Lost momentum, success barriers, self rationalizations

I didn't even want to write this entry but I feel like I have to be accountable.

I need one day to bridge weekends:
I'm starting to see that just going out on the weekends doesn't work for me.  I was back on track Saturday, and then by the time I went out again tonight, I had to push through cobwebs.  I think going out on Tuesday or something would help bridge the gap.

The other option is something I've always talked about but never have been able to follow through on.  I should just practice being social when I go to the gym or store.  My problem is that I just stay quiet when I'm going about my daily business and it's like I live two lives doing this.  I always try to justify it by saying that it takes so much energy to be friendly and outgoing all the time, but I suppose it would be easier if I actually made it a part of my daily routine.

Forcing through the cobwebs:
Fortunately, just a few days off doesn't kill my game.  I just had hard time getting started tonight and I ended up riding Seagull's coattails for the first few sets.  I eventually opened some on my own but I found myself in that familiar zone of hesitating too much.  I really hate when I do that.  I feel so much better when I'm just opening everything and not caring but it so hard to get myself to get in that zone.

Success barriers/Self rationalizations: 
I keep thinking about this girl that I winged with Seagull.  The girl was average looking.  She wasn't fat but she wasn't in shape either.  Regardless, I was somewhat attracted to her physically.  Beyond that, she was saying stuff that really echoed what I usually say in set.  She seriously said she liked looking up at the stars because it makes her feel small and makes her realize she needs to live life because we have such a short time here.  She even said she was going to the Field Museum and Planetarium the next day.

All I had to do was compliment her and then I could have just mentioned that Seagull and I were going to second Fridays and she should stop by.  I could have number closed.  For some reason, I didn't go for it.  Maybe it was because I was a little drunk.   I wasn't sure if I wanted to go for a number close so I didn't go for it.

Next, I knew I had window to move her to the dance floor as our conversation had stalled.  Seagull had moved his girl to the dance floor and I knew I should move mine since there was a lull in the conversation.  I just stood there and then my girl said they were all going to the dance floor.  I could have went with them but I left.

To my credit, I went downstairs to the bathroom.  My plan was to come back up and get back in the set.  I figured Seagull would still be in the set and I didn't want to just stand around.  I even had to tell myself that if I can't do stuff on my own with my wing in the venue, how am I going to go out in Minneapolis alone?

The self rationalization part is that I kept trying to convince myself that this set wasn't cute enough.  That's not true.  I liked her personality and I would have hooked up with her.  Yeah, there were better looking girls that I interacted with that night, but I should have taken the number.

I realized that for a bit, I didn't want to admit myself that I just sabotaged myself.  I also didn't want to admit that I was apprehensive about going back into the set and trying to isolate my girl and dance with her.  I went back in with Seagull several times but I just did a half effort.  I never really tried to isolate her again and get our conversation going nor did I try to actually dance alone with her.

Why didn't I want to go to the after hours:
At the very end of our evening, we were about sick of working street game.  I saw these three girls near us.  Two blondes were working on fixing this girls shoe, and one petite brunette was hovering around.  I heard them speaking Polish so naturally I wanted to talk to them.  My target was really feisty; like the over the top Eastern European strong willed woman type that my buddy Fatty dislikes so much.  These loud motorbikes came by and my target literally flicked them off and was yelling shit at them.

My target was friendly to me.  She seemed comfortable with my kino when I put my arm around her a few times.  The girls even liked my jokes I made.  One of them, I was afraid wouldn't hit off with them.  The blondes were messing around with the shoe for a long time and I said, "Wow, you guys are making me want to make a dumb Polish joke.  How many Polish girls does it take to fix a shoe?"  One of the blondes started giggling and said, "One and a half as I'm only half Polish."

This Irish guy came by.  He was drunk and started talking to the blondes.  My target commented on how cute he was.  That sucked but I could have still went with the set.  The drunk Irish guy put his arms around the blondes as they finally were done with the shoe and they all started walking to the after hours bar.

