Wednesday was a good day for me overall. Sidegames' mom took me and Sidegames out to eat at Gibson's. I love that place and the steak was excellent. Initially, I felt uncomfortable accepting such a pricey meal for free, but Sidegames told me she can more than afford it which is way obvious, so I gratuitously accepted. After that I went to get a haircut. I had a coupon and I wanted to have a haircut for this wedding reception on Saturday. I was in a talkative mood so I talked to the hairdresser. I told him I was going out and he ended up telling me about this free open bar at this Antipasto bar in Addison. I almost didn't believe him, but it was true. Well drinks are free from 9-10PM on Wednesdays. I had driving by that place countless times but never stopped in as I always figured it was full of Italian dudes that know each other and nothing else. The deal was indeed true. I only had one drink cause there were no sets and I wanted to get to my main bar afterwards. I think the place would be cool to hang out with friends or to bring a date, but it was terrible for sarging.
Deep connection:
I had one of those amazingly deep conversations tonight. It was completely unexpected and I should be grateful for when this happens even if it doesn't fit my goal of getting laid. I got to the bar really early as it's an after hours place. Unlike last week, I opened immediately. I opened this 3-set that was seated near the dance floor. I had a decent conversation but the girl I wanted was very quiet. I was gonna try to push things along but I wanted to get a beer so I excused myself. I ordered my drink, and then decided to work the room. When a place is empty, I like to be the social guy and meet most of the people there. I talked to this set of two guys both named "Mike." I actually remembered their names cause how could you forget two Mikes. I then opened this 2-set. I found out they were sisters. The one girl was very attractive. The other girl wasn't. Of course, I wanted the hot one, but some guy she knew was there with them. I suppose I could have try to eclipse the dude, but I started talking to the sister instead. I figured it was warm up.
We really hit it off and I started to have a deep conversation that almost rivaled the one I had with this girl Kaisie last year. The girl was really into me and kept touching me and looking into my eyes. I had tried to number close her about getting pizza earlier but she balked at tried to facebook close me. The connection was obvious, but then she dropped the bomb on me. She told me she had been married since she was like 16. There was no ring so I couldn't have known. She said we could keep talking as friends and I actually want to keep in touch: it's rare that I meet someone with whom I can have such a deep spiritual conversation.
I guess I should sarge:
We exchanged phone numbers cause they all had to leave. We had such a connection that it was a huge state break when she left. If she were single, we probably would have been making out. I stood there for a second after she left and then I knew I had to keep opening even though it was unlikely I'd have such an intense experience again this same night.
Logistically, the set was there:
I keep thinking about this cute 2-set that I opened by the dance floor. I had a decent conversation going. At one point, the brunette gave the blonde money to buy drinks. I said, "Wow, you're generous. Drink on you tonight?" She then told me that her roommate (the blonde) had lost her job and she was taking her out as the blonde doesn't go out much now. It's obvious the blonde wants to hook up with someone. I even got isolation but I didn't really get any sparks flying between us. I suppose my dance game was lacking. I had a chance while isolated to dance with her. I danced by her, but didn't make it more intimate. The friend came back and hung out. I was dancing by them but then they left and I just dance by myself.
Later, I saw the blonde on the dance floor. Now depending on what the story was, I was either working at a disadvantage or just a complete idiot. She was dancing and some guy was dancing near her. She wasn't really grinding with him. I had a chance to dance by her and then pull her in. I thought about dancing close to her and then spinning her so she wound up next to me. I sort of danced by her and then the guy started to get closer. She ended up leaving after that song. I tried to grab her but it didn't work.
Now the brunette had told me some guy friend was meeting them there. Now this dude with the blonde could have been that guy's friend, or just some orbiter. I could have sealed things with dance floor game twice. Now that I'm writing this, I guess I could have just approached again. The one time I saw her off the dance floor, she was standing in between two dudes and I didn't have the state at the time to go in and pull her from them or even open her.
Mistake-weak claw:
I noticed that today I was more hesitant to really sink in the claw and leave it on the girl. I still used kino a decent amount but I really planned on working the kino in Ozzie's book this week. I think my problem was initially, I didn't want to whip out the fast kino when there were only two 2-set at the bar. The fast kino builds attraction fast but can also lead to some massive bust outs. I'm fine with that, but I didn't want to do that when there were only two sets there at the start. I suppose it doesn't matter. I could bust out big and then just wait till the place filled up. I'm gonna work on this again Thursday though. I really want to be totally dominant with the kino like Ozzie describes.
Success: Stopping a moving set, leading, hand holding:
I had this flash of brilliance. Moments like this are evidence of how far my game has come in the past two weeks. Moving sets are notoriously hard to open. It's hard to get the girl to notice you when she's just walking by. Using Tim's claw/net opener, showing intent, and my vastly improved inner game has made a huge difference in moving sets for me. Lately, my success rate with moving sets seems to be equivalent to my success rate of just opening normally. More often that not, the girl will stop and listen to me and she often stays as well. Then it becomes similar to a situation where I had come up and opened.
I was standing near the edge of the dance floor. I saw this attractive blonde coming my way. She was actually more attractive than that blone in the 2-set I described above. I grabbed her arm and pulled her into me using the Tim claw/net method and did the Intent-intro opener. The move and opener is so money because it shows masculine dominance and it turns her on a primal level. My body language, eye contact, and vibe match so that's probably why it's working. We start talking. She mentions she was on her way to the bathroom but keeps talking. It's a little loud, so I decide to move her. Sometimes I wonder about what reasons to give for a move. Ozzie says it's simple, you just give BS reasons like, "Come her, I want to show you something," "Come with me to the bar," Or "Let's go dance." I know that logically you don't need a real reason, but sometimes I still have let it hold me back. This experience is reference experience for how easy the isolation move can be. I said, "Let's go to the bar." I grabbed her hand, and let her to a quieter spot about twenty feet away.
I love when I lead a girl around the club by hand. It feels so money. In order for me to start pulling, I need to consistently be moving girls around the bar. Ideally you make a ton of moves around the club. The explanation from the community is two fold. First, she gets used to following your lead and seeing that nothing weird happens when she does so and in fact, fun happens. When you lead her for food extraction or try to pull her home, she'll be used to that positive pattern of following your lead. The other reason is the old Mystery reason that says that a girl feels closer to you when she has memories of you in different places (the different areas of the club and/or different venues).
