I realized I like Tyler/Owen cause I'm a lot like him

I've been reading "The Game" again.  I finally got to the part of the book where Tyler of RSD enters the scene.  Style casts Tyler as the bad guy in the book.  The funny thing is that it was this role that made me seek out Tyler and RSD material in the first place.  I remember I loved his material cause I'm a theory junkie and even Style admits that no one could deconstruct social interactions as well as Tyler.  Tyler's old "25 points post" and "AMOG techinques" helped me out a ton when  I was first starting out. 

What I realized this time around was how similar I was to Tyler when Style describes his first night out with Tyler.  Style had taken Papa and Tyler out to this club to watch one of his girlfriends do a burlesque   show.  Some of Style's female friends were at the outing too.  Style said he introduced Tyler and Tyler basically said hi and sat silent the remainder of the time.  When asked why he didn't talk, Tyler later said that he didn't know what routines Style had used on them already and he didn't want to risk repeating anyway. 

Reading this section again reminded me of two experiences I had with Dahunter early on in my sarging career.  Dahunter was this aspiring mPUA that became an instructor for MM about 6 months after I had stopped sarging with him.  One time, I was at Dahunter's apartment to pick up to go sarging and he had three girls there.  He hadn't mentioned this to me and was surprised when he opened the door.  I didn't know what to say so I said hi and immediately went to the bathroom.

An even worse experience was when I went out with him to this PUA meeting at this bar.  There were a ton of good looking girls but I didn't want to open anyone.  Like Tyler in Style's story, I didn't know what to say.  I was afraid of repeating routines or even just the opener.

Of course, I can laugh about this now.  The memories are another reminder of how far I've come in the game.  I guess I've made two posts abou in some way ot my growth in the game cause I want feel entitled to have the girls that are attracted to me now.  I realize it's inner game that's holding me back.  In my head, I know I focus too much on my screw ups instead of my strengths and successes. 

The second example above is really a huge change.  I think back to when I first started sarging.  All I had were routines and canned material.  I knock that stuff now, but I realize how necessary it was back then.  I used to be so nervous when talking to girls.  I forced myself to approach but I remember my heart thumping in chest cause I was so nervous.  The routines gave me something to say when I was so nervous I'd have a hard time trying to control that and come up with stuff to say on the fly.  With the routines, I had something consistent to say so I could focus my resources on controlling that nervousness.  Also, the routines also artificially created positive responses in girls that served to help pump my state and give me reference material that girls could react positively to me and be attracted to me. 

I had a breakthrough moment back then that I recognize now which involves openers.  I used to use the tent opener.  There was an opener on the list of openers on fastseduction that read simply, "Would you date a guy who lived in a tent?"  I liked how ridiculous it sounded and wanted to use it.  I ended up creating a whole routine and opened countless sets with it.

Nowadays, I not to use as much canned stuff, though I find myself telling many of the same stories in sets.  The thing that's different is that these aren't canned stories or routines that I memorized from reading archives or from a website.  They are real stories from my life and the few routines I use are ones I created from my own imagination that mimic pickup methods that work.  For example, I have two or three routines I use to create attraction through "future adventures projection."  That method is basically that you create some funny or creative situation when a girl pictures you two doing something together. 

The proverbial cart before the horse problem & Rereading "The Game"

After careful analysis, I narrowed down my sticking points from the past week.  First, I created unrealistic expectations for myself.  While this actually helped me get in state on slower nights, it paralyzed more for a time when surrounded by the hots girls at "State" bar Saturday.  This is a minor problem though as I'm experienced enough to break out of crappy state and I was still able to have some great sets later in the evening.  My biggest sticking point right now comes down to "Excessive gaming" and not pushing the kiss close. 

RAS & The Game:

I started reading Neil Strauss' book The Game again last night.  It's been over five years since I read it.  TD/Owen talks about "Reticular Activation System."  RAS is that part of you that knows to focus on certain things that will help you at this point in time.  That's a basic definition.  What it means for when I'm reading The Game, is that my mind is focused on different elements now than it was when I first read it.  Back then, I focused on the material about opening girls and the idea of transforming from AFC to PUA.  When I was reading yesterday, I found myself focused on my current sticking point.

Approach Artist to PUA/Limiting Beliefs:
 I realized that currently I'm stuck in the stage that Style was in when he took that trip to Serbia.  My approach game is awesome.  Sets just blow open like that 5-set at the Apartment on Saturday.  I really don't give myself enough credit sometimes.  I wish I had a video of the way these two girls were looking at me in that 5-set.  Whenever I have those moments of doubt in the future, I have to remember those girls.  At that moment, they wanted me.  My presence just ignited their desire. 

This is where I don't give myself enough credit.  It's like I can understand how a girl would really like me after we've talked for a few minutes.  It's the logical part of my mind that accepts that.  My mind says, "Yeah, I have cool things experiences and I create good conversation," so of course they like me.  My mind, though, still has a problem accepting the reality that I just described in the last paragraph.  Deep down, I have to admit that my reality hasn't accepted that I can just walk up to a set, and within a few seconds, they totally want me.

I suppose there's a part of me that still believes all that social conditioning bullshit that held me back all my life.  For example, I guess part of me still buys into looks mattering.  I'm actually a great example of how game has nothing to do with looks.  I'm not horrible looking.  I'm decent looking.  I actually look a few years younger than my actual age.  I'm overweight, though.  There are way better looking guys in the club than me.  Using social conditioning logic, it makes no sense that girls could totally want me when I walked up.   Of course, none of that matters.  As TD/Owen says in The Blueprint, "Girls are not as shallow as you, guys."  I know part of me must still buy into this BS and that's holding me back. 

