Tonight, I went out with MMA to where I used to go out every Friday and Saturday a few years ago. I hadn't been there since early winter. I picked up MMA on the way because I owed him a ride, and in the state I was in when I left, I wanted to stall and have someone to talk to during the ride in.
The first spot is a place that I read actually lost its liquor license according to an article I read in the paper. Apparently, the place got its license as an Italian restaurant and neighbors complained that it's really more a of club and they complained about the noise. From what I remember, the alderman is trying to get it shut down and last I heard, the business was fighting to get a new license. The place was busier than I expected: sure it was a holiday but many people have to work the next day. It seems to still be doing well. One change I did notice is that the waitresses no longer had the super skimpy bikini bottom type outfits and instead were wearing pants.
I noticed the difference starting out not with Seagull and being completely sober. I felt awkward at the beginning but I forced myself to open a bit, but MMA opened before me.
I got opened?
I got opened. MMA was outside having a smoke and I decided to sit in this chair that was next to the Jenga game while I messaged Seagull (who flaked out, which I actually expected considering we didn't go out in his neighborhood). She asked me if I was playing the Jenga game.
I replied, "No" and then was about to just end the conversation but I decided to plow a little bit. I think there's a decent chance that she just used the Jenga as an excuse to open me as I didn't see her playing after our conversation ended.
To my credit, I gathered myself and tried to run it as a set involving a girl who opened me but I should have tried to stick it out more after she initially was ready to walk away after about a 1-2 minute conversation.
Free Beer:
Later in the same venue, I was standing next to MMA. This girl behind me kept bumping into me. Sometimes, that happens and I think it's an IOI that I'm just ignoring. It also often that the girl is just drunk. As I type this, I think I should proceed as if the girl likes me and just try to open her when this happens and try to dance with her.
When the girl bumped into me a third time, I decided to open her. She was trying to drink this beer very fast, and I told her it was funny that she was trying to chug but doing a shitty job. I told her that I could have drunk two beers in the time it took her to drink the quarter of a beer. She then handed me the beer I guess as a challenge. I debated if I wanted to drink this beer but I figured that the girl was cute, given the opportunity, I'd make out with her so why not chug it. I then spun her around and danced with her a bit.
She then walked back and I basically gave up. I mentioned to MMA later that we should have tried to work her and her friend, but he said the after she danced with me, he saw her go back to this guy. He thinks she was with the guy because he put his arms around her.
All the signs of wanting to be pulled:
I recently watched some videos of signs the girl wants to go home with you. I can't say I remember them all, but I did notice some signs. We went to this other bar, and I ended up opening this black girl who had this chubby friend who had huge breasts. MMA wasn't really into her, and breasts aren't the feature that I'm naturally attracted to, but she was standing on this elevated area and my eye level when I looked over was in direct alignment with her breasts. I found the site to be pleasing.
I started dancing and talking to my target. She complied with the spinning and dancing and was answering my questions. When I just let the silence permeate for a few seconds, she continued the conversation. This happened 4-5 times. I asked her the logistical questions and got a very favorable response. She said they didn't really have plans after this and when I asked my usual, "Are you gonna stay out till 5am, when the sun comes up?" she replied in the affirmative. I had mentioned that we were at another bar. Later in the conversation, during one of the silences, she asked me if that other bar was within walking distance. When I said, "Yes" she asked how many blocks. Clearly, she was suggesting a venue change.
As I'm typing this, I realize that I should have taken that hint and moved the set. I was just hoping that MMA would hook the friend, but when I looked over, I knew that it wasn't working. Moving the two of them would have worked right then, and getting out of the club and walking to the other bar might have made things better with MMA and the friend. Also, it's always good to enter another bar with girls with you and that could have made pulling easier.
Instead, I kept talking. She also mentioned that not only didn't she have to work Thursday, but she made it clear that she was free until work at 5am Friday!
Ultimately, me not addressing the friend situation, caused the girls to leave.
I walked around with MMA and then I said I was going to look for the girls. I think I was protecting my ego as I did a half effort search. Had they been in the search area, I would have seen them and opened again and tried at least a number close. I didn't see them and rather than really search the bar and try again, I agreed to leave with MMA.
Try, try again:
I guess I learned from my mistake because I tried several times with this other black girl in the after hours place. MMA had opened the friend. I got out of state in the new venue as it felt like 10PM when we first entered. The 2am bars hadn't closed yet so I got out of state waiting like 45 minutes for the bar to pickup. I tried dancing and talking to MMA but when I keep seeing the same two sets and have no way to take action, I started to get out state. MMA was actually pushing me to go back into the set with the friend and this girl that became my target.