It surprised me she just took my hand and followed me. I know I'll feel more confident doing this move now that I have recent positive reference experience with it. We talked some more, but she really did have to go to the bathroom. I told her I'd be on the dance floor.
I was gonna approach her again but...
I was hoping to see her again as things were going well between us. I wonder if I should have actively looked for her as I didn't see her for about an hour. I finally spotted her, and it was similar to the 2-set above. I swear it was something like my girl, another girl, and three guys. There might have only been two guys which I guess is worse in some ways. I suppose I was chicken again. When I'm in state, I'd open her again as deep down, I know I can deal with the guys and eclipse them as I've done it before. They might have been orbiters or some random guys sarging her. Actually, as I think back on it, it was dumb not to approach. Sure, I might need to really need to be in state to pull her off them depending on the situation, but I remember she was just standing near them. It's not like one guy had his arm around her. I needed to go in and pull her from those dudes and I probably could have unless it was her boyfriend.
They are advanced moves:
I imagine I'm being hard on myself. As I've said in the several entries about Wednesday, I have shown some brilliance and made some breakthroughs. It isn't exactly an easy move to open the 2-set and this girl in the situations they were in, but I'm at the level where I should go in for sure. I'm actually at level where I have a decent chance of getting the girl even if it's a shitty situation. I think back to a set I had last year where I pulled a girl off some guy she was grinding with on the dance floor. That was fucking awesome, btw. I'm obviously the same guy and in many ways, I'm in improved version of myself.
If I want 3somes, hot girls etc..
then I have to push my comfort levels even further. I need to get through these easy problems so I can be faced with more advanced problems. Again, on the one hand, I'm making good progress, but I want to hammer this into my head. I can advance even faster the more I do the right thing and push myself. I go back into these sets as I put the hard work into them already. I extract the girls from Tuesday to the restaurant. I vow to keep trying to do better.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Text game follow up
I figure I should give a follow up on what's going on with my number closes. I stopped hearing from that girl I was trying to turn into my pivot. It was the girl with the 5 year boyfriend, so that makes sense. The girl from Friday told me she'd be on vacation till the middle of the month. When I started texting her on Sunday, she replied quickly and seemed enthusiastic about meeting up. I texted the girl from Tuesday while I was at this free open bar. She replied right away. My goal was to set up a meeting on Sunday. She told me she was off all weekend so she should be free. I was gonna text back but then I got distracted by other things. I tried calling her cause I starting driving to another bar and couldn't text. She didn't pick up. I left a message and I didn't want to seem needy by texting her after that. I'll text her on the train when I'm on the way to the free seminar. I hope she'll meet up with me Sunday.
I can't pull water from stone and what does he have that I don't?
I remember that around 2:30am, I was sitting at my new Wed place, and I knew I was being lame. I was standing by the bar, drinking water, and then playing with my phone. I was telling myself, "WTF is this?" Realistically, most of the sets were gone. It's not like I hadn't tried. As you'll see, I had some really good moments at well, and I can see the lessons tonight clearly. I know that I was being too hard on myself. I think I got pissed cause I saw that hot pyro blonde girl again. I think of something TD/Owen said in his video where there's a girl so hot that you just get pissed. I hate the rating system, but this check is probably just an HB9, meaning she'd be common or a 7-8 in LA or in NYC but out here, she against was the hottest girl in the club. She was wearing these tight shorts and a tight cutoff t-shirt, so I really got to see her body this time.
When she was done working she was dancing with some guy that probably met her out there. He was probably just an orbiter. Still, obviously someone is fucking her. Every hot girl has someone or multiple guys banging her. In my head, I was asking myself, what does that guy have that I don't? You know my inner game is much better when the answer I honestly give now is "game" and practice. Ozzie says not to measure progress every day but every month. Either way, my progress has been exponential this month. In the past, I would have thought of superficial reasons why I didn't measure up: money, looks, etc but I know that was all social programming BS. I truly believe that if I keep going out regularly, I soon will be pulling lots of girls, including those seeminly elusive HB9's, like this chick.
Near closing time, I was alone again, but I looked around and knew I couldn't feel disappointed. By that time, there were like 5 girls in the entire place. It's not like it was a Friday night in the city where there are nonstop sets even at that late hour. I can't make someone out of nothing (or the cliche in the title.)
When she was done working she was dancing with some guy that probably met her out there. He was probably just an orbiter. Still, obviously someone is fucking her. Every hot girl has someone or multiple guys banging her. In my head, I was asking myself, what does that guy have that I don't? You know my inner game is much better when the answer I honestly give now is "game" and practice. Ozzie says not to measure progress every day but every month. Either way, my progress has been exponential this month. In the past, I would have thought of superficial reasons why I didn't measure up: money, looks, etc but I know that was all social programming BS. I truly believe that if I keep going out regularly, I soon will be pulling lots of girls, including those seeminly elusive HB9's, like this chick.
Near closing time, I was alone again, but I looked around and knew I couldn't feel disappointed. By that time, there were like 5 girls in the entire place. It's not like it was a Friday night in the city where there are nonstop sets even at that late hour. I can't make someone out of nothing (or the cliche in the title.)
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Guys want to # close me & Had the food extraction but didn't close
On my way to the bar, I was talking to a buddy of mine and we talked about solo sarging. It's a skill I neglected for awhile cause I had several good wings for the past few years. I knew that I could do it as I started out solo. It totally different than before. I had a blast last night, just like I did last Wednesday.
I started off slow. I ordered my half price pizza and my pitcher of beer for $2. The way I drink beer, I was drunk right off the bat but the pizza help moderate things. These two Latino guys were chilling next to me and watching the game. People who know me would be surprised that I didn't finish the pizza. I had a slice left so I offered it to the guys next to me. They were full so some random dude on my left ate it. I went to the washroom and when I came out, it was sarging time.
Random wings:
The secret to solo sarging, I think, is that you talk to a few guys. It helps get you in state and I always say that you have a base(s) of operation to return. You also have wings if you need them. I walked out by the dance floor and talk to this group of black guys. They were cool and I hit it off with this one guy. I opened two sets near that group but nothing clicked. I walked back to the sports bar area and opened this chick that was seated near my original starting part. It was on the other side of the Latino dudes. The guys were shocked. I was just some quiet guy eating my pizza and then they see me talking to the girls. They knew I didn't know that set. That set went to the dance floor and then I opened these two Latina chicks. I got to talk to my target cause the Latino guys did a good job of keeping the other girl occupied.