When you analyze my approach from the right perspective, it all makes sense.  I actually have to think about these qualities as I do almost all this stuff naturally now through my years of experience.  When I walk up, I have confident body language and good eye contact.  I am totally calm and present.  (I'm surprised how I usually not nervous at all.)   Absent are the negative quality I used to display, for example, I no longer seek validation from the set or qualify myself. 

I have to accept it as a part of my reality that I'm now attractive to girls.  I don't have to keep gaming girls to get them to want me, it happens naturally and often sooner than I expected.  There's not much more, if anything that I need to change there.

Where I'm going wrong is taking it to the next level.  Part of me realizes that, but I've been thinking too far ahead.  I kept telling myself I have to be figuring out logistics and going for the venue change or the extractions to her place or my place.  Here is that proverbial cart/horse problem.  Before any of that matters, I need to kiss close and make out with the girl.  That's where I'm stuck.

"The girl is all over  them and wants to be closed, but he keeps gaming." -Ozzie Transformations

That summarizes what I've been doing.  Several sets come to mind in the past two weeks and the problem is the same.  There was the brunette from Detroit that was gazing into my eyes as I was standing two feet away from here.  The set that keeps bothering me is Foreign Service girl from Barlycorn.  I can just picture how she kept smiling at me as we were talking.  She was just glowing and I don't know why part of me still has a hard part accepting that it was because she wants me.  (It's an entitlement, inner game problem that I'm working on.)  My response was to just keep "gaming."  Sure, I enjoyed talking to her but I needed to seal the deal.  There's plenty of time to keep the awesome conversation going.  There's a window, though, where the girl want to be kissed.  I needed to make that happen.


Phase shift, project sexual state:
When the set is on, and it's on very often nowadays, I have to stop whatever conversation thread is going and move things to where I want to be.  I've been thinking about how I can actually do this.  My simplest kiss closes in the past have been when I'm seated with a girl and I have my arm around her.  There's a pause in the conversation, we gaze into each others eyes, and I lean in slightly and kiss her.  I need to create that situation and it's not gonna happen when I just keep gaming her verbally. 

I've made things easier now that I kino from the beginning.  As long as I progressly escalate kino, the kiss closes will happen more naturally.  When the set is on, and I don't yet have my arm around her, then I can move things that way.  In The Pickup Artist, Mystery tells the guys to use the kiss gambits which I don't like, but they work.  This is one option.  I realize that progress comes through baby steps.  Once I get comfortable with kiss closing, I can abandon these cheesy moves and be more natural.  The guys on the show just the trust test to start kino and then use various routines like the "Are you adventurous" or "Would you like to kiss me?" routines.

How I could have done better in previous sets:
Pickup is like being in the movie Groundhog Day.  The situations keep repeating themselves even though it's with different girls.  I'll remember how I got stuck or screwed up, and when that happens again, I do the right thing, or at least do something different than I did originally.   I feel that by coming up with solutions to previous sets, I'll have a plan of attack for when I'm in a similar situation.

Girl gazing into my eyes, who then turned and talked to her friend cause I didn't do anything:
 This was the set where I opened this girl who was holding a beer pitcher.  I ended up talking to the less attractive friend.  I didn't really feel like I hadn't done anything special, but I have to remember that I'm just attractive naturally now.  She started gazing into my eyes.  Instead of doing nothing, I could have given her some sort of SOI (statement of interest.)   It could be something specific, or it can just be something generic about her vibe. 

"You know, I just really like how you have this passion for travel,"  or "You just give off this positive vibe that  I find really attractive."  

I stroke her hair as I say this and gaze into her eyes.  I move closer and maybe start stroking her face.  Obviously, if she continues to gaze and I'm pretty sure should would have, then I move in and kiss her. 


Foreign Service Girl:
 As I've mentioned, our conversation was going great.  I just needed to change the subject to something more romantic.  I could have done this by moving into some sort of emotional patterning.  The SOI seems like a good method as well.  It's a good thing to tell the girl legitimate reasons why you like her that have nothing to do with her looks.

My chair was close to hers but we were still seating sideways.  I can see that I could have just moved my chair to face her.  I think the move is to do this as I'm talking.  For example, I could say something like, "I know we just met, but I feel this connection to you.  It's like both of us are in touch with our inner explorer.  Like if we were both on Christopher Columbus' ship, we be the one wants to keep sailing instead of turning around."  I'd touch her hand as I'm saying this and gaze into her eyes.  If she didn't flinch and was instead comfortable with my touch, then I could lean in and kiss her.  If not, then at least I'm closer.  I could keep talking and ramp up the kino some more. 

The other move was to drag her onto the dance floor.  As I write that, I feel like it might have been weird to just jump up and want to dance so I suppose I could have starting talking about dancing.  By doing so, I could have patterned some emotions, "Sometimes, I just like to get on the dance floor.  Do you dance?  I like it because I feel like I can just lose myself into that moment.  I just feel the beat and the song seems flow through my body.  My body feels like it's one with the music and I can just forgot what I'm thinking about and just focus on the good feelings flowing throughout my body.... You know what.  Talking about me makes we want to go dance.  Let's go dance."

Detroit girl from a few weeks ago:
 We were talking but my kino was clow as it was like my second time out.  We were having a great conversation though, and suddenly there was a pause in the conversation.  Again, I had the moment where I was gazing into her eyes.  Instead of doing nothing, I could have put my arm around her.  "I like you.  You're so cute and you have this adventurous side."  If we're still gazing into each others eyes, then I lean my head in and kiss her."