Now, I had found out earlier that they were going to the after hours bar but I didn't make an effort to tag along.  I can maybe say that was success barriers again and also because we were tired and didn't want to pay the cover.  That's dumb.  I got a Polish girl that I'm really attractive too and she's receptive enough.  I should have gone to the after hours.  I'm really not that tired now and it would be closing about now so I would have made it.

Switching energy levels:
Seagull and I had this weird energy  dynamic going at the end.  During that Polish set, Seagull was just standing there in spectator mode.  I commented later that I could tell he had given up on the night.  His demeanor was the same that I had last Friday when we spotted the lone wolf walking.  I didn't want to open any more, but he pushed himself and almost pulled.

The weird thing was tonight, after I let the Polish set go, I spotted a two set as Seagull and I were already walking our separate ways to our cars.  I pointed out the set as sort of a joke, and he went to go open them and I just stood there in spectator mode.

Street set to venue change: Pushing past your comfort zone

I'm going to be writing about this street set I was in on Saturday night.  It was actually the main event of the evening.  I've been reluctant to write about it probably because I don't like remembering the awkwardness at the end and also because I'm not sure exactly how I could have done better.   I got some ideas from talking with 2j immediately after and I've analyzed the situation several times in my head since then.   

Pushing past your comfort zone:

I wrote about how 2j and I were really pushing ourselves Saturday night.  This is how you learn.  Often, your ego wants to protect itself so you don't want to push things along.  You settle for playing it safe, or taking a small victory by taking a quick phone number or leaving the set.  Using my usual football analogy, you sometimes have to make some deep passes down field.  In sarging, you have to try to kino escalate, or move the girl around, or try a venue change, or try to go along with the group if she's leaving with friends.  Far too often, I've failed to move things along and settled for just trying to see how long I can stand in the same spot talking to the girl.  The later is what you try to do as a newbie, but I've done it far too many times probably as a form of state control and it's hurt my progress.

Continuing with the football analogy, though you can score a touchdown or gain big yardage, you also could get picked off.  You might have been able to get some yardage (maybe you could have gotten a phone number that actually panned into something), but instead you took some chances and screwed up.  

I'll say this, the awkwardness at the end of the set I'm going to describe was really difficult.  It was tough being in unknown territory and having to think up moves on the fly.  I'll say I definitely grew a lot forcing myself to do this.  On top of that, reaching into the unknown was a bit stimulating in retrospect.  It beats during the same old stuff and having regrets.  

Street game:

I told my wings that this evening, we should work some street sets while we worked our way to different venues.  In the past, we only did streets sets at closing time.  I thought back to a good set I had in Wrigley last year and wondered why I wasn't opening more streets sets.  I stopped this 2-set with a slightly overweight Latina girl, and this petite black girl.  My target was the cute black girl, and she was high buying temperature.  2j started talking to the Latina girl, and then I learned that he actually had met her a few years ago.  Later, he tell me that his experience was that she was a bit of a prude.  At the time, I thought they were joking around about having met before, but it turned out to have been the truth.  

I quickly had my arm around my target and she was comfortable with it.  I was in a good state as just prior to that, I had opened a different 2-set and this particular girl was really into me.  She seriously shocked both 2j and I in how she was so set on staying and talking to me.  Her friend was immediately trying to pull her away, but she kept resisting and even said, "No, I want to stay."  My wings tried to disarm the friend, but she was persistent and dragged my target away.  

2j later said he didn't want to come along with the set as he had be out with the Latina girl twice and couldn't get past the make out with her even though he got up to her apartment twice.  He did push me into going along with them and kept telling the girls to let me go with.

Ignore the friend or befriend:

I was torn with what to do with this set.  I don't have much experience venue changing with a 2-set.  I actually had more experience working 2-sets solo in general when I was going out alone but the past 2 years I've gotten too used to have wings around.  Early on, the Latina girl objected, "You're really touchy feely with my friend already!"  I think I screwed up because I dropped my arm from my girl when she said that even though my target was comfortable with it.  

As we were walking to this pizza place they had said they were going to, the Latina girl kept getting farther ahead and I had mini isolation with my girl.  The Latina girl kept stopping and giving us these piercing looks.  I remember saying, "Hey, slow down" and catching up to her.  My thought at the time was that I should engage her to try to disarm her.  I think this was a mistake as once I did that, my target started walking next to her friend and it seems like she lost some buying temperature at that point.  