After that, I went out to the dance floor and found that black guy I was friendly with. I told him to point out girls and I'd open them for us. He points out these two cuties on the dance floor. Of course, that's the hardest set for me to open. Being drunk and in state, and not wanting to look chicken, I went up to the girls. I think I high fived them. Then I starting dancing next to this girl with glasses. My wing started dancing with the other girl. Soon we were grinding with these girls. We went on for two songs and then my girl said she didn't want to be rude but she wanted to dance with someone else.
I'm still learning how to dance with girls. I got solo dancing down. I'm not an expert but I look competent when I'm by myself and I'll dance on a full or empty dance floor. I gotta say that it's nice to dance with hot girls. The girl I was grinding with had a nice ass and I love having my hands around her tiny waist. It's too bad I didn't hit it off with her cause it would be nice to be holding onto that waist while having sex with her.
My type of blonde:
The set of the night was this cute blonde I opened in the sports bar area. I spotted her as I was going to the bathroom and when I came out, I opened some random set, and then I opened this girl. She's taller than me. I think she was wearing heels but she's at least 5'9" or taller regardless. Of course, that's a huge turn on for me. She wasn't thin but she wasn't really fat either. Her body is attractive enough for me. More importantly, she loves travel as much as me and she's been to some cool places. She told me she's going to Spain for the last quarter of the year and we hit it off talking about that cause I was there many years ago. Beyond that, she likes foreign films which I have an interest in as well.
In this set, I made some good moves until the very end. We were standing and then the friends wanted to go sit down. I know there were times recently where I would have not felt confident enough to sit down. I followed them and sat next to my girl. I got some kino on my girl and she gave me an enthusiastic hug when I requested one later on. I was a little more aggressive with the claw today but I have to admit that it's still not there as long as it should be if I'm following Ozzie's model (which was the plan tonight). The girls gave me a beer and I chated for a bit but then the friends wanted to go in back. I number closed the girl shortly after sitting down. I had one of those moments where we realized we'd have something cool to do if we hung out again and I just went for the phone number. This is in contrast to last Wednesday when I had the opportunity to number close the Polish chick when we realized we both love going out for burgers yet for some reason, I didn't pull the trigger last week. The friends wanted to go in back and I decided not to follow this time. The girl hugged me again and our faces got close. We kissed on the cheek which was okay as I didn't feel like the kiss close was ready.
I saw them by the dance floor. I danced with her and the friend by these speakers. The third friend seemed shy and wasn't really dancing so I didn't dance with her. They wanted to go outside for a smoke so we seperated again. Later, I'd seem them dancing again so I went up and danced with my girl and the other friend again. I tried grinding with her but it was a little awkward. She didn't like the rear facing position which I prefer too so that made it harder. I excused myself cause I was getting tired. I think that was good as it shows I can go off and do my own thing. I danced with them again and then my girl went to the bathroom. They told me they were coming back and asked me to stay. I always hate waiting for girls in the bathroom unless I'm one-on-one with the girl so I said I'd be out on the dance floor. I saw them return but I kept dancing by myself as I have having fun.
The wings:
After I left my girl at the table I wandered around. I saw the Latino dudes and the one guy said, "Hey man, let me get your number." I hung with them for a bit and then we got separated and then I found the black guys. My buddy there wanted my number too. It's somewhat amusing I guess that these guys want to hang out with me. I have turned into the club party guy. What a stark contrast to the guy I used to be before I started this PUA journey.
At the end of the night, the one Latino dude had a girl with him. I couldn't remember if she was the girl I opened for him or not. He was trying to take her to my place. I asked if she had a friend. He claimed she did but I didn't see her. I would have done it if we had a 2-set.
Should have been a food extraction:
It was late at this point. I went up front and they had already closed the area. The bartender still had my ID and credit card. The guy cleaning told me to go to the office area. I took care of that and I thought my girl had left so I sent her a text message. I walked back to the dance floor and I spotted my set. She was actually showing the text to her friends when I approached. She was happy to see me. I remembered the RSD line (I think it's from Brad), "So what are you doing later?" She replied, "I think we're going for pancakes."
Of course, the move would have been to oversell Clarke's and then bring this set there. The huge move would have been to bring the Latino dude and his girl there too. Instead, I did something stupid. I told the girls I had to go. I said goodbye to each friend and then to my girl. WTF?
I knew I had fucked up as soon as I started walking out but I didn't want to seem needy and unsure of myself by going back. I could have bought myself some time by just hanging out and dancing with my girl some more. They were about 15 minutes from closing anyway. It would have been easy to set up the big food extraction. I had the other Latino guy to occupy the friends too.
Just going with the girls would have worked. The friends could have heard my verbal game and probably would have liked me more. I could have gotten more kino with my girl too. If I played my cards right, I could have tried to drive her home and go back to her place.
If I venue changed the Latino guys the Latino guys girl(s), and this 3-set, that would have been the shit. Imagine the social proof from bringing all these people together. It would have been cooler too when it came out that I had started the night alone.
My only explanation for my actions were that I guess I haven't totally accepted the reality that this could all be possible. Tonight was a step in the right direction and I'm sure I'll pull the trigger next time. I thought I was pulling the trigger when I dropped the Brad line but then the wrong part of me started talking instead. I'm about 95% sure the girls would have come with me to Clarke's too which makes this more of a disappointment.
Anyway, I had an great night that could have turned into something awesome. I should be able to meet up with this girl again. I hope I can make it happen. It still amazes me how I turn a solo night into a total blast. I love the social person I have become.
I started off slow. I ordered my half price pizza and my pitcher of beer for $2. The way I drink beer, I was drunk right off the bat but the pizza help moderate things. These two Latino guys were chilling next to me and watching the game. People who know me would be surprised that I didn't finish the pizza. I had a slice left so I offered it to the guys next to me. They were full so some random dude on my left ate it. I went to the washroom and when I came out, it was sarging time.