I'm focusing on kiss closing when I go out now. 
That's my sticking point.  I just can't be emotionally involved with the outcome.  Mystery says to view the girls as just practice, like a video game, if you have to.  My goal is to approach girls.  I should be happy if I do that regardless of what happens.  Inevitably, things will be in with some set or another, and I have to just make myself phase shift and go for the close.  If I do that, I've succeeded.  I'll get more practice and eventually I'll have this down again.  

The new blog begins

I actually starting blogging on blogspot back in 2005 I believe.  I started a few months before I discovered "The Game."  I rambled about certain theories I had about the universe and the world.  Then, I started sarging and decided it would be a good way to track my progress and analyze my nights out.

At some point, I started posting my reports on my myspace page.  I estimate that I have several hundred posts there.  Unfortunately, the new blog format doesn't allow you to go back to old posts easily.  I need that feature.  Hitting the "Back" button tons of times is not a good interface.  I did some research and found a post from someone on January 2011 complaining about this same thing.  That same person also commented that it's hard to migrate you entire blog from that site too.  He manually moved all his stuff over.  I'd like to do that but probably won't have time.  For right now, I decided I'm moving the posts from the last two weeks.  My new journey began two weeks ago so it's fitting in a way to start the new blog with those posts.

Anyway, back to blogspot cause I've always like the way this site makes it easy to go through old posts.  I have my adventures will be more exciting than ever before.

"I gotta find my friends" and this lost drunk girl

"I gotta find my friends" and this lost drunk girl

The set I seemed to be obsessed with last night was this short drunk girl at the after hours place. I remember spotting her when she walked in. When she walked by me, I did RSD Tim's hand web opener to pull her into me. I sensed she was drunk and high buying temperature. I started talking to her but I lost her. In retrospect, I should have done cave man kino off the bat and danced with her. I got to see my loss about two minutes later. She wanders to this guy who senses the same thing I did. He starts dancing with her and he kino escalates while dancing and soon he's making out with her. They made out for two songs and then she wandered off.

"I gotta find my friends."

I'm sure that what she said to him after she left him. That's what she said to me every time I tried to engage her. I tried 3 times to try to get her. I give myself credit for pushing one last time near the end of the night. I guess I screwed things up the first time. That same guy was making out with her again later, but I guess that guy was satisfied with that. He should have been trying to pull her though I guess she was a little wacko anyway.

She just kept walking circles around this small after hours bar. Near the end of the night, I told Seagull he should try to close her. He went and talked to her but after about three minutes (which was longer than I had her attention), she wandered off saying, "I gotta find my friends."

I have to admit that it hurt seeing her make out with that guy. I felt like I missed an opportunity, but I should instead focus now on the other higher quality girls I screwed up with tonight.

A night of fluctuating state:
Tonight was just a bad night for me. I think it's partially because I claimed to have figured everything out after Friday. Instead of just focusing on having fun and pushing my comfort levels, I instead told myself I was gonna get laid tonight. I guess I remember having that mindset when I did my first SNL, but I'm convinced it messed me up today.

My other theory is that it was going out in the cold with no jacket. We started the night at McGee's cause we ended up having to park half a block from that bar. I remember I didn't open but instead went to the back. The live cover band played some songs I liked. I was dancing to the songs and kept thinking about how I should open this blonde next to me. I choded out and didn't do anything. Seagull came up to me and said he had needed my help with a set. I told him I was busy dancing.

Dancing must have pumped my state as I walked to the front of the bar and immediately opened this cute blonde. I was in a raging brush fire state. I remember doing a lot of kino early on. She was seated and there was a good song on so I was kind of dancing in front of her as I talked to her. I asked her to dance but she said she didn't know how to dance. I replied, "I don't either. I just try to move to the beat." She ended up going to the bar cause the birthday friend was there. I walked over to this bored blonde and opened her. I couldn't hear half of what she was saying but I kept plowing. I wanted her to dance too but she didn't want too. I ended up dancing in the aisle cause I liked the song.

Seagull wanted to leave and we went to State. In the one minute walk, I ended up being in a shitty state somehow. We walked in and I choded out and went to the bathroom. I came out and I didn't feel the confidence to open. There were a ton of hot girls there. They probably had more hot girls in that particular bar than all the other places combined. Maybe that's why I was out of state.

Feeling like a master PUA:
We ended up at The Apartment after we left State. I had gotten into a better mood when we stopped by this bar on the way to literally warm up. It's about halfway between the Lincoln Ave bars and State. I wanted to get some heat since I had no coat on. I told myself I needed to redeem myself by opening and I got into a short set there. We went straight upstairs at the Apartment and I ran right onto the semi-empty dance floor.

I told myself I was gonna do an actual dance floor approach today but I never did. What I mean, is that I wanted to open a girl on the dance floor using just dancing. I know I could open verbally. I just have never used straight dance to really open a girl. Well, I guess I sort of did Friday, but that girl made eye contact with me before I danced with her briefly. What I want to do some time is actually see a girl on the dance floor, go up to her, make eye contact and start dancing with her. I watched this awesome PlayerSupreme Youtube video that demonstrates the technique. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. That's probably part of my state problem there. I feel like a chode cause I won't open using this technique and it bothers me. I guess I just have to do it like I did my first verbal cold approach years ago to start this journey.

It really makes no sense why I fear rejection. I remember when I first started dancing at The Apartment. As I was dancing, I could see girls looking and smiling at me.

Dancing at least gets me in massive state. I walked off the dance floor and opened these hot Polish girls. Thie blonde I opened had these massive fake tits that I kept wanting to look at. Seagull came in and we were doing okay. A song came on that I liked. I knew the fake tit girl didn't like to dance so I didn't ask her. Instead I tried asking the third girl who I had barely spoken to. She didn't want to dance, so I went out again myself.

