. I also am gonna work on stopping moving sets properly. I was trying a lot of clawing moving girls last night and I realized as I was going to bed today that I was looking at their arms instead of locking and holding eye contact. I'm certain I just corrected what was screwed up with my moving set game.
More importantly, I'm going to work on staying in set while escalating and leading. Often I get too addicted to just opening and having fun when I should be working on the most efficient way to SNL or create a solid phone number set. I need to open well, figure out her logistics to see if pulling is possible, and if it is, I have to move her around the club and escalate and then try to pull.
I know you, from the lair...
There are two PUA lairs in the Chicago area. I should actually join one as both groups organize free PUA talks throughout the year. While I'm sure the talks are not as polished as the RSD free tour, I'm equally sure that they have inspirational value. That being said, I probably have avoided joining because Herschey used to invite these guys he met through the lair. The guys he invited out were all guys that stood around and did nothing. 2j says that many of the lair guys are creepy. Of course, there are cool guys in the lair as well. Occasionally, with Herschey in the past, we've run into some of the guys randomly and I've met 2-3 really cool guys.
Yesterday, I had a reminder experience about the creep factor of lair guys. 2j and I were out sarging in Lincoln Park. 2j said there was a lair event out, and of course so were a bunch of people from the RSD free tour, and we actually saw the Tyler boot camp out as well. I opened this 2-set on the dance floor using pure dance floor moves. The one girl seemed into me, but the other girl busted me out. Some dude saw me and he stopped me as I walked by.
Guy: (Some gibberish I couldn't hear.)
Me: Huh?
Guy: I know you.
Me: ?
Guy: I know you from lair.
Me: I was at the RSD free tour.
Guy: No the lair.
Me: (2j was next to me so I figured this guy might have recognized 2j). I'm not in the lair, but he is. This is 2j.
2j talked to him for a few seconds. 2j immediately told me how weird and creepy the guy was. He said he didn't know him and also that the guy said he wanted to watch follow us and watch us sarge.
On the one hand, I sympathize with chodes/AFC's as I was a massive one myself. I always truthfully say that I often started at a level well below many of these awkward newbies that I know or have met. This was just a reminder of why I've been avoiding the lair. I know the guy just wanted to find wings or improve his game, but as this point I'm not gonna waste my time. I have great wings already and I don't feel the desire to train up someone unless I think they are cool or offer some sort of value. This guy just felt like a value sucking leech.
The solution, of course, is that I should just join the lair and go with 2j to the events and just blow off all the creepers.
Tyler actually made a good free tour post about lairs. Below is his video "Tyler Dishes Dirt on PUA Lairs." He explains what a newbie should do if he wants to meet the best people in the lairs.
Yesterday, I had a reminder experience about the creep factor of lair guys. 2j and I were out sarging in Lincoln Park. 2j said there was a lair event out, and of course so were a bunch of people from the RSD free tour, and we actually saw the Tyler boot camp out as well. I opened this 2-set on the dance floor using pure dance floor moves. The one girl seemed into me, but the other girl busted me out. Some dude saw me and he stopped me as I walked by.
Guy: (Some gibberish I couldn't hear.)
Me: Huh?
Guy: I know you.
Me: ?
Guy: I know you from lair.
Me: I was at the RSD free tour.
Guy: No the lair.
Me: (2j was next to me so I figured this guy might have recognized 2j). I'm not in the lair, but he is. This is 2j.
2j talked to him for a few seconds. 2j immediately told me how weird and creepy the guy was. He said he didn't know him and also that the guy said he wanted to watch follow us and watch us sarge.
On the one hand, I sympathize with chodes/AFC's as I was a massive one myself. I always truthfully say that I often started at a level well below many of these awkward newbies that I know or have met. This was just a reminder of why I've been avoiding the lair. I know the guy just wanted to find wings or improve his game, but as this point I'm not gonna waste my time. I have great wings already and I don't feel the desire to train up someone unless I think they are cool or offer some sort of value. This guy just felt like a value sucking leech.
The solution, of course, is that I should just join the lair and go with 2j to the events and just blow off all the creepers.