Random wings:
The secret to solo sarging, I think, is that you talk to a few guys. It helps get you in state and I always say that you have a base(s) of operation to return. You also have wings if you need them. I walked out by the dance floor and talk to this group of black guys. They were cool and I hit it off with this one guy. I opened two sets near that group but nothing clicked. I walked back to the sports bar area and opened this chick that was seated near my original starting part. It was on the other side of the Latino dudes. The guys were shocked. I was just some quiet guy eating my pizza and then they see me talking to the girls. They knew I didn't know that set. That set went to the dance floor and then I opened these two Latina chicks. I got to talk to my target cause the Latino guys did a good job of keeping the other girl occupied.
After that, I went out to the dance floor and found that black guy I was friendly with. I told him to point out girls and I'd open them for us. He points out these two cuties on the dance floor. Of course, that's the hardest set for me to open. Being drunk and in state, and not wanting to look chicken, I went up to the girls. I think I high fived them. Then I starting dancing next to this girl with glasses. My wing started dancing with the other girl. Soon we were grinding with these girls. We went on for two songs and then my girl said she didn't want to be rude but she wanted to dance with someone else.
I'm still learning how to dance with girls. I got solo dancing down. I'm not an expert but I look competent when I'm by myself and I'll dance on a full or empty dance floor. I gotta say that it's nice to dance with hot girls. The girl I was grinding with had a nice ass and I love having my hands around her tiny waist. It's too bad I didn't hit it off with her cause it would be nice to be holding onto that waist while having sex with her.
My type of blonde:
The set of the night was this cute blonde I opened in the sports bar area. I spotted her as I was going to the bathroom and when I came out, I opened some random set, and then I opened this girl. She's taller than me. I think she was wearing heels but she's at least 5'9" or taller regardless. Of course, that's a huge turn on for me. She wasn't thin but she wasn't really fat either. Her body is attractive enough for me. More importantly, she loves travel as much as me and she's been to some cool places. She told me she's going to Spain for the last quarter of the year and we hit it off talking about that cause I was there many years ago. Beyond that, she likes foreign films which I have an interest in as well.
In this set, I made some good moves until the very end. We were standing and then the friends wanted to go sit down. I know there were times recently where I would have not felt confident enough to sit down. I followed them and sat next to my girl. I got some kino on my girl and she gave me an enthusiastic hug when I requested one later on. I was a little more aggressive with the claw today but I have to admit that it's still not there as long as it should be if I'm following Ozzie's model (which was the plan tonight). The girls gave me a beer and I chated for a bit but then the friends wanted to go in back. I number closed the girl shortly after sitting down. I had one of those moments where we realized we'd have something cool to do if we hung out again and I just went for the phone number. This is in contrast to last Wednesday when I had the opportunity to number close the Polish chick when we realized we both love going out for burgers yet for some reason, I didn't pull the trigger last week. The friends wanted to go in back and I decided not to follow this time. The girl hugged me again and our faces got close. We kissed on the cheek which was okay as I didn't feel like the kiss close was ready.
I saw them by the dance floor. I danced with her and the friend by these speakers. The third friend seemed shy and wasn't really dancing so I didn't dance with her. They wanted to go outside for a smoke so we seperated again. Later, I'd seem them dancing again so I went up and danced with my girl and the other friend again. I tried grinding with her but it was a little awkward. She didn't like the rear facing position which I prefer too so that made it harder. I excused myself cause I was getting tired. I think that was good as it shows I can go off and do my own thing. I danced with them again and then my girl went to the bathroom. They told me they were coming back and asked me to stay. I always hate waiting for girls in the bathroom unless I'm one-on-one with the girl so I said I'd be out on the dance floor. I saw them return but I kept dancing by myself as I have having fun.
The wings:
After I left my girl at the table I wandered around. I saw the Latino dudes and the one guy said, "Hey man, let me get your number." I hung with them for a bit and then we got separated and then I found the black guys. My buddy there wanted my number too. It's somewhat amusing I guess that these guys want to hang out with me. I have turned into the club party guy. What a stark contrast to the guy I used to be before I started this PUA journey.
At the end of the night, the one Latino dude had a girl with him. I couldn't remember if she was the girl I opened for him or not. He was trying to take her to my place. I asked if she had a friend. He claimed she did but I didn't see her. I would have done it if we had a 2-set.
Should have been a food extraction:
It was late at this point. I went up front and they had already closed the area. The bartender still had my ID and credit card. The guy cleaning told me to go to the office area. I took care of that and I thought my girl had left so I sent her a text message. I walked back to the dance floor and I spotted my set. She was actually showing the text to her friends when I approached. She was happy to see me. I remembered the RSD line (I think it's from Brad), "So what are you doing later?" She replied, "I think we're going for pancakes."
Of course, the move would have been to oversell Clarke's and then bring this set there. The huge move would have been to bring the Latino dude and his girl there too. Instead, I did something stupid. I told the girls I had to go. I said goodbye to each friend and then to my girl. WTF?
I knew I had fucked up as soon as I started walking out but I didn't want to seem needy and unsure of myself by going back. I could have bought myself some time by just hanging out and dancing with my girl some more. They were about 15 minutes from closing anyway. It would have been easy to set up the big food extraction. I had the other Latino guy to occupy the friends too.
Just going with the girls would have worked. The friends could have heard my verbal game and probably would have liked me more. I could have gotten more kino with my girl too. If I played my cards right, I could have tried to drive her home and go back to her place.
If I venue changed the Latino guys the Latino guys girl(s), and this 3-set, that would have been the shit. Imagine the social proof from bringing all these people together. It would have been cooler too when it came out that I had started the night alone.
My only explanation for my actions were that I guess I haven't totally accepted the reality that this could all be possible. Tonight was a step in the right direction and I'm sure I'll pull the trigger next time. I thought I was pulling the trigger when I dropped the Brad line but then the wrong part of me started talking instead. I'm about 95% sure the girls would have come with me to Clarke's too which makes this more of a disappointment.
Anyway, I had an great night that could have turned into something awesome. I should be able to meet up with this girl again. I hope I can make it happen. It still amazes me how I turn a solo night into a total blast. I love the social person I have become.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Need to kino even more
I started reading RSD Ozzie's book "The Physical Game." I should have gotten this sooner. There is some solid advice there that I really think will take my game to the next level. I also realized that the set I called the "Gibberish escalation" set was what I should focus on from Saturday.