The highlight of the evening was this 5-set I opened after leaving the dance floor again. There was this cute blonde with this interesting hat on. I went right up to her with the strong intent introduction opener I've been using all week. The set just blew wide open. I remember that she liked me. I got introduced to the friends and started talking more to my girl. As I'm talking, the two girls on my left kept staring at me and giggling. The one kept looking at me and then my necklace. I felt awesome.

Inner game problem: We don't believe:

This problem reared it's ugly head. What happened with that 5-set happened again several times in different ways. I had self doubt today for whatever reason and just let opportunities slip by. That girl in that hat was really into me. Suddenly, the birthday girl popped in and wanted to dance. My girl reluctantly left and said, "I'm sorry, but it's her birthday."

I know the fucking move! As this was going down, a real PUA would have grabbed my girl's hand and lead her to the dance floor. A real PUA would have then proceeded to dance and grind with all the girls in the set and then I could have just focused on my girl. Kino escalate, make out, etc.
Instead, I just let her slip away.

I hate to admit it, but we left to check out Barleycorn and when we came back, I spotted that girl in the hat again but I was too chicken to open her. I put in all that work and I just abandoned the set instead of manning up and entering again. She liked me and I'm almost sure she would have responded positively but somehow I got scared. I guess it's time to learn again that I can approach sets again. You can open sets again that blew you out, but most defintely, you have to open sets again like this one. This girl and her friends liked me!

I had another opportunity when we came back to The Apartment. Seagull had opened this 2-set. He was getting along with his girl, but I was stuck with this boring chubby blonde. It turns out there was a third girl by the bar who was the birthday girl. She was this very cute blonde. When she came back to the set, I high fived her and wished her a happy birthday. She was all smiles and seemed to like me. The set was starting to walk away and she said, "Hey, we're going to dance."

Again, I just let them. A real PUA would have grabbed her hand and let the whole set to the dance floor.

Foreign service girl:
Seagull opened this seated 2-set at Barleycorn. We couldn't get the set to go anywhere, but as I was wing for him, I saw this massive 6-set across the room. Two girls were looking at us as we were in this 2-set and smiling. After we left, I told him that they had been watching and I decided I had to open them. I originally wanted to talk to this pale girl with a cute face. She was seated close to this guy so I wasn't sure if they were together. Instead of doing the Intent-Intro opener, I used the old, "Hey, what's with all the serious faces? This looks like a business meeting. Cheer it, we're at the bar. It's Saturday day night." I then started high fiving several girls.

I told to the pale girl and this girl to my left. The pale girl was cuter, but I just didn't seem to be clicking with her. I immediately took a liking to the girl on the left. She kept smiling and me and holding strong eye contact, plus she kept asking me questions. I knew she really liked me too when she kept bombarding me with questions. Girls run AFC style game on your when they like you and just bombard you with questions.

In looks, this girl, Foreign service girl (FS girl), was was average. She had a cute face but she wasn't the prettiest girl. She had a thin body but no spectacular features. Her personality, though, was of SHB 10 quality for me. We started talking about travel and she named off the two places I usually give as places I'd like to visit. She mentioned South African and then Tanzania. This girl has also traveled extensively. There was also this sophisticated air about her. I was sitting there talking to a freshly minted 21 year old at a bar, but I felt like she would fit right in if were sipping some ridiculously expensive wine with rich people at some posh hotel lounge in Monte Carlo.

I just enjoyed talking to her, but what added to my delight was we kept gazing into each others eyes and we both had big smiles on our face. My kino was decent. I kept touching her when I could and I put my arm around her a few times. I hate to admit I made this awkward attempt to touch her hands early on and I remember her pulling away. I probably even looked at her hands when I made the attempt too which is probably how she knew to pull away. It was even the right moment, but I knew I needed to touch her hands. It didn't matter, though, the set kept going, but I'll make sure not to do that again in the future.

The set ended cause Seagull's girl wanted to go find the rest of the group. The girls left, but I had a chance to open her again. I saw the big group at the bar later on and the right move was to open her again, pull her away from the group for isolation and escalate. The other move might have been to move her away from Seagull and his girl originally. I didn't think this was necessary as I had isolation from the big group where I was seated. I suppose I could have pulled her to the dance floor, but I'm not sure if that's necessary. No, what's certain is I should have approached her again.

BTW, I call her foreign service girl cause she wanted to join the Diplomatic core. She wants to have the job that Sidegame's sister and her husband had.

Was I suppose to kiss close:
I opened this 2-set at Barleycorn shortly after I lost FS girl. I vibed with this slightly chubby but cute brunette. I remember she was giving me the doggy dinner bowl look and my face was close to hers. She was seated in a chair and I was standing next to her. Our faces were like a foot apart. We were gazing into each others eyes. I didn't do anything and looked away. Then the girl turned to her friend. She stood up and starting talking to her and completely turned away from me.

I kept wondering if I was supposed to kiss her, but I guess the answer is yes, cause I remembered an important point as I was writing this. When we were gazing into each others eyes, I remember thinking "Should I kiss this girl?" When my mind asks that, it means that I should be doing. That isn't just some random though that happens. My mind has the right reference points to know what it's right. I guess I didn't feel comfortable doing it as I hadn't felt like I had build up to that point.

Ozzie would say I suffered from "excessive gaming." The girl was sitting there giving me her attention, and she wanted to kiss me, and I didn't do anything. I ruined the moment. I caused the girl discomfort by not kissing her when she wanted to be kissed.