The Bathroom state break:

The girls wanted to stop at this bar on the way.  As I think about it, maybe part of the problem was I was being lead around by this Latina girl instead of leading the set myself.  They were set on going to this pizza place (turned out to be a grilled cheese place that also serves pizza) so I had to follow them.  I remember 2j saying that sometimes you can just tag along instead of leading the set.  This is a sing of how I need to get into more of these sets so I have some idea of how to calibrate things.   

When we walked in, the Latina girl went to the bathroom and my girl followed.  I knew this was going to be bad.  The Latina girl had made comments about not wanting to let my target be alone with me.  I knew she was going to have a talk with her in the bathroom.  Later, 2j would tell me that if I had a feeling this was going to happen, I could have tried number closing my girl before she went in the bathroom.  The problem is that we literally walked into the bar and the girls immediately went into the bathroom.

Now, I wasn't completely passive here.  I knew that I had to be having fun when they came out, so I made sure to start getting into the music.  The place was doing karaoke, so I was also singing along to the song.  As the girls were in there awhile, and I knew it surely meant they were having a talk, I started to try to look for a random guy to bring into the set so I could distract the Latina girl or hook her up with some guy.  

When they finally came out, the Latina girl headed to the front door right away.  I stopped my girl and introduced her to the random guy by saying, "Hey, I found someone for your friend."

The Latina girl, though, was just standing impatiently by the front door so my girl walked out and I followed them.

Persisting:

We got to the corner of the street and one of the girls said, "Well, we're going to the [name of the grilled cheese place."  In the past, I likely would have just left as it felt awkward to keep following but I knew that just giving up doesn't get you anywhere.  I just crossed the street with them.  

The food place was a few doors down.  When we went in, there was a long line.  I tried to make conversation but neither girl was really responding.  I started to feel really awkward being there but I kept trying to talk.  My girl started playing Ms Pac Man, and I tried to tease her there because she sucked at the game.  I also tried giving her advice on how to play but she wasn't really responding.  

At this point, I wanted to leave but I figured I'd keep trying.  I kept trying to make comment, but then I also started to talk to this cute Irish looking girl that was behind me.  In retrospect, I should have just kept talking to her as she was initially responsive.  

In the end, we got up to the counter.  It seemed obvious the set was over but I kept talking to them.  My girl finally walked away from me and gave me bad vibes when she did so, so I just started to talk to the girl that had been behind me in line.  When she got her food, she went with her friend to go sit down.  If I had been real persistent, I would have tried to sit down with this new 2-set, but at this point, I felt shitty about the awkwardness of the whole situation that I just decided to leave.

I saw the Latina standing by the entrance and started talking to her.  I guess the black girl had gone to the bathroom or something.  I talked to the Latina girl a bit.  She actually was more responsive here.  At this point, I was thinking I should have engaged her more in the beginning.  I was thinking I could stick around till my target returned, but honestly, I had lost confidence and the set felt awkward so I finally just said, "Well, I'm going to the after hours bar.  Cya."   

Review:

This just proves how I need to push further along.  I need so much more practice in different situations.  As I said in the beginning, I need to push my comfort zone every time so I can gain later game experience and calibration.  This would have been easier had either of my wings come along.  As much I like going out with 2j, this is one area where he's weak.  You see, Seagull, he'll always try to help wing sets to the end, but 2j will only do it if it's an attractive girl that he really wants.  This was just a bad situation as 2j  knew he wasn't going to get anywhere in this set.  

I should be happy I pushed myself to go with the girls.  There were several sets a few weeks ago that Seagull and I lost because we weren't willing to even ask, "Hey, can I go with you?"  This time I tried to go with the set, and that's progress.  

I should also be happy that even though I was lost and uncomfortable at times, I kept trying to be proactive.  I tried to get a guy to distract the Latina girl.  I tried several strategic moves, so at least I was thinking on my feet, even if the moves turned out not work out.  At the very end, I tried working the other girl in the food place instead of just leaving food place completely.  