Tyler actually made a good free tour post about lairs. Below is his video "Tyler Dishes Dirt on PUA Lairs." He explains what a newbie should do if he wants to meet the best people in the lairs.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Positivity is back despite blowouts on hard mode
We dropped off Jeffy, and then 2j, Jeffy's assistant (I forgot his screen name), and I went out to Crescendo and Spy Bar. I paid the price for not having gone out since Saturday. I didn't feel any approach anxiety and I opened the first set that we came upon. I just wasn't completely in the zone, but it didn't stop me from trying.
Hitting those places with real warm up or momentum was like jumping right into an NFL playoff game with the regular season. I guess it would be like playing one game before the playoff game. I had a Day2 with this girl I met back in April. I don't even know if it counts as a Day 2. We're just friends and I don't even really want more than that and I don't think she does either. It was her birthday party that 2j and I stopped by a few weeks ago. Thanks to her, I started the night drinking free Amstel Lights at this happy hour event. I had to limit myself since I knew I was picking up Jeffy afterward. I planned this last minute and ended up taking the train so I wouldn't deal with traffic. I met up with 2j on the train to my car and picked up Jeffy.
When Crescendo got busy, there were several hot girls there. The place was rough. It's so much easier to open and hook sets in Lincoln Park. 2j hooked this drunk girl early on. She happened to be a friend of this Indian girl that I must have seen out about 20 times this summer. This is the moody Indian girl who one week was friendly to me in line at Sound Bar. The next week, she told me to fuck off when I opened her in Sound Bar. The funny thing is I wasn't even trying to sarge her at the time. I was just being friendly. Then, she was cool with me two weeks later.
My best set of this night was this Russian redhead. I managed to stop her as she was walking by. I was all up on her and talked to her for about 5 minutes before she said she had to find her friends. I suppose I should have just plowed with more material when she said that but I didn't do so at the time.
I had this amusing interaction with this tall redhead at Spy Bar. 2j pointed her out to me as he knows I like them. I opened her and was talking briefly and then she said, "Are you gonna buy us a bottle?" I laughed and said, "No, you need to ask one of these dudes to buy you a bottle and share it with me." I laugh because I'm the last person that I would buy her a bottle and I also chuckle because you know at least one fool has chumped out and done that for her in the past.
We ended the night on Division Street. We were in this one bar where several girls were dancing on this couch area. I saw a girl squatting on the chair. I opened her by saying, "Look at you, you either have to sit down or stand up and dance. There's no, half-assing like that. Chose one." She giggled and then she said, "Okay, I'll dance for you." While I opened it, it made it hard to do anything more. I thought about how Manwhore has said that when girls are dancing up like that, he goes up to them and just starts talking to them as they are dancing. I forced myself to stay and dance in front of her. I had her high five me but then I felt awkward and walked away. I know that the move is to just stay with it. I could have kept yelling shit to her as she was dancing and then tried to pull her down later on.
Tonight was a good warm up for this weekend. I know I'm gonna get pumped up from the Free Tour. Seeing the boot camp will also motivate me like it did in April. Most importantly, my shitty mood from Saturday is gone and my positivity has returned. Even though my best set was merely a 5 minutes hook, I really enjoyed my evening. I used to always have fun until I fell into that trap of having way too high expectations for myself.
Hitting those places with real warm up or momentum was like jumping right into an NFL playoff game with the regular season. I guess it would be like playing one game before the playoff game. I had a Day2 with this girl I met back in April. I don't even know if it counts as a Day 2. We're just friends and I don't even really want more than that and I don't think she does either. It was her birthday party that 2j and I stopped by a few weeks ago. Thanks to her, I started the night drinking free Amstel Lights at this happy hour event. I had to limit myself since I knew I was picking up Jeffy afterward. I planned this last minute and ended up taking the train so I wouldn't deal with traffic. I met up with 2j on the train to my car and picked up Jeffy.
When Crescendo got busy, there were several hot girls there. The place was rough. It's so much easier to open and hook sets in Lincoln Park. 2j hooked this drunk girl early on. She happened to be a friend of this Indian girl that I must have seen out about 20 times this summer. This is the moody Indian girl who one week was friendly to me in line at Sound Bar. The next week, she told me to fuck off when I opened her in Sound Bar. The funny thing is I wasn't even trying to sarge her at the time. I was just being friendly. Then, she was cool with me two weeks later.
My best set of this night was this Russian redhead. I managed to stop her as she was walking by. I was all up on her and talked to her for about 5 minutes before she said she had to find her friends. I suppose I should have just plowed with more material when she said that but I didn't do so at the time.