I guess it goes back to not believing in myself. I still debate this cause I didn't feel like I had done enough to be at the kiss close point. I could see how I was at that point with Foreign Service girl, but she actually might not have kissed me. This girl, though, wanted to kiss me and I had less of a connection. I guess I don't give myself enough credit. A) When I sense that I should kiss the girl, I should trust my instincts as that instinct doesn't happen that often and it's usually a blazing alarm that I'm in one of those moments. B) I should believe that my game is strong enough to warrant kiss closes. The attitude I should have is, "Of course she wants to kiss me."

Massive sticking points from tonight:
-I'm back to this BS where I'm afraid to approach the girl again after I opened her once. I have to think about Tim's "house analogy." He says in "Flawless Natural" that we should imagine we are building a house. We put up three walls and then the first one falls down. We can either run away from the house, or we can sit there thinking about what we should do. The right move is to go back and try to put up that first wall instead of abandoning the house we started. I just abandoned the house several times tonight. I put in good effort, and I felt an awesome connection with Foregin service girl, but instead of trying to rebuild the wall, I just abandoned the house!

-I just don't believe in myself sometimes still and that holds me back. I didn't even mention this 2-set that was smoking outside The Apartment. Seagull opened them. The set was going well, and I noticed that my girl had finished her ciggy. I knew that the move was to tell the set and we should all continue this inside. Instead, I hesitated, and within 5 seconds, my girl turned to the friend. The friend was finished at that point too, and they said it was cold and were going inside. Here, Seagull and I had the opportunity again to lead them instead and continue the sarge. Seagull's girl even said we should go find them inside.

-I need to be focused on the outcome but not put so much pressure on myself. The only goal I should be thinking about is opening. I should open all the girls I find really attractive. I should try to make the right moves towards closing, but I need to just focus on opening and having fun. It's like I created a performance anxiety where I wasn't gonna feel good unless I pulled a girl and that pressure makes that impossible. I guess I became too emotionally involved in trying to make that happen instead of having the correct mindset that I had the past 3 days.

I extracted a girl for food and all I got was half a bowl of fries

I extraced a girl for food and all I got was half a bowl of fries

Tonight was an adventure that at one point had me feeling like a total chump. That was until I put everything in perspective and then all I do was giggle about the night. I remembered what a shitty night really was back in the day. Back then, I'd stare at girls all night and wish I could talk to them. I was petrified of anything to do with dancing and I'd also spend the whole night wondering what was wrong with me. Contrast that with tonight.

I was back to being an approach machine. I went beyond what I've done in the past. I'd approach a ton of sets, but there would be those sets that I'd look at and be like, "Naw, she's too cute. I'm not gonna open that." Tonight, I saw a cute girl, and I opened her. I with in with intent just like I'm supposed to do. I moved through all the people in the way like a man on a mission. I went right up to the girl, and told her that I wanted to meet her.

It's funny how when you're in an AFC/chode mood, your mind will give you all kind of bullshit rationalizations of why you can't open a set. You tell yourself that she's next to the bar and surrounded by people so you can't open. You tell yourself that they are in the middle of a conversation and you can't bother them. As I said above, when I'd really be attracted to a girl, I wouldn't feel worthy enough to go open her. Tonight, I proved to myself how that's all nonsense. I remembered this cute redhead. She was in the middle of saying something when I swooped in. No problem. As soon as I introduce myself, we're in a our own conversation. The friends didn't even object. They just started talking with each other and I had mini isolation with my target.

I was amazed how many times this happened. Sure I got blown out with a few hot girls but most of them liked me initially. Usually, some distraction ended up happening. The only thing I can do differently in the future is to open them again later in the night. I remember that I ran into that redhead again after she walked away from me. I felt awkward, but I shouldn't be like that. I think one thing I can say is RSD Tim's, "Hey, it's you and me tonight, remember."

"I've gotta leave, you wanna come with?"
I wish I could remember her exact words. What she said was very close to what I typed above. I can't help but think of the movie Ghostbusters. When they are talking to Zuul, she asks them something like, "Are you a god?" After answering that he wasn't, one of the other ghostbusters tells this guy that when someone asks you if you are a god, you say yes!

When a girl asks me to accompany her, the answer has to be yes!
After a long night, we ended up at Division. At the first bar, Seagull hid two beers in his jacket when we walked in. I think it's hilarious that we sneaked in some beers and then started drinking them at he club and no one was the wiser. I remember just laughing when he handed me the beer in the club. At that place, I loved the music and went out on the dance floor, but unfortunately, there really weren't any worthwhile girls there.

We went across the street to my normal stomping grounds. The place was packed. I starting using RSD Tim's trick to stop girls walking by. You gently, but firmly, use the web between your thumb and index finger to catch the girls wrist as she's walking by and pull her into you and introduce yourself. It's very dominant. I known about this move for awhile but I was never confident enough to try it. It is golden! I did it three times and the girls smiled when I did it. I remember this petite girl that I opened. She was so adorable, but I couldn't get the set to click.

Anyway, I ended up standing near this covered pool table. Seagull was working a blonde in a 4-set. I had tried to wing him but I came in too low energy. The girls were dancing so I didn't have enough energy to garner their attention. Rather than look like a low vale, lame friend, I walked away. I planned on going back in, but instead I met this drunk brunette.

When a girl hovers near you, you open her:
I remember seeing this girl in my vicinity. I hesitated for a second, then I remember telling myself, "This is stupid. She right there, open her." I touched her shoulder and introduced myself. I don't remember really saying anything that interesting when two good songs suddenly came on. We were looking at each other and dancing to the music. Thinking about it though, I should have actually tried to dance with her instead of dancing next to her. I could have spun her around and then pulled her close to me.