Making the poker table laugh with my creative AMOG lines

This happened awhile ago while I was playing cards.  I was listening to the commercial free Pandora on my phone (free and no commercials until 2014 on Windows mobile phones, and I have truly unlimited grandfathered internet) when suddenly this guy sat down on the other side of the table.  Immediately, I could tell he was one of this alpha guys that like to talk a lot and mess with people at the table.  He started with one guy next to him, and work his way around the table as he played hands against people.  I'll give him some credit.  He actually got one guy off his game and the guy started to dumb money.  On top of that, the guy actually had some real funny lines that got guys reacting to him and qualifying themselves to him.

I ignored him and just listened to the music but I knew that he was gonna eventually get to messing with me.  I got myself mentally prepared for it.  I knew I couldn't just completely ignore it.  I suppose that was one way to do it, but I figured my best move would be to be ready to respond to him.

Sure enough, within about 10-15 minutes, he got around to trying to mess with me.  I don't play many hands so he didn't have any hands to face me, and I really was on the complete opposite side of the table so it took him awhile to work his way to me.

He tries to get my attention:

AMOG:  Hey.  Hey.  (He loudly kept trying to get my attention.  He said a few more things than that.  I don't remember the exact lines, but it was clear to everyone at the table (including me) that he had to be talking to me.  Now, here's where I could have chosen to just ignore him, but my read was this would encourage him.)

I thought of Tyler's explanation of how you would respond to some obnoxious guy in a set or some social group trying to get you to show him the photographs you were showing to someone.  (The post was written back in the day when there weren't digital cameras in everyone's phone, and where guys would do stuff like Mystery's old photo routine.)  The obnoxious AMOG would come up and yell, "Hey, hey!  Show me your pictures."   Tyler said that the right way to respond would be to just wait a few seconds, and then say in a monotone voice "Here you go."

That's what I did here.  I waited for im to try to get my attention for like 10-15 seconds.  It was a few "Hey's" and some line that was descriptive enough to make it clear he was talking about me.  I then looked up slowly away, looked him straight in the eye:

Me: What's up, man?

Worked like a charm.

Other exchanges:
I actually should have written this right after it happens because I had some real zingers and I don't remember all of them.  I was in a great mood as I had a good night sarging prior to this.

I remember him trying to tool me about my haircut:
AMOG: Hey, where did you get your hair cut?

Most guys would lose status here as they would show that they were affected by the guy commenting about their haircut.  I would show in their body language or in their tone of voice if/when they responded.

I'll never forget the first time I successfully landed an AMOG line on a guy coming into my set.  I was so surprised when I saw his body language alter in a way to made it obvious that the line made him feel a little insecure.

After all these years, I finally got to the point where I really don't give a shit AT ALL what this guy thinks of my haircut.  My hair could have been all over the place and I could have needed a haircut and I wouldn't care what this guy thinks.  This is totally opposite to where I used to be years ago.  I used to be massively insecure to the point where I really think I had social anxiety.  I always relate the story of how I used to fear that people where judging me for how I was eating a burger at McDonald's.  Seriously...

I did an old game trick of using a DLV to try to show higher status.  I said, "Super Cuts $5 hair cut."   I actually meant to blurt out Great Clips.  What I said actually made no sense because that place where you watch sports while getting a hair cut (I think It's Super Cuts) actually costs more than $5.  The guy responded, "Oh, right on man.  I like watching the sports too while getting my hair cut."

Tries to make a comment about my phone:
AMOG: (Obnoxiously loud, trying to get my attention) Hey, is that an iphone?  Is that an Iphone?

This time I just ignored him.  A few minutes later, he repeated it again.  I said, "It's a Nokia."
AMOG:  (Obnoxiously again) Does it have bluetooth?
Me: (I wait a few seconds.  Then I respond, in a mostly monotone voice.)  What do you think?

AMOG: (About a minute later.  Obviously, trying to get me to flinch by making referring to the stereotype of Asian guys being tech geek types)  Are you one of those tech guys?
Me: (I didn't respond and just gave him strong eye contact.)  