They eventually walked by and I took that opportunity to open. She actually didn't stop when I tried to stop her, so I walked the 10 feet to the bar and tried again. She had a favorable response and I started dancing with her. She was playing hard to get when I asked her what her name was as she replied, "Does it matter?" She had a smile on her face and was into dancing with me. I thought about what my female friend said about not treating the women as objects, so I really did want to know her name.
We danced some more. She started to grind her ass on my cock and I got hard. She got weird after that and ended up walking away after about 30 seconds. I opened her again and danced some more but I started to realize she might have been too drunk as I couldn't keep her attention.
She later went to the seating area and sat with some guys. I wanted to go back in but it didn't seem good. It wasn't until I saw her standing by the seated area, while her friend talked to some dude, that I tried again. She was smiling when I opened her, but she kept giving me some shit tests. I can't remember exactly what it was but she was giving me DTF eyes and smiling but wasn't complying with me trying to move her away. I guess thinking back, I probably should have focused less on trying to move her away and just kept talking or trying to say silly stuff to pump her state.
Chump guy gaining confidence from me:
We hit this one last after hours place on the way to the car. I saw this blonde sitting by herself by the window. I opened her and she was really friendly and talkative. I found out she was with this guy friend that she pointed out: he was ordering a drink at the time. Just after that, another guy came up and grab her arms and said something like, "Come over here with me."
I had her hooked so she said no and he walked away. We actually had a good laugh about this and I should remember this when I lose in these tug of war situations. She told me that she had noticed that particular guy staring at her for about an hour, and he never came to talk to her. This was even when she was sitting there alone prior to me opening her.
This was something that I've experienced more in the old days when I completely sucked. It's happened a few times since I've been back, but I can only remember it being on the street when I wasn't even gaming my target properly. What happened in all these situations is that the guy decide that they are better looking at me, and I figure they must tell themselves that if a fat, old, ugly guy like me can open this girl, then she would surely like them better than me. They gain courage and approach.
As I said, this happened a lot when I first started and I got to practice a lot of AMOG game. I didn't even have to say anything to the guy this time as I had her hooked. The good thing that I did was that I figured out who was actually with before the guy even came in. I knew that she likely wasn't alone in the venue.
The guy came back and I got introduced to him. She had to go to the bathroom and left her purse with the friend and I started talking to him.
Option was to stick with the 2-set: gay guy friend and my target?
I realized after about 30 seconds that this guy friend was a gay guy. I could just tell my his mannerisms. On top of that, I knew he wasn't the boyfriend. She had told me that she was here from California for work, and this was a guy friend. Apparently, she had lived her for a year previously.
I know this girl was attracted to me. The gay guy was cool with me. I did see that the move was to stick in the set and just talk to both of them and see what happened. My problem was that I drove with MMA. I think we both realize that we should just drive separately as it makes pulling easier.
It's debatable what the proper move was in this case. I decided that I didn't want to force MMA to stick around for another hour and a half with a set that I wasn't sure I could even close. I had debated the number close but I knew she wasn't in town for long.
Thinking back, I think maybe I was just protecting my ego. In retrospect, I should have kept talking to the gay guy until she returned and then just stayed in for a little longer and gathered more info. Maybe she was staying until Sunday and I could have possibly met up again if I couldn't close tonight. I could also have kino escalated a bit more when she was back and then seen if I had a chance to close tonight or not.
Yeah, I guess this was a fuck up. At the time, I really did think that my only option was to commit to staying with this set the whole night or not (there weren't really any other sets in the bar, and we had planned on going home after this bar). Again, that was a false choice: leave or stay in till close. I could have felt it out for 10-20 minutes and then made an informed decision.
I took the ego boost from the positive reaction and the AMOG attempt busting out instead of putting my ego on the line and risking rejection by staying in longer. I have to recognize when I'm doing this in the future and force myself to try again.
It seems like two good sets, I took the ego boost after facing some difficulty, and probably the one that I had the last chance with out of the three, I went in 3-4 times!
I have to remember that sure, I could waste time staying in the set, but it's not like it was a Friday or Saturday when staying in meant that I was giving up the opportunity to hit a bunch of other sets up that may have been down for a quick pull. These two that I didn't push to the end were good chances and there's always a risk that you waste time. The ego gratification is stupid; had I persisted a little more, I might have gotten a lay. No matter what, I would have gotten some useful reference experiences.
I told Seagull that one of his blind spots is that he got too used to easy lays. Jlaix called it being like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat. During closing time and shortly after, it supposedly pretty easy to just go up to a bunch of girls and even say something a dumb as "Hey you, come here" and you might get lucky and find a girl who's DTF and just comes with you.
I should try quick pull game at the end of the night, but I should also force myself to stay in sets that seem like they'll be more difficult as that's the only way to build that skill set. Not all girls are going to be quick pulls and the ones I really want aren't always going to be down with Scorpion quick pulls.