That song that goes "Don't stop believing" came on. We started singing and moving with the music. When the chorus came on, I put my arm around her and we sang to that too. After the song was over, she uttered the words above about having to leave and asking me to come with.

Huh?
That was my initial thought, but I figured a venue change was good. She started trying to walk out but was having a hard time moving through the crowd. That took about 5 seconds, but then I quickly realized I have to be a man. I said, "Let me lead us through her." I grabbed her arm and started making my way to the exit.

When we got outside, I started talking about Clarke's. It's this diner on Belmont that Seagull and I always have in mind for venue changing. The last time we were there was when I moved this Polish girl who raised money to save animals.

Be a closer:
She ran to a cab and I remember doubting whether I should follow her or not. I decided that I was gonna try to see this set to the end. I actually thought about Hoobie's video in that moment in doubt. He talks about how the closer basically tries to overcome every obstacle to make the close happen. I followed her. In my head, I figured if she shut the cab door on me, then obviously, I wouldn't get in the cab. She hopped in the cab and I sit down. I tell the Ukrainian cab driver to take us to Clarkes. I was confused that it was on Fullerton but we figured out quickly it was on Belmont.

The girl started acting weird though. She starts calling random people on the phone. I start talking to the cab driver so I'm wouldn't be stuck sitting there feeling stupid. I remember her telling someone how she hates Chicago and how's she glad she's only stuck her for 48 hours. Always trying to filter the right message, I remember thinking, "Okay, maybe no commitment hook up can be possible then."

We got to Clarke's and I paid the cab driver. We walk into Clarke's and she's on the phone. She walks past the counter where you wait to get seated. At this point, I feel weird as she's racing to the bathroom or whatever and I'm following. I actually felt creepy so I stopped and started playing with my phone.

Did she ditch me?
This is the point in the night when I felt like a total chump. I'm like WTF? I just got taken for a cab ride. It was only like $14, but I had it when I spend any money on girls now. I thought she went to the bathroom, but when I started playing with my phone, I also began to think she might have left.

Part of me wanted to take the train back for being stupid. The other part said I gotta make the most of whatever situations I find myself in. I was up here at Clarke's, so I might as well sit down and chill. I started texting Seagull to tell him where I was. He was still in the set.

I ended up grabbing a table and ordering an iced tea. I tell Seagull to try to bring the 4-set here. Sadly, he told me later that he didn't even try to venue change them here.

She's back and she sits down with two girls?!
The whole situation was weird but amusing I suppose. I had brought her to Clarke's cause that's where I like to bring girls, but it's also where her friends happened to be. I guess that's why she was cool with going here. I felt weird though. I felt like she had ditched me, but there she was, a few tables away with some friends.

I had this inner debate for a few minutes. I kept trying to decide whether or not to just chill at my table or go talk to her. I decided that I would not be happy with myself unless I went over there.

I went to her table and said, "Hey, there you are. Introduce me to your friends."

She actually smiled and the friends introduced themselves. I tell them, "I'm glad she was able to find you guys."

The only thing I can think of to say is, "Hey this girl (meaning my girl) was ripping on Chicago? What's up with that?"

She started telling me she'd rather be in New Orleans.

I was standing by this table. My girl and another girl were on one side of the booth. This chubby girl was on the other side and had her legs stretched across where I could sit. I knew I had to sit down as standing there was stupid. I had no problem telling the girl to move, but I also wasn't sure if the girls wanted me to sit down. I pulled a chair from a nearby table and sat next to the booth. The waiter came up and told me that the manager doesn't allow people to sit in the aisle like that. The friend next to my girl said I could sit down with them.

I felt awkward sitting there but I loosened up and we chatted. My girl was being weird and kept playing with the phone. I gave her shit about being too into her phone. The friend rolled her ringer by temple and signaled that the girl was crazy.

I venue changed this girl and all I got was a bowl of fries:
The other two girls were done eating but there was half a bowl of fries. I grabbed some fries and said, "Hey, can I have fries?" Part of me actually felt good that I was getting something out of this. As I'm doing this, Segun texts me and I ask him if he's hungry. He says he is so I asked him to take the train up and meet me.

As I'm waiting, one of the friends asks my girl for water. This is when I realized how wasted my girl was. She starts pouring water from this carafe and she starts spilling it all over the table. I grab the carafe and pour the water. I guess things made more sense know that I realized this girl was blasted. She was still weird though.

The girls left before Seagull got there. The one friend that was seated next to my girl kept thanking me for bringing the girl up there to them. She apologized for her friend too.

Right action:
When Seagull came, I told him the story. As I was waiting, I kept giggling about my night. Yeah, it was some BS that I paid for her cab ride, but it turned out to be an amusing night. I think about how I would have felt if I had let her get in that cab without getting in with her. I would have been writing a blog entry about how stupid I was for not trying to push towards a close. I did my best her. I made huge progress in that I was confident enough to try to make things happen. I just happened to venue change a wacky drunk girl. It's still funny to me that the diner I picked also happened to be the ones where her friends were.

After I dropped Seagull home, I thought about the night. I'm happy about the night's adventures for two reason. First, I had the closer mentality today. Even though I was uncomfortable at times, I tried to take right action. This is in stark contrast to those three Irish girls last week that I didn't even try to extract for food. It feels good to make the right move regardless of what happens. Had I not gotten in the cab, or had I not went and talked to her and her friends at the diner, I would have felt like a chump. Instead, I moved like a champ. The second reason is I think this extraction will make me actually feel more confident about venue changing for food in future sets. I know deep down, it felt like a big deal to do this. It shouldn't feel that way. If you feel that venue changing for food, or kissing girls, or going home with them on the first night is a big deal, then the girls will feel that way too (credit Owen/TD). If you feel like it's normal, then they'll be cool with it. Tonight's adventure has gotten me more comfortable with the food extraction. I can see myself doing this more often and it going a lot smoother. Maybe I'll even get to do it again tonight!