Closing it out with lines that made the table roll out in laughter:
I'll never forget my last round at the table.  This was like when I had that one engaged girl in Lincoln Park totally loving my lines.  It's what I describe as a moment when I'm just being so create and funny and it's almost surreal.  On top of that, I really don't think the lines are that funny but somehow they make everyone laugh.  I remember walking away from the table and thinking about it on the drive home.

I remember telling myself, "I really don't give myself enough credit.  I can be really creative and witty."  I remember thinking then that I shouldn't be afraid to go into mixed sets while out sarging because of reference experiences like this.  I guess tonight's adventures, in addition to this past experience, will really drive me to push my boundaries in dealing with orbiters or AMOG's.

AMOG: (obnoxiously, of course) Hey!  Hey!  Do you have any gum?  Do you have any gum?  (He literally would repeat shit because I wouldn't respond right away.  According to Tyler's theory, this behavior makes it clear that I'm winning this battle because he's reacting more to me.)

 (He was saying this as it was obvious I was chewing gum as I chew 2-3 pieces and I really move my jaw a lot when I'm chewing gum.  Again, he was trying to get me to react in some way and the only thing that came to his mind was the gum.  Thinking back, it's funny how you can just pick anything and most guys will react and drop their status in relation to you.  In my case, it just wasn't going to work because I know this game too well.

I was especially on top of my game because I was making clever comebacks.  Another way to handle this would be to just ignore a lot or give monotone or breaking rapport responses.  As long as you didn't show any changes in body language that showed you cared what he thought of you, you'd be winning the battle.  The thing is, you don't get the whole table laughing with that method.)

Me:  Yeah.  (This was the first thing that came to mind, and I really was surprised at the response of the people at the table.  I looked up.   I was in a hand, and this guy actually isn't supposed to make comments while a hand is being played as it wasn't a heads up hand.   If I recall correctly, it was a 3-way hand with another guy, the AMOG and me.  We acted in that order as I had position.  I bet after they both checked.  The other guy check raised me.  The AMOG either called or folded.  I had to think for a second but I ended up folding. I remember looking up and making eye contact with the AMOG.  I smiled.)  

Me: (I opened my mouth a bit, in a way that the gum would be visible.  I reached towards my mouth like I was going to grab a piece.)  Do you want some?

(I remember that 1-2 guys groaned in disgust.  Several guys were laughing.  One of the guys next me had initially groaned in disgust and then started laughing.  I really didn't think it was that funny as I was delivering it, but it felt so good to be dominating this AMOG battle and making the entire table roar out in laughter.  I should mention that a happy table is usually a better table than a quiet table.  What I mean is that people usually are looser with their money at a loud, happy table, and tight with their money on a quiet, serious table. )

Closing bit:
I had to go as I was tired and I think I had to get up for something that next day.

Me: (This was like 2 hands after the gum chewing exchange.) Unfortunately, guys, I have to go.  Good night every one.

AMOG:  (takes off his hat and tips it foward) Do you want my hat?

I have to give the guy credit because he actually is pretty good.  It makes no sense, but this works on 95-98% of the guys.  I mean his random lines increase his social status by lowering the social status of most intended targets.  Again, the simple reason is because they react to it and it hits their self esteem.  I didn't really know what to say.  That was my immediate response.  I could have just walked away.  The battle was over and I was leaving anyway.

I really was in the zone as a second later my response came.

Me: You should autograph it.  It might be worth something some day.

The table busted out laughing again.

AMOG:  (It took him a few seconds.  It took him a lot longer for this response than any other of his other comebacks).  Do you have a pen?

I'll close by giving him credit.  I thought it was a good response.  This guy was relentless and somehow I was outwitting him each time.  I wonder how long I could have kept it up.  I've dealt wit ha few other guys at the table before.  Usually, they'll leave me alone after 1-2 clever comebacks because they realize I'm not an easy target.  This guy persisted the most out of any guys I've dealt with in the past, but it just shows how creative and witty I can be, especially when I'm in massive state.