I'm kinoing faster and more often than I ever have in the past. I just need to take things a little further and lead even more. When I used the claw, which is basically putting your arm around the girl, I'd let it go right away. In his book, Ozzie advises leaving it there even if she tries to get away. Of course he has a disclaimer that there's a certain point where you have to stop. If she tells you to fuck off, obviously, you let go. The other point that struck me was how you lead the girl to the dance floor. I've been trying that dance floor isolation move a lot the past week and I couldn't get any girls to go. He says that you need to grab her hand and pull her to the dance floor. She'll probably say no and resist, but it's usually just token resistance.
A memory from my AFC past actually highlights this dance floor move for me. I lusted over this redhead that lived near me for a long time. We used to hang out and one day we all went out to the club. This natural that I hung out with came out too. This was way before I knew about the community. This guy always got girls and I hung out with him cause he was fun and because I was hoping to learn how he did it. Anyway, I remember asking the redhead to dance. She didn't want to. Later, the natural guy asked her. She said she didn't want to but then he grabber her hand and said, "Let's go dance" and of course she ended up following him to the dance floor.
Girls want to be lead:
This is not a new idea of course but I'm really starting to internalize that fact. I think about that SNL that I got in New Years and how I just lead her all over the club. I know that I need to do that but the past week I've been struggling to figure out how to do it again. I've made a lot of progress. I've actually been making myself try to isolate and escalate in every set. Now that I have ideas of how much farther I need to lead things, I think I'm gonna start doing a lot better.
This shouldn't even be that hard of a change. I now see what I should have down with that petite brunette in the gibberish set. I should have put my claw on her. I should have lead her to a different part of the bar so I could actually hear her.
I can't wait to start practicing my new physical game.
I'm kinoing faster and more often than I ever have in the past. I just need to take things a little further and lead even more. When I used the claw, which is basically putting your arm around the girl, I'd let it go right away. In his book, Ozzie advises leaving it there even if she tries to get away. Of course he has a disclaimer that there's a certain point where you have to stop. If she tells you to fuck off, obviously, you let go. The other point that struck me was how you lead the girl to the dance floor. I've been trying that dance floor isolation move a lot the past week and I couldn't get any girls to go. He says that you need to grab her hand and pull her to the dance floor. She'll probably say no and resist, but it's usually just token resistance.
A memory from my AFC past actually highlights this dance floor move for me. I lusted over this redhead that lived near me for a long time. We used to hang out and one day we all went out to the club. This natural that I hung out with came out too. This was way before I knew about the community. This guy always got girls and I hung out with him cause he was fun and because I was hoping to learn how he did it. Anyway, I remember asking the redhead to dance. She didn't want to. Later, the natural guy asked her. She said she didn't want to but then he grabber her hand and said, "Let's go dance" and of course she ended up following him to the dance floor.
Girls want to be lead:
This is not a new idea of course but I'm really starting to internalize that fact. I think about that SNL that I got in New Years and how I just lead her all over the club. I know that I need to do that but the past week I've been struggling to figure out how to do it again. I've made a lot of progress. I've actually been making myself try to isolate and escalate in every set. Now that I have ideas of how much farther I need to lead things, I think I'm gonna start doing a lot better.
This shouldn't even be that hard of a change. I now see what I should have down with that petite brunette in the gibberish set. I should have put my claw on her. I should have lead her to a different part of the bar so I could actually hear her.
I can't wait to start practicing my new physical game.
Gibberish escalation can work and pushing hard can mean harsh blowouts
Tonight was disappointing in that I had hoped to get a kiss close or better, but I know that's not a realistic goal. The goal each time is to try to push my comfort zone while tackling specific sticking points and to have fun. I also set the goal of opening those sets that I would have feared opening in the past. The one disappointing thing is that we wandered around the upstairs of Barleycorn for like a 40 minute period where we weren't doing anything but just standing around and value scanning the room. That was super lame. Seagull and I tried to figured out what caused that. I guess it was just too crowded and we let prior failures in that room affect us. We had opened a few sets there that either didn't go anywhere or got interrupted by other BS like friends, people bumping into us or the girls, etc.
Other than the, the night went well. I opened just about every girls that I found really attractive. The one exception was this tall blonde at Barleycorn when we were in a our bad state. I opened several girls that towered over me. I love tall women and I used to be too scared to open them. Lately, I've just been telling myself to open them even though I'll probably get busted out. The next step will be for me to open them and start believing that I can get them. I should use that tall brunette from Friday as reference material demonstrating that tall girls can like me. I opened a tall brunette at Moe's that actually went well except it stalled for a second and I basically gave up instead of plowing.
I felt like I pushed interactions more than I normally would have. There are two examples where I think I could have done better.
Let's go to Moe's:
About 3/4's of the way through the night, we were in the back area of Sluggers. Seagull opened this 2-set and I just danced by myself while I waited for him to hook it. I came in the set, and I remember that the set said early on and then one time later, that they were planning on going to Moe's Cantina. We had already been there and I had forgotten until our debriefing later that the girls had mentioned this. This was the first set that I really felt things were on this night. It seemed like a long time as so much happened before this set. Suddenly, Seagull's girl started gathering her things and then mine chugged her drink and they left. I guess I should have number closed this girl as I felt we had a connection. I think I should be number closing a bit more as I've not be going for that at all. I've gone for numbers in sets that seemed really well. Other times, I feel like I'd likely get the number, but it seems like waste of time. I'm more interested in trying to build my skill set for SNL's, but I should be number closing a few more girls so I have some prospects.
Besides number closing, Seagull and I agreed later that we should have tried to go with them to Moe's. Initially, I was surprised the set was leaving, but Seagull reminded me that the girls had been saying the whole time that they wanted to go to Moe's. When we had them hooked, we should have said, "Finish your drinks and let's go to Moe's." I bet they would have gone with us.
Gibberish escalation:
I wanted to say this was earlier in the night, but it had to have been after the last set. I remember the set above as being the first good set of the night. I guess we returned to Moe's. I remember I opened this petite brunette who was probably 5'3". I remember using the Intent Intro opener. I had a hard time hearing her though. I've lost hearing from being at too many clubs with no earplugs. Working against me in this case was the girl was speaking too softly and she was short. Most girls are close enough to my height that it's easy for them to put their mouth by my ear, or they talk loud enough. This girl might have been even shorter cause I remember she had to stretch a little to talk into my ear.