I had this amusing interaction with this tall redhead at Spy Bar. 2j pointed her out to me as he knows I like them. I opened her and was talking briefly and then she said, "Are you gonna buy us a bottle?" I laughed and said, "No, you need to ask one of these dudes to buy you a bottle and share it with me." I laugh because I'm the last person that I would buy her a bottle and I also chuckle because you know at least one fool has chumped out and done that for her in the past.
We ended the night on Division Street. We were in this one bar where several girls were dancing on this couch area. I saw a girl squatting on the chair. I opened her by saying, "Look at you, you either have to sit down or stand up and dance. There's no, half-assing like that. Chose one." She giggled and then she said, "Okay, I'll dance for you." While I opened it, it made it hard to do anything more. I thought about how Manwhore has said that when girls are dancing up like that, he goes up to them and just starts talking to them as they are dancing. I forced myself to stay and dance in front of her. I had her high five me but then I felt awkward and walked away. I know that the move is to just stay with it. I could have kept yelling shit to her as she was dancing and then tried to pull her down later on.
Tonight was a good warm up for this weekend. I know I'm gonna get pumped up from the Free Tour. Seeing the boot camp will also motivate me like it did in April. Most importantly, my shitty mood from Saturday is gone and my positivity has returned. Even though my best set was merely a 5 minutes hook, I really enjoyed my evening. I used to always have fun until I fell into that trap of having way too high expectations for myself.
Spent a car ride with Jeffy/Jlaix
I suppose this deserves it's own post. 2j and I picked up Jeffy and his assistant at the airport. 2j is hosting the assistant and they needed a ride so 2j asked me if I could do it. I live by the airport anyway and always go down to the city to sarge with 2j so it was on the way. Besides, I figured it would be cool to spend some time with one of the big RSD guys.
I didn't bombard him with questions like some guys would do. I know so much theory that I actually don't have any specific questions that can help me. I have to improve by doing more field work, leading more, pushing my comfort levels, and gaining reference experiences and calibration from all that. If I can't figure out how to analyze what happened (and that happens mostly with late game/pulling situations), I ask 2j or post on the forums. Even if I had a ton of questions, I wouldn't have bothered him with them. So guys treat these PUA guys like just objects who can dispense pickup knowledge.
It actually surprised me that the conversation turned towards game for a bit. I figured that they'd want a break from game since they are gonna have a full weekend of free tour, boot camp, hot seat, etc. I suppose it's like when I've hung out with poker people. I'd naturally start talking about poker and I suppose it's natural that PUA's end up talking about some aspect of sarging. We all got into this because we love women and sarging, after all.
Jeffy is about what I expected. What you see on video is basically what you get. Keep in mind that I only spent a 20 minute car ride with him. I didn't get to see the man in action, but I'm sure I'll see them out in the field at some point. I ran into the boot camp back in April as well and I know on Thursdays that they go to where we normally go out.
The one thing I will say is that you realize he's just a normal guy that just happens to have put a lot of field work into sarging and has turned into a master PUA and PUA guru. Tyler has always said that they are just regular guys who put hard work to become good at what they do.
Of course, out in the field, they are larger than life. They are getting success with women that I always dreamed about. Realizing that they are regular guys does make you realize that with enough work, we can all improve as well. I don't expect to get to their level, but I know I can surpass where I am. Just this year, I've progressed so much and I've been a part of crazy adventures that I never would have imagine possible.
Let me close by saying it's funny how life works out. It's funny how I wound up in a set of circumstances that resulted in me spending a car ride with Jeffy. It's cool how Jeffy, while a normal cool guy as I described above, is also the author of "Get Laid or Die Trying" (which I really will buy at some point), the RSD guru, and the guy who's living the PUA lifestyle that we all would like to have. So yeah, Jeffy ending up being in my car for a ride into the city is cool.
I didn't bombard him with questions like some guys would do. I know so much theory that I actually don't have any specific questions that can help me. I have to improve by doing more field work, leading more, pushing my comfort levels, and gaining reference experiences and calibration from all that. If I can't figure out how to analyze what happened (and that happens mostly with late game/pulling situations), I ask 2j or post on the forums. Even if I had a ton of questions, I wouldn't have bothered him with them. So guys treat these PUA guys like just objects who can dispense pickup knowledge.