Lost some AMOGing skills, but I still have some moves

I've been pushing myself a lot harder lately compared to just a few weeks ago, but I've been shying away from mixed sets.  Today, 2j and I were both in a state where we wanted to really push ourselves to face more difficult situations.  2j wanted to force himself to approach the hottest sets.  I also have that goal, but I'll usually do it unless it's a mixed set situation.  In that area, we both agreed we needed to do more of those sets.  

We're reluctant to open mixed sets because we fear facing the situations that arise, but it's a necessary skill, especially if you want to excel with the hottest girls as they'll almost often have orbiter guys around.  The hot girls will have alpha guys around as well which makes it more difficult.  A deeper seeded explanation of this fear is from evolutionary biology.  I believe Tyler and Mystery explained it as it being from the caveman days where if you tried to get the girls and you weren't the real alpha guys, you might get hit in the head with a rock for your efforts.   

I can think of many times in the past two years for I dealt with AMOGs successfully.  It was almost always used as defense: meaning an orbiter or some natural came into my set trying to tool me, thinking I was an easy target.  Alpha guys like to tool others guy to increase their status: in pickup, you can learn to do that as well, but I don't like doing it as offense.  I consider AMOG skills like fighting skills, you use it in defense, not to start shit.  

I suck at AMOGing now:

Tonight, 2j pointed out this high buying temperature girl out to me.  It was this chubby girl with this decent looking blonde friend.  I passed on the opportunity because it was early in the night and I wasn't attracted to the high buying temperature girl.  A few minutes later, some natural, sensing the high buying temp went in and started talking to the friend.  2j and I started giggling about the situation and 2j said I should go talk to the friend.  I knew that was the right move.  

As I got near the set, I heard the guy introducing himself to the ugly high BT girl.  The cute friend looked bored.  I came in, but I didn't open strongly.  I was a bit meek, and the guy saw this and immediately put his arm around the girl.  He tried to tell me something like this girl was with him.  

Okay, I suck, but I don't suck that badly.  As a newbie, I would have walked away, afraid of the guy.  I knew I was on the wrong end of this battle as I had started off badly.  The proper way to get into the set was to open like I already knew the blonde.  The guy would have been less confident in busting me out had I done this.  The next best move would have been to pen louder and with a stronger breaking rapport voice so I actually got the girls attention.   The natural was fast enough that when he saw me having a problem getting my target's attention, he immediately went to try to solidify himself in the set.  

It's still amazing what you can get away with:

I immediately went into my AMOG mode and standard Tyler AMOG lines that I remembered.  I patted the dude on the back and called him my little big brother.  I also put my arm around him.  It's funny that we have this fear of this sets, but I shouldn't fear them.  I know how to handle these situations and because I keep the fun, happy vibe going even when I'm not completely comfortable, the guy can't act like an asshole and try to fight me.  Tyler explains the social dynamics of this in his old "AMOG tactics" newsgroup posts.  Thinking about it, it is funny how you can get all physical with dumb shit like that and not get into a fight.  

I write that "I suck" because I lost this battle.  I was reacting too much to the guy and I wasn't as calm as I used to be doing this.  Still, I'm glad I went into this set because it showed me how I had lost a bit of the skill, yet still have enough to hold my own.  I also feel more compelled to force myself into these mixed sets.  I have to remember that I need to practice this skill again to have the tools available when I need them.  

I used to get more practice when I had I less "skills":

My immediate thought after losing the AMOG battle was how I used to be super good at this stuff.  This was even three years ago which seems like a life time ago.  I have to again thank Tyler's old newsgroup posts for giving me the theoretical framework to develop the AMOG skills.  As I told Prodigy, my ability to deal with AMOGs and also to stick up for myself in general came from nothing but Tyler's posts and field experience.  I used to have low self esteem and got picked on constantly in high school .  Now I can hold my own.  

I have to thank my rough childhood and teenage experiences for propelling me to learn pickup and to learn social dynamics.  I have to thank all those AMOGs out there who used to come in my sets when I was a total newbie.  I had the stones to open sets when I started this journey years ago and then guys would get confidence from seeing me open and then come into my sets.  Initially, they'd just scare me off with their presence.  Thanks to meeting that Dahunter from the forums years ago, I learned I had to stay in the sets even when guys came.  Staying in meant that I had to face dealing with these guys stealing my sets, and through practice and with Tyler's theory and tactics, I slowly developed my AMOGing skills. 