Solid 2 set number close & Zombig Apocalypse

Solid 2 set number close & Zombie Apocalypse

Tonight, part of me didn't want to go out but I also wanted to build momentum for this weekend. Seagull and I are gonna go out Friday so I wanted to get more practice in. I got further motivation from hearing stories about a distant friend finally getting two 3-way experiences with two girls and Seagull telling me about some make outs he had while he was on spring break.

I went to this place I haven't been to in awhile. I remember they had some country/rock band last summer when I went there on a Thursday. As you walk to the front door, you pass by the windows of the bar area. I didn't want to value scan the windows as I was walking by but that also prevented me from seeing if there were any sets. I ended up just walking upstairs as there was no cover. The band was really loud. There were a bunch of girls including this tall Latina chick by they were all in front by the stage area. I just sang along with two songs and then I decided to go back downstairs as the band started to play a song I didn't like.

At this point, I haven't opened a single person. I decide to walk to the bar area and I told myself I was gonna open the first decent looking set that I saw. As I'm walking, I see this seated two set. I open them similar to my good sets on Wednesday night. I walked right up to the girl I liked and showed intent from the beginning. For people who know my preferences, strangely my targeted ended up being this brunette rather than the blonde.

It's great when two girls are giving you IOI's:

I remember after being in this set for like 15 minutes, I just had this moment where I really appreciated how far I had come. This has happened in the past, but it's been so long that I can' even remember the last time I ran a 2-set solo. When I've been off by myself, I've usually tried to pull a girl off a bigger set or tried mixed 3-sets with two girls and one guy. It's actually too bad that I didn't have a wing cause both girls were cool and fun.

I knew my target liked me, but what struck me at the time was how the blonde kept gazing into my eyes too. I can also remember two times where the conversation had a moment of silence. Those two times, the blonde keep things going by asking me questions.

As I'm working this two set, I tried to kino my target when I could. I feel like I didn't do that much kino but it's not like I didn't do any either. I wasn't afraid to escalate, I was just unsure of how much to do since I was stuck in a 2-set with no wing. If I had a wing, I could have isolated my girl somewhere else, or at least have had some one-on-one time with her where I could have don't more intimate kino.

Number close:
Thinking back, when we vibed on both liking Thai food, I probably could/should have said, "Oh, awesome. We gotta go out and get some Thai food" and number closed then. Instead, the bartender told us it was last call so I knew I had to make my move. I didn't want to be grabbing her number as they were walking out. That seemed too much like what most guys would do and I wanted to be slightly different. I also didn't want to just ask for her number.

What I ended up doing was being aware of my time constraint and just talking. When she giggled about something, I knew she was at an emotional spike, so that's when I threw it in. I didn't use any of my cute lines that I've used in the past. I just said, "We gotta hang out again." She agreed and said something like, "We (looking at her friend) go out a lot." I said "Give me your number."

After this, I did standard community stuff. We kept talking for a few more minutes so that I didn't fall into the usual # close pattern of taking the number and leaving. We talked until the light came on about 5 minutes later. I shook the blonde girl's hand and told her it was nice meeting here. Then as my girl stood up from her stool, and told her to give me a hug.

Alone:Just as I was about to post this, I decided to add this section. Tonight was a reminder of how going alone can be fruitful and doesn't matter. Guys also feel self coscious about being out there alone. Several gurus learned from going out alone and I used to do it myself way back in the beginning. It's great cause you either sit or stand by yourself and be lame or you learn to force yourself to talk to people. You can talk to guys so you have base to go to during the night, or just jump into talking to girls. BTW, the girls asked me if I was alone early on. I just said, "Yeah" and kept talking. It didn't matter at all. The only way it matters is if you let it bother you. An AFC might have answered that by qualifying himself. For example, he might have said,"Ummm.. Well, I normally don't go out alone.."


Zombie Apocalypse:

I went to the bathroom as I didn't want to walk out with them, though I suppose I could have walked them to their car. In any case, I had to take a piss. As I'm walking out, I open this mixed set just to do so. They recommend that I go to Coach House, but I thought Cadillac Ranch would be better. Like Wednesday night, I debated going home on a high note or pressing forward. I felt like going home was the easy way and I wanted to push things along. I was happy with meeting a really cool girl and number closing but I also wanted to try to pull, if possible.

Well, Caddy was TOTALLY dead. There was no cover. I walked in and there were about 5 customers. I immediately opened this Latino guy and his girl. I ordered a drink as I told myself I was gonna have a drink here, plus there was nothing else to do. As I'm sitting there in this place, I'm thinking about how dead it is. I've never seen that place that empty at 1-2am. It was busier one Sunday after Christmas and one New Years Day evening, which you think would be slower days.

I told this set that I felt like I was in some zombie apocalypse movie. It was like the place was dead cause maybe people knew something that I didn't. Some impending doom was coming and they were off running while we were in this bar oblivious. They giggled. I felt pretty creative for coming up with some random BS like that. I'm gonna drop that in again this weekend at some point.

I ended up staying an hour since I had one drink. I figured there was a chance more people would come. About 6-8 more people came, but only three were girls. Each of the girls had come in with their own guy.

I wanted to practice social freedom by dancing on a totally empty dance floor in an empty place, but I didn't. I blame it on the music. It was some techno crap that I just couldn't dance to at the time. I really feel that if they had played familiar music, I would have danced by myself there.