It actually surprised me that the conversation turned towards game for a bit. I figured that they'd want a break from game since they are gonna have a full weekend of free tour, boot camp, hot seat, etc. I suppose it's like when I've hung out with poker people. I'd naturally start talking about poker and I suppose it's natural that PUA's end up talking about some aspect of sarging. We all got into this because we love women and sarging, after all.
Jeffy is about what I expected. What you see on video is basically what you get. Keep in mind that I only spent a 20 minute car ride with him. I didn't get to see the man in action, but I'm sure I'll see them out in the field at some point. I ran into the boot camp back in April as well and I know on Thursdays that they go to where we normally go out.
The one thing I will say is that you realize he's just a normal guy that just happens to have put a lot of field work into sarging and has turned into a master PUA and PUA guru. Tyler has always said that they are just regular guys who put hard work to become good at what they do.
Of course, out in the field, they are larger than life. They are getting success with women that I always dreamed about. Realizing that they are regular guys does make you realize that with enough work, we can all improve as well. I don't expect to get to their level, but I know I can surpass where I am. Just this year, I've progressed so much and I've been a part of crazy adventures that I never would have imagine possible.
Let me close by saying it's funny how life works out. It's funny how I wound up in a set of circumstances that resulted in me spending a car ride with Jeffy. It's cool how Jeffy, while a normal cool guy as I described above, is also the author of "Get Laid or Die Trying" (which I really will buy at some point), the RSD guru, and the guy who's living the PUA lifestyle that we all would like to have. So yeah, Jeffy ending up being in my car for a ride into the city is cool.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Math girl: LTR material? & Community conditioning
I had that initial Day 2 with Math girl that I blogged about Sept 30. I went on a Day 3 that went great on Thursday and we hung out again Monday night. I feel weird writing a detailed report about her probably because I do actually like her.
Sometimes, I'm wondering what I'm gonna say on Day 2's, on the phone or through text. That happened when I first text her, but after that, it was like we just clicked. I can't even remember a moment when we've hung out in person and I've felt my mind trying to think of what to say, or trying to fill some void in the conversation. We just feel really at ease talking to each other.
Things are moving slower than I usually expect and part of me was frustrated with that initially. One reason, is that I feared she was gonna be like my first girlfriend. I was worried she didn't like sex, but the other night, we had a good talk that cleared things up. 2j's theory after the Day2 was that Math girl really liked me and when girls do that, they often want to make you wait. Sometimes they do this because they fear that if they hook up too quickly, they'll lose you. They also worry if you really like them or if just want to have sex them. I suspected I might have been dealing with some of these reasons so I tried to make her comfortable by telling her that I didn't just want this to be a one night thing. (I'll note that's a LMR tactic, but I really did feel that way. As I've said before, I practice the light side of the game. I don't like to lie and say something like that to help bust LMR if I don't really feel it.) It turns out she's worried about getting too attached. She's afraid things might break off at the wrong time and she'll end up screwing up her grades (and in this case, it would mean screwing up her future job prospects and career. She's not in college anymore, so this is different.)
2j pointed out too that if things are progressing, that I shouldn't be worrying about it anyway. Hearing her reasoning finally put me fully at ease with how things are going. Today, I also thought about Style's time line at the end of "The Game." Sometimes, you can or have to take things slower.
Community Conditioning?:
I feel like I've broken through much of social conditioning when it comes to sarging and relationship. At the same time, I wonder if I've taken on community conditioning. I told 2j that I'm probably just being stupid. I let community thinking say that if I don't hook up by tne end of a Day2 or Day3 or whatever, then I'm a chump.
When 2j and I were talking today, I actually dug into my memory. I thought about my old AFC days. This situation is no where near a chode type situation. Back then, I'd buy multiple dinners for girls, and at times even over a period of months, and get shit. Sometimes I got a kiss and something I didn't get anything at all. Math girl has always wanted to pay for herself at the beginning and things have progressed pretty far so clearly this situation is way different.
What's the alternative?:
2j made a final great point. He said, "What's the alternative?" The answer would be to say, "Peace out" because we haven't had sex and not see her again. That's just dumb. I like this girl and feel a connection to her. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Sex is great and all, but what I have here is more rare than sex. Besides, when you have a real connection with someone, sex is inevitable. I don't need to rush it.