The funny thing is that I just kept plowing with basically nonsense and she kept staying. I think she said something about a boyfriend or going back to her friends early on. I asked, "Is your boyfriend here?" She said, "No." Then I think I used RSD Tim's, "It's just you and me tonight." I think I also said Tim's, "You're my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes."
I really don't remember how the conversation went. I remember that was beginning to turn away from me 3-4 times and I reeled her back in until I finally lost her at the end. The key thing was that it wasn't like she was facing away from me while this was happening. I felt like thing were on. There was a lot of sexual tension between us. I remember starting to get a hard-on too, which rarely happens to me in field unless I'm grinding with some girl or we're making out. She was completely facing me. I remember we were looking into each others eyes and smiling. I'm sure I had my arm around her too at times. Seagull said he remembered seeing me with this girl and he commented that we looked really into each other.
I don't remember how I eventually lost her. Part of me thinks I needed to kiss her. That might have sealed the deal of her staying with me. I guess I should have started stroking her hair and then her face. I feel like that's the big test for me now. If she's cool with that, and we've been gazing into each others eyes and I feel like it's on, then it's time to kiss. It just felt too quick, but that was because I haven't made it my reality that things can happen that fast. It was also the conversation being gibberish that made me doubt things.
There's excessive gaming again. I have to get it out of my mind that I need to game so much. I knew things were on and I escalated well, but I should have tried to kiss her. I can remember other sets when things were totally on even faster8than they were in this set. Also, this is proof that body language and kino escalation can be more powerful than verbal.
Risking awkward moments and blowouts:
I want to stress for myself that I really did push my comfort zone. I remember I opened this fat blonde at Sluggers near closing time. I opened her with the intention of pushing things fast to try to extract or kiss close. I really went all out. Seagull and I used to talk about cavemaning fat girls just to see if we could pull them. We'd say we were gonna do that, but then we'd game them as normal. I didn't really caveman here, but I was pushing myself hard and I got busted out.
There was some brunette at Sluggers that I tried to push for venue change to after hours. She ended up telling me to go away.
Finally, I opened this 3-set at Flatiron at last call. That's near 5am since it was an after hours place. They said they had just gotten off work so they probably were bartenders from some other place nearby. I didn't have time to really game as the lights came on. I decided to try a food extraction even though I knew chances were slim. The girls tried to tell me that the place I wanted to go was closed. They were full of shit cause we checked it out later. (We wanted to make sure it was open in case we need to venue change a set there on a future Saturday night.) I started brainstorming ideas for a food place. I actually was brainstorming for myself and not really for them. This one girl said, "Hey! You can leave now. Bye" and she waved me away. That hurt at the time and actually hurts now. I'm not used to the harsh rejections any more, but that's what happens when you push hard or push your comfort zone.
Pushed just right or not enough?:
I was about to end the entry but I remember this set at Flatiron. Seagull had gone to open these two blondes. I was standing there when this brunette walked by. She was probably like 5'10" as she was only a bit taller than me. I did the web claw to pull her into me and I gave the Intent Intro opener. She was hooked immediately. We had strong eye contact and we started to talk about travel. I felt like it was on but she suddenly said, "I'm actually look for a friend." Normally, I would have just given up. I knew the right move was to say, "Hey, let's to find her." She said, "No, that's okay." I then said, "Hey, remember, though, it's just you and me tonight."
She walked away. A few minutes later, I saw her standing by herself. As I was about to approach again, I saw some guy talking to her. Seagull said it seemed like the guy knew her. We came back later on and he was still talking to her, or so we thought as we never really got close enough to actually examine the guy in detail.
I'm torn concerning this set. I opened well and I tried to push things along when I normally would have given up. Perhaps I should have approached her when she was alone there. I could have even tried again when the guy was there. I guess if I approached, I would have known what was up. It just seems weird that she walked away when things were on. I don't think I said anything that should have ruined things that quickly so it probably wasn't me at the first encounter.
20 minutes of plowing:
Just as we were about to give up, I opened this 2-set. This was right before I opened the bartenders at closing time. Somehow I ended up talking to this girl who said she was Italian but I thought she was Latina for some reason. She listened to me intently and kept good eye contact but she just wouldn't invest in the conversation. Seagull came in and he seemed to be doing well so I kept trying to plow more. Every time I stop talking, she wouldn't say anything. At first, I kept plowing, but the second and third time I just let the silence sit. They said sometimes that will make the girl talk. The last time, I tried to talk about her rings. I tried to kino her hand at that point and she pulled away so I figured the set wasn't going anywhere. She did add a cool bit about how she actually made one of the rings. Like she actually welded the metal which I think was cool. In a final attempt, I gave her some BS Statement of interest. I said something like, "I guess it's that' mysterious silent type that's drawing me in. You seem opened minded too so I guess that's why I like you." She gave me this weird look. We sat in silence again and then she finally got up and talked to these two guy friends that had been hovering near by.
I assume they were just guy friends cause they never came in and said anything. They just let us run the set. Seagull ended up number closing his girl. She really like him. She kept kinoing him. I'm glad he hit it off cause it meant that my 20 minutes of plowing at least yielded something in the end.
Other than the, the night went well. I opened just about every girls that I found really attractive. The one exception was this tall blonde at Barleycorn when we were in a our bad state. I opened several girls that towered over me. I love tall women and I used to be too scared to open them. Lately, I've just been telling myself to open them even though I'll probably get busted out. The next step will be for me to open them and start believing that I can get them. I should use that tall brunette from Friday as reference material demonstrating that tall girls can like me. I opened a tall brunette at Moe's that actually went well except it stalled for a second and I basically gave up instead of plowing.
I felt like I pushed interactions more than I normally would have. There are two examples where I think I could have done better.
Let's go to Moe's:
About 3/4's of the way through the night, we were in the back area of Sluggers. Seagull opened this 2-set and I just danced by myself while I waited for him to hook it. I came in the set, and I remember that the set said early on and then one time later, that they were planning on going to Moe's Cantina. We had already been there and I had forgotten until our debriefing later that the girls had mentioned this. This was the first set that I really felt things were on this night. It seemed like a long time as so much happened before this set. Suddenly, Seagull's girl started gathering her things and then mine chugged her drink and they left. I guess I should have number closed this girl as I felt we had a connection. I think I should be number closing a bit more as I've not be going for that at all. I've gone for numbers in sets that seemed really well. Other times, I feel like I'd likely get the number, but it seems like waste of time. I'm more interested in trying to build my skill set for SNL's, but I should be number closing a few more girls so I have some prospects.