Brilliant moments of intent

Brilliant moments of intent

I was all set to go out solo but I texted Herschey/T on a whim and we ended up going out. It was good to see him since it's been months. I was in a great state. I've been excited about going out since Saturday as I feel like I see what's been missing from my game.

The first bar we entered had trivia going which isn't the best atmosphere to sarge in. I opened the only two set there. They were into the trivia but it was some hard sounding thing about song lyrics that I was into so we left. We ended up at this bar with a Guiness drink special. I talked to the onlyt 2-set in that bar. I actually had a good conversation with this woman around my age. She wasn't that attractive but she'd be fun to hang out with I suppose. Part of me wanted to try to number close, but I didn't go for it. Maybe it's just excuses, but I've been telling myself that I'm only going for the girls that I'm into instead of trying to settle for less. I should have remembered that line of thinking later in the night.

Opening with intent:
I've written that I've been lacking physical game. I also do too much party/entertainer/intriguing guy and show little if any intent. Sure, I'm fun and girls and guys like talking to me, but that doesn't create the sexual energy that I need. That's especially important for SNL game which is what I'm working on. The thing I need to take from tonight was how I was in the 3rd bar. I was warmed up and in state from being in a twenty minute set with that girl I didn't want to number close.

We walked in, and I immediately spotted this girl that I wanted. I actually did have to take a piss so I went to the bathroom. Sometimes guys, and I've done it of course, try to procrastinate opening by going to the bathroom. This wasn't the case. After I came out, I immediately went up to my girl and opened her. She was next to another girl and there was a guy hovering around them too. With no hesitation, I walked out of the bathroom, and straight up to my girl. My opener is what I've been using a lot, "Hi, I'm Teddy, I wanted to meet you." I felt like I was doing a good job of showing intent as I got up close when I offered my hand, and I made and help eye contact.

We started chatting and I was kinoing a lot more than usual. I know that the last few times I've been out, I've been afraid to touch girls hands. This time was different; there was point where I felt I could emphasize a point by touching her hand.

What hurt me in the set was the friend. After analyzing what went wrong, I realize that I never won the friend over. I remember T came by and I introduced him, but we starting talking to each other.

High buying temperature girl:
As we're talking, I decided to give the last set some space. I ask Herschey to open. He's back with his girlfriend but I know he can open anyway. He opened the set. Then, I used this Jeffy opener that I've been wanting to try. I suppose I should have told Herschey I was gonna do this cause he was thrown off guard. I walked up, put my hands around him and said, "Hey, are you hitting on my boyfriend?"

I've gotta do that again. It cracks me now as I'm writing this. Herschey didn't like it but I find it hilarious. I introduce myself to the set and I realize the one girl is really high buying temperature. Here, I showed intent too. I used "the claw," I held her hand and gazed into her eyes. She was giggling and seemed to be into it, but they she would suddenly switch gears and pull away and shit test me.

Herschey was a little off. He was too busy playing with his phone instead of talking to the other girl. I kept talking to my girl and I decided to sit down. The girl shit test me by saying, "Hey, did you guys ask to sit at my table?" I made a joke about how it was my table. I felt like she was just shit testing me cause she kept giggling as she was giving me shit about sitting down at her table.

We talked for about 2-3 mins more and then she told her friend she was getting shots. While she's gone, I try talking to the friend for a bit. The girl suddenly comes back with two guys in tow.

I swear I rolled my eyes. I still can't pinpoint what was up with this girl. High buying temperature was certain. She also was receptive to me. I imagine these guys just hovered by her as she was ordering drinks since they sensed a drunk, high buying temperature girl.

When they came up, I greeted the guy closest to me. I actually put my arm around him and said, "Hey, this is like my big brother. Look at this guy."

What do I do:
I pulled away from that other set. I knew I needed to give my original girl another shot. I kept asking Herschey what I should do. He kept saying that he didn't know. I replied, "Come on. You know. I even know, but I feel like you telling me will make me feel more confident."

Herschey said he wasn't feeling good and was gonna take the bus home. I told him I needed to try this set again. I opened some other random people when he left so I wasn't standing alone by myself. I must have really been in state cause I normally don't just start opening everyone. Like I opened this mixed 3 set with one guy, I talked to the bouncer, and I talked to some random dudes. Then, I decided to go back in.

My girl is standing next to this old dude and the obstacle girl is standing next to her. I get my girls attention. She turns and looks at me but I don't come in with enough energy to shut out the other guy. In retrospect, I needed to get her attention and just start talking about something so I could get her attention from the guy.

At that point, I'm standing there feeling stupid. I give it one last shot though. I try to talk to the obstacle. I said, "So are you the shy one?" She looks at me and says, "We're catching up with some old friends..." You know, that bullshit blow off line.

Gotta befriend:
I know she was full of shit cause my girl told me that she didn't know anyone in the bar except that obstacle girl. I know for sure that my girl was into me, but the bar distractions got in the way. I suppose I should have tried to isolate her to the other part of the bar. Now that I've got intent down, it's time to work on moving girls again. Finally, as I've been saying, I needed to befriend the obstacle earlier so she didn't feel the need to get rid of me.

I just have to remember those two sets:
I feel great about myself in those two key sets in the 3rd bar. I just need to duplicate how I opened with intent and my game should move to the next level. RSD Ozzie is so right about how it's so much better to start touching the girl from the beginning. Sure, that's standard community knowledge, but his presentation in "Transformations" is what has really helped me with kino. I've been watching his video and the intent part of RSD Tim's "Flawless Natural" over and over to drive home these points. What a difference actually acting with intent does.

Yes, I lose the girls, but this is a big step for me. I'll feel more comfortable repeating what I did today. I saw his these girls responded so much better than they do when I just run my verbal game with little touching.