To make the point to myself, I picture pulling a hottie from the Thursday Sound Bar scene. Yeah, I'd love to bang one those girls. If I did, and she had a shit personality, it would be fun, but I would just be left with emptiness at the end. It would help me with entitlement issues, but it wouldn't give me what my interactions with Math girl have given me thus far.
Math girl is a really cool, smart woman, and I'm gonna continue seeing her. I no longer feel the need to rush things on some community schedule. On the other hand, I'm not gonna do what JW did and commit to her at such an early point. If I embraced the dark side of the game, I probably could have sped things along if I had told her what JW told his girl. I could have told her that I was looking for a serious girlfriend and told her I really liked her, etc. I have told her that I like her, but I also told her that I'm still on a journey and I don't want to get married for a long time. I'll continue sarging, but my mind often drifts into thought about Math girl. I suspect sarging is gonna get better as I'll be less outcome oriented and just more relaxed in field.
Sometimes, I'm wondering what I'm gonna say on Day 2's, on the phone or through text. That happened when I first text her, but after that, it was like we just clicked. I can't even remember a moment when we've hung out in person and I've felt my mind trying to think of what to say, or trying to fill some void in the conversation. We just feel really at ease talking to each other.
Things are moving slower than I usually expect and part of me was frustrated with that initially. One reason, is that I feared she was gonna be like my first girlfriend. I was worried she didn't like sex, but the other night, we had a good talk that cleared things up. 2j's theory after the Day2 was that Math girl really liked me and when girls do that, they often want to make you wait. Sometimes they do this because they fear that if they hook up too quickly, they'll lose you. They also worry if you really like them or if just want to have sex them. I suspected I might have been dealing with some of these reasons so I tried to make her comfortable by telling her that I didn't just want this to be a one night thing. (I'll note that's a LMR tactic, but I really did feel that way. As I've said before, I practice the light side of the game. I don't like to lie and say something like that to help bust LMR if I don't really feel it.) It turns out she's worried about getting too attached. She's afraid things might break off at the wrong time and she'll end up screwing up her grades (and in this case, it would mean screwing up her future job prospects and career. She's not in college anymore, so this is different.)
2j pointed out too that if things are progressing, that I shouldn't be worrying about it anyway. Hearing her reasoning finally put me fully at ease with how things are going. Today, I also thought about Style's time line at the end of "The Game." Sometimes, you can or have to take things slower.
Community Conditioning?:
I feel like I've broken through much of social conditioning when it comes to sarging and relationship. At the same time, I wonder if I've taken on community conditioning. I told 2j that I'm probably just being stupid. I let community thinking say that if I don't hook up by tne end of a Day2 or Day3 or whatever, then I'm a chump.
When 2j and I were talking today, I actually dug into my memory. I thought about my old AFC days. This situation is no where near a chode type situation. Back then, I'd buy multiple dinners for girls, and at times even over a period of months, and get shit. Sometimes I got a kiss and something I didn't get anything at all. Math girl has always wanted to pay for herself at the beginning and things have progressed pretty far so clearly this situation is way different.
What's the alternative?:
2j made a final great point. He said, "What's the alternative?" The answer would be to say, "Peace out" because we haven't had sex and not see her again. That's just dumb. I like this girl and feel a connection to her. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Sex is great and all, but what I have here is more rare than sex. Besides, when you have a real connection with someone, sex is inevitable. I don't need to rush it.
To make the point to myself, I picture pulling a hottie from the Thursday Sound Bar scene. Yeah, I'd love to bang one those girls. If I did, and she had a shit personality, it would be fun, but I would just be left with emptiness at the end. It would help me with entitlement issues, but it wouldn't give me what my interactions with Math girl have given me thus far.
Math girl is a really cool, smart woman, and I'm gonna continue seeing her. I no longer feel the need to rush things on some community schedule. On the other hand, I'm not gonna do what JW did and commit to her at such an early point. If I embraced the dark side of the game, I probably could have sped things along if I had told her what JW told his girl. I could have told her that I was looking for a serious girlfriend and told her I really liked her, etc. I have told her that I like her, but I also told her that I'm still on a journey and I don't want to get married for a long time. I'll continue sarging, but my mind often drifts into thought about Math girl. I suspect sarging is gonna get better as I'll be less outcome oriented and just more relaxed in field.
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