I haven't had much practice lately, as I said above, because I haven't been forcing myself into mixed sets.  Since my game is so much better than it was as a newbie, guys usually don't feel confident coming into my sets.  My verbal game can be so good that the guys seems me and thinks I either know the girl, or she's so engaged by what she's saying that there's no way he'd think he could get in.  This is with shitty kino.  When I'm actually kinoing, no guy except RSD Ozzie, or students in his bootcamp, or someone like Crazyfoot would actually try to open the girl I'm talking to.  Seriously, think about it, how many guys are gonna try to open a girl when I have my arm around her, or have my hands on her hips as she facing me and gazing into my eyes?!   

I'll just close by saying that what was especially effective in AMOG battles the past two years was that guys trying to tool me had idea of what hit them.  They'd stereotype me by my looks and think they'd easily tool me, and they'd get obliterated with AMOG skills they didn't see coming.  Alas, that wasn't to be this past evening.  

It feels good to try to escalate: Last Saturday

I neglected to write my report from last Saturday.  I just wrote about that flying beer bottle.  In terms of sarging, my main memory was opening this lone wolf at the after hours.   It turned into a two set when her sister came in and I ended up deciding to try to go for the sister.  It turned out to be a mistake because from what Seagull told me, I probably would have clicked more with the original girl had I stayed with her.  She was more of the intellectual type, and I prefer that, but I never got to experience that side of her.  She just didn't seem as fun as the sister at the time so I went for the sister.

I moved the sister to the dance floor even though I didn't want to do it at the time.  I'll give myself credit for making the right move even though I was reluctant to do it.  You just have to force yourself to do stuff sometimes even though you'd rather not.  I remember G telling me years ago that when he was faced with doing things right with hots girls: like having to be really alpha and leading, he'd make himself do it even though he didn't really want to do it.

I got her on the dance floor.  I was a bit hesitant to try to escalate.  That was a mistake.  It's smoother when you just trust yourself and go for it.  Still, I went for slow escalation but she ended up rejecting me.  That sucked at the moment because she pulled off me and jumped on some other guy that she found more attractive at that moment.  Still, I knew that it was the right move.  I don't go out to be a dance partner for a few hours standing a few feet away from the girl.  I've done that far too many times to know it doesn't lead to anything.

Despite being a bit stung by the rejection (hey, I'm human), I knew it was for the best.  I know the pain would have been greater had I not tried to escalate.  I really do regret not going for the right moves more than getting rejected at this point.  In the heat of the moment, though, I sometimes don't feel that way, but I need to remember references like this to push me to try my best in the face of discomfort or a desire to protect my ego/ practice state control.  

How a few feet or seconds can change your life

I've added a new story to the stuff I say in set.  Seagull and I were at Barleycorn in Wrigley last week when we almost got hit by a bottle.  Some asshole drunk had chucked a bottle upstairs in the dance floor area for whatever reason.  We noticed because I felt a splash of beer and heard a bottle crash on the floor.  It missed us by just a few feet.  Seagull later said he had a shitty night and I told him we had to put things in perspective.  We had a good night because we missed getting hit by that bottle; also we had pushed hard in most of our sets.  I probably would have had to go to the ER for stitches or for a concussion had that bottle hit me in the head.  My week would have sucked for sure had that happened.

I think about how I almost got t-boned a few years ago by a drunk.  I stopped at this stop sign for a few seconds longer than I normally would have when this car barreled through the intersection at far above the 25 MPH speed limit.  I have often forgotten that lesson since then, but it's a good reminder of how I should remember how lucky I have been at time in my life.  I might have died or be disabled from that accident had I not stopped a few seconds longer.  T-bone accidents can cause serious injuries especially when your in a car like mine that doesn't have side air bags.

Seagull and I also have been in his car on two different occasions where we almost got hit by a car spinning out of control on the expressway.  Again, how different our lives could have been.  