Besides number closing, Seagull and I agreed later that we should have tried to go with them to Moe's. Initially, I was surprised the set was leaving, but Seagull reminded me that the girls had been saying the whole time that they wanted to go to Moe's. When we had them hooked, we should have said, "Finish your drinks and let's go to Moe's." I bet they would have gone with us.
Gibberish escalation:
I wanted to say this was earlier in the night, but it had to have been after the last set. I remember the set above as being the first good set of the night. I guess we returned to Moe's. I remember I opened this petite brunette who was probably 5'3". I remember using the Intent Intro opener. I had a hard time hearing her though. I've lost hearing from being at too many clubs with no earplugs. Working against me in this case was the girl was speaking too softly and she was short. Most girls are close enough to my height that it's easy for them to put their mouth by my ear, or they talk loud enough. This girl might have been even shorter cause I remember she had to stretch a little to talk into my ear.
The funny thing is that I just kept plowing with basically nonsense and she kept staying. I think she said something about a boyfriend or going back to her friends early on. I asked, "Is your boyfriend here?" She said, "No." Then I think I used RSD Tim's, "It's just you and me tonight." I think I also said Tim's, "You're my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes."
I really don't remember how the conversation went. I remember that was beginning to turn away from me 3-4 times and I reeled her back in until I finally lost her at the end. The key thing was that it wasn't like she was facing away from me while this was happening. I felt like thing were on. There was a lot of sexual tension between us. I remember starting to get a hard-on too, which rarely happens to me in field unless I'm grinding with some girl or we're making out. She was completely facing me. I remember we were looking into each others eyes and smiling. I'm sure I had my arm around her too at times. Seagull said he remembered seeing me with this girl and he commented that we looked really into each other.
I don't remember how I eventually lost her. Part of me thinks I needed to kiss her. That might have sealed the deal of her staying with me. I guess I should have started stroking her hair and then her face. I feel like that's the big test for me now. If she's cool with that, and we've been gazing into each others eyes and I feel like it's on, then it's time to kiss. It just felt too quick, but that was because I haven't made it my reality that things can happen that fast. It was also the conversation being gibberish that made me doubt things.
There's excessive gaming again. I have to get it out of my mind that I need to game so much. I knew things were on and I escalated well, but I should have tried to kiss her. I can remember other sets when things were totally on even faster8than they were in this set. Also, this is proof that body language and kino escalation can be more powerful than verbal.
Risking awkward moments and blowouts:
I want to stress for myself that I really did push my comfort zone. I remember I opened this fat blonde at Sluggers near closing time. I opened her with the intention of pushing things fast to try to extract or kiss close. I really went all out. Seagull and I used to talk about cavemaning fat girls just to see if we could pull them. We'd say we were gonna do that, but then we'd game them as normal. I didn't really caveman here, but I was pushing myself hard and I got busted out.
There was some brunette at Sluggers that I tried to push for venue change to after hours. She ended up telling me to go away.
Finally, I opened this 3-set at Flatiron at last call. That's near 5am since it was an after hours place. They said they had just gotten off work so they probably were bartenders from some other place nearby. I didn't have time to really game as the lights came on. I decided to try a food extraction even though I knew chances were slim. The girls tried to tell me that the place I wanted to go was closed. They were full of shit cause we checked it out later. (We wanted to make sure it was open in case we need to venue change a set there on a future Saturday night.) I started brainstorming ideas for a food place. I actually was brainstorming for myself and not really for them. This one girl said, "Hey! You can leave now. Bye" and she waved me away. That hurt at the time and actually hurts now. I'm not used to the harsh rejections any more, but that's what happens when you push hard or push your comfort zone.
Pushed just right or not enough?:
I was about to end the entry but I remember this set at Flatiron. Seagull had gone to open these two blondes. I was standing there when this brunette walked by. She was probably like 5'10" as she was only a bit taller than me. I did the web claw to pull her into me and I gave the Intent Intro opener. She was hooked immediately. We had strong eye contact and we started to talk about travel. I felt like it was on but she suddenly said, "I'm actually look for a friend." Normally, I would have just given up. I knew the right move was to say, "Hey, let's to find her." She said, "No, that's okay." I then said, "Hey, remember, though, it's just you and me tonight."
She walked away. A few minutes later, I saw her standing by herself. As I was about to approach again, I saw some guy talking to her. Seagull said it seemed like the guy knew her. We came back later on and he was still talking to her, or so we thought as we never really got close enough to actually examine the guy in detail.
I'm torn concerning this set. I opened well and I tried to push things along when I normally would have given up. Perhaps I should have approached her when she was alone there. I could have even tried again when the guy was there. I guess if I approached, I would have known what was up. It just seems weird that she walked away when things were on. I don't think I said anything that should have ruined things that quickly so it probably wasn't me at the first encounter.
20 minutes of plowing:
Just as we were about to give up, I opened this 2-set. This was right before I opened the bartenders at closing time. Somehow I ended up talking to this girl who said she was Italian but I thought she was Latina for some reason. She listened to me intently and kept good eye contact but she just wouldn't invest in the conversation. Seagull came in and he seemed to be doing well so I kept trying to plow more. Every time I stop talking, she wouldn't say anything. At first, I kept plowing, but the second and third time I just let the silence sit. They said sometimes that will make the girl talk. The last time, I tried to talk about her rings. I tried to kino her hand at that point and she pulled away so I figured the set wasn't going anywhere. She did add a cool bit about how she actually made one of the rings. Like she actually welded the metal which I think was cool. In a final attempt, I gave her some BS Statement of interest. I said something like, "I guess it's that' mysterious silent type that's drawing me in. You seem opened minded too so I guess that's why I like you." She gave me this weird look. We sat in silence again and then she finally got up and talked to these two guy friends that had been hovering near by.
I assume they were just guy friends cause they never came in and said anything. They just let us run the set. Seagull ended up number closing his girl. She really like him. She kept kinoing him. I'm glad he hit it off cause it meant that my 20 minutes of plowing at least yielded something in the end.