The need to return to sets & it's all clear

I was walking back to my car last night and I asked myself how I was going home alone again despite my supposed skills.  It amazes me that sometimes that several aspects of my game actually are solid, dare I say, super solid even.  For example, I surprise myself with how creative I can be with what I say in set, and I am really getting good at forcing myself to do those dance floor and other more difficult openers.  I also know how to just put out the fun vibe.  I realized though that I lack in key areas that are hindering my progress.

My main sticking point right now is with persistence, and kino, as I've mentioned numerous times.  I need to go back into sets that end for dumb reasons.  I'll have several sets that are on but end for various reasons not having to do with the girl not liking me.  2j and Seagull prodded me to go back into this set where the girl was into me, but the friends dragged her away.  It was early in the night and someone neither of my wings could keep the friends occupied.  I didn't want to go in.  2j told me to go in and try for a number close . I decided to force myself to go back in because I knew I'd regret it if I didn't.

When I went in, the girls were dancing.  I reengaged my girl verbally and she and the one friend she was dancing in front of looked at each other, giggled, and then I was back in.  Here is where I made a mistake of not trusting my reads.  I just went for the number close as 2j suggested even though I felt that it was on but it wasn't on enough to get the number.  She resisted the number and then I made one more verbal attempt to address her reservations and then left.  I knew the move was not to go for the number at that point and just keep running the set, and I also knew when I got rejected on the number that the move was to just stay in set and go for it later.

2j told me afterwards that even though I got rejected, it was good that I went back in.  He was right, and the lesson stuck with me even more that I thought it would at the time.

It's All Clear: The Opportunities That I missed:
Let's go back to that walk back to the car.  All the missed opportunities came back to me.  You see, naturals would have persisted a bit more in the good sets that I had throughout the night and might have made something happen.  I'm hurting myself badly by not going back into sets.  I like the football analogies so what I'm doing is the equivalent of putting a good drive together, seeing the holes in the defense and clicking with my team and having to punt or getting a fluke turnover, and then just not trying to drive the ball any more afterwards.  

Even before the set I mentioned above, I opened these two really tall (over 6ft without heels) sisters while 2j and Seagull were in a set.  The set was going well.  The older sister was comfortable enough with me that she said she could only go to two bars because, "Don't tell anyone, but my sister is underage and using my ID and I only trust going to two places that  I go to regularly, but we'll be at (a specific after hours bar) later."
My dumb ass didn't even realize until I was laying in bed hours later how that was a big IOI.  I'm supposed to try to figure out logistics by asking stuff like, "What are you doing later?" (which I often forget to ask) and this girl is offering up after hours logistics.  I should have stopped by that bar later and try to open them again.

My mistake, though, came even sooner.  A few minutes later, the girls wanted to go to the bathroom.  This was a legitimate bathroom trip and not the blow off kind.  The had a bunch of beers at the table and my girl told the sister to stay and watch the beers, but I discovered the couple standing near us was with them and they asked them to watch the beers so I could go together.  I should have engaged the couple when the girls left, but it was early in the night, so I just wandered off and hit the dance floor.  Seagull and 2j were still in their set at this time.

Now, I obviously should have gone back into the set but I didn't.  This would be a recurring theme of the night and it shouldn't be a surprise as I follow this pattern far too often and then I wonder why I don't get laid.  I remember opening this set during closing time street game.  This girl in this 4 set was really high buying temperature but, being on of those ADD drunk girls, she wandered off.  Later, while waiting for Seagull to work this solo set, I saw the 4 set was still around but I didn't return.  I should have tried again.

The SNL's and amazing nights happened when I had more confidence in persisting:
That's the lesson I need to take from this and I'll try to work on this next time I out (hopefully tonight but I don't know how awake I'm going to be in 12 hours with 3 hours sleep).  A final lesson came at the very end of the night.  The crowds had about wound down.  Seagull and I spotted a lone wolf walking across the street.  We talked about opening her.  I had decided I was done for the night but Seagull forced himself to cross the street and open her.  The next thing I know, he's walking with her, holding her hand.  He later messed it up for dumb reasons even after kissing her several times.   The lesson is that I should have pushed the last set as that could have been me.