I wanted to smash this guys face into the concrete
Fortunately, I didn't get into a fight, but it's the first time in a long time that I met someone that just made me angry. I can see how people get into fights when it's possible for me to get so angry at a bar. Keep in mind that I'm an easy going person and I've never gotten into a fight at the bar ever. I'm in fun party guy mode and it's hard for anyone to snap me out of it. I can actually remember the last time I started to feel that adrenaline rush cause there's a chance I could get into a fight. I was out with one of my college buddies and he was having this confrontation with guy. I tried to cool things down and then this drunk asshole tried to start shit with me. I actually laughed at him cause he wanted to prove how tough he was and he was like 6 inches taller than me. He ended up getting kicked out of the club.
Obviously fighting is stupid and doesn't prove anything. What's been proven is that size matters; that's why there are weight classes now in mixed martial arts for example. Yes, skill can make up for size, but if two people are equally skilled, if someone weighs more, they have an advantage. Obviously, there are exceptions. This used to bother me for the longest time, but that's just the way it is. That's why weapons exist. I tiny Vietnamese soldier can take on a giant American soldier when they have guns.
I guess I should explain the story. Seagull and I were out in Wrigleyville. I opened this two set that had this slightly fat blonde who I guess I would do and this cuter girl with brown hair. The set is going okay but it's not really on. Seagull's girl actually seems to like him more. Suddenly, this guy about my height shows up. He tells Seagull not to touch the girl and Seagull isn't even really touching her. He gives this hard look at me. I maintained my party guy mood and said, "Hey man, what's up?" He kept this serious staredown going. I'm like, "Dude, cheer up. It's Saturday night. Try to have fun." I went top shake his hand and he didn't even move. Kept with the dumb staredown. I think I might have even said, "What's up with you?" I think the brunette said that he didn't want us talking to them (meaning the girls.)
The guy was being a total cock. Keep in mind again, that I have no problem with other guys at the bar. Even if I actually overstepped my bounds, I can and have made things cool. If it's some asshole, I usually can just use AMOG tactics to make them look stupid. In retrospect, I probably could have used some of the ones designed for some guy trying to act too alpha and trying to start a fight. I had to use it several years ago and I still remember them. The thing is that we weren't doing anything wrong. We were just talking and these girls weren't even worth all this bullshit.
I held eye contact with him for about 10 seconds and then I just said, "Whatever man." Then I walked away.
The thing is that thinking about the guy just made me angry periodically for a few hours. I actually had to tell myself to relax and sarge. Tyler/Owen talked about how some people are just so negative that they just pull you into that frame. He talks about how he wanted to punch some manager at Denny's one time, and he's a person who actively tries to be nonjudgmental and understanding. Similarly, I'm a guy who tries to be in a fun mood when out no matter what. It's so rare for me to be pulled into negative shit, and the prick was able to do it to me.
I guess I handled things well. I did the smart thing. I didn't get into a fight. I avoided it, and I also I felt like I held my ground enough to show myself and this guy that I wasn't cowering away in fear. I held my ground, tried to lighten the situation, and I walked away cause there was nothing to prove. I walked away because I wanted to and not because I was scared of the guy. The guy was an asshole, but I guess I give out the right vibe. It's not like the guy tried to really verbally escalate it. It's important to me not to just be cowering away in fear as that is what I used to do growing up. I used to give the "pick on me" vibe and another thing the game has given me is that it's made me more confident and comfortable in all situations that I give off a vibe for people not to mess with me. People don't really start fights with me or try to verbally jab at me anymore.
Obviously fighting is stupid and doesn't prove anything. What's been proven is that size matters; that's why there are weight classes now in mixed martial arts for example. Yes, skill can make up for size, but if two people are equally skilled, if someone weighs more, they have an advantage. Obviously, there are exceptions. This used to bother me for the longest time, but that's just the way it is. That's why weapons exist. I tiny Vietnamese soldier can take on a giant American soldier when they have guns.
I guess I should explain the story. Seagull and I were out in Wrigleyville. I opened this two set that had this slightly fat blonde who I guess I would do and this cuter girl with brown hair. The set is going okay but it's not really on. Seagull's girl actually seems to like him more. Suddenly, this guy about my height shows up. He tells Seagull not to touch the girl and Seagull isn't even really touching her. He gives this hard look at me. I maintained my party guy mood and said, "Hey man, what's up?" He kept this serious staredown going. I'm like, "Dude, cheer up. It's Saturday night. Try to have fun." I went top shake his hand and he didn't even move. Kept with the dumb staredown. I think I might have even said, "What's up with you?" I think the brunette said that he didn't want us talking to them (meaning the girls.)
The guy was being a total cock. Keep in mind again, that I have no problem with other guys at the bar. Even if I actually overstepped my bounds, I can and have made things cool. If it's some asshole, I usually can just use AMOG tactics to make them look stupid. In retrospect, I probably could have used some of the ones designed for some guy trying to act too alpha and trying to start a fight. I had to use it several years ago and I still remember them. The thing is that we weren't doing anything wrong. We were just talking and these girls weren't even worth all this bullshit.
I held eye contact with him for about 10 seconds and then I just said, "Whatever man." Then I walked away.
The thing is that thinking about the guy just made me angry periodically for a few hours. I actually had to tell myself to relax and sarge. Tyler/Owen talked about how some people are just so negative that they just pull you into that frame. He talks about how he wanted to punch some manager at Denny's one time, and he's a person who actively tries to be nonjudgmental and understanding. Similarly, I'm a guy who tries to be in a fun mood when out no matter what. It's so rare for me to be pulled into negative shit, and the prick was able to do it to me.
I guess I handled things well. I did the smart thing. I didn't get into a fight. I avoided it, and I also I felt like I held my ground enough to show myself and this guy that I wasn't cowering away in fear. I held my ground, tried to lighten the situation, and I walked away cause there was nothing to prove. I walked away because I wanted to and not because I was scared of the guy. The guy was an asshole, but I guess I give out the right vibe. It's not like the guy tried to really verbally escalate it. It's important to me not to just be cowering away in fear as that is what I used to do growing up. I used to give the "pick on me" vibe and another thing the game has given me is that it's made me more confident and comfortable in all situations that I give off a vibe for people not to mess with me. People don't really start fights with me or try to verbally jab at me anymore.
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