Thursday, July 5, 2018
Wednesday, July 4, 2018
Stealing, AMOG's and trouble in the PUA House
I'm actually about to go out the door but I wanted to get in a quick post as I know if something more interesting happens tonight, I'm not going to want to take the time to write about this particular topic.
I was inspired by last night due to two reasons:
1) My wing got a girl stolen by his roommate at this PUA house
2) I was in this decent set that didn't work out on the street but then I had another chance at the bar but I didn't take it because I didn't want to deal with the guy friend.
Stealing:
I see that I'm learning lessons for free or cheaply from mistakes or situations my wings have found themselves in lately.
Let me start by discussing literal stealing. MMA pulled this girl last week that stole a bunch of hit stuff. I'm going to get the full report today as I'm picking him up but I imagine he took her home and then fell asleep and she stole a bunch of shit.
I've been thinking that the way my place is set up, this can happen to me. I've finally taken some steps to prevent such a thing from happening but I'm not fully insulated yet. The good news for me is that if I drive a girl here, I will be sober as I actually have to drive her and since I go to bed after the sun comes out, chances are that I'm not going to fall asleep before she does. Still, I moved some valuables to another room and I'm going to hide my credit cards and gift cards. Previously, that stuff was just lying around and a girl could have easily taken one and I wouldn't even notice it for a long time unless it was one of my primary cards.
Another thing I can do is just to not girls stay over. I remember that in a Derek interview, he says one key to hot girls is that you can't let them stay over the first night, as tempting as it might be. Now, I've probably only pulled one girl that might fit into this category, but I should consider that strategy. Briefly, the reason is that with super hot girls, every guy is going to try to have her stay over so you stand out when you're not so attached afterwards.
Competing guys:
My lesson is that I should have gone into that set even though the guy friend or guy that's trying to hook up with her was there. We opened this 4 girls basically in front of the PUA house. My girl seemed into me and I thought about number closing (on a sidenote, I think I'm finally motivated to get on snapchat and instagram to help with game). I heard one of my wings talk about the girls coming to the house for a quick shot. They start walking away and they don't herd any of the girls.
I found out later that one wing was talking to a genuine lesbian and Seagull's girl wasn't into him and vice versa. I guess I was the only one that thought the set was good. I tried moving them to the house and one and possibly two girls were down but I couldn't move all four of them. I hated that I was mistaken in the plan as it would have been more solid had I known my group didn't care about actually moving htis girl.
Fast forward about 40 minutes later, and I see this girl in another venue. I had heard her telling her friends that they might go there so I wasn't entirely surprised. It turns out this guy was talking to her when I found her and he seemed to talk to her the entire time.
Now, legitimately, I might not have wanted to go in and it's not for the reason some might think. I actually talked about this with another wing that same night: I know that whatever happens, even if it's the boyfriend, which it wasn't in this case, I'm confident I'll handle the situation and the chances of me getting into an actual fight are so tiny that it isn't even worth worrying about. I've been in several confrontations in the past and I'm good at getting out of them. The legitimate reason is that me losing to another guy is such a bad trigger for me that it would probably ruin my night (though maybe I'd get even more motivated for the future). It also might have been likely I lose to this guy because she actually knew this guy enough to meet him at this bar.
I should have gone in for the practice and that if I just go in casually, I might find out he's just a guy friend or maybe she'll just like me. The reason for practice is that quality girls are always going to have orbiters around or just guys trying to hook up with them. It's known that the hottest girls aren't just going to there by themselves or in an easy situation to pick them up. Yeah it happens, and it's more likely in say Vegas or on their vacation, but even there, one should expect competing guys.
The only way I'm going to get comfortable dealing with that is to put myself in those situation. My old wing that got married had told me about several situations with hot girls where he had to even get rid of dudes she also invited to meet her. I remember that he told me that he hates having to do all that but he made himself do it.
Trouble in the PUA house:
Let me just end with this. Seagull showed up at the house with a girl that was totally DTF. I was there because I had stayed out with the roommate while Seagull had been working another girl. He told us she might bring a friend but when she showed up alone, I just left. I figured it was an easy close as she had even text him, "I'm not staying over" which is an obvious sign that she wants to hook up.
I woke up to a message this afternoon that apparently, his roommate had stolen the girl from him. I wouldn't have imagined that being an outcome. Yeah guys do that shit, and I used to try to do that on the streets (and I should work on that skill again). Wings are not supposed to do that, and it's even worse when a roommate does that as it's going to be an ongoing situation. It's worse when someone you trust does it because naturally, you'd talk up your friends rather than taking preventative steps to prevent the girl from being stolen.
I guess I learned cheaply and I'll argue that Seagull learned a cheap lesson. This girl wasn't that hot and it's better it happened to him here rather than one that he really wanted. The lesson was cheap for me as I was thinking I might hang out with the PUA house guys some more as Seagull will be busy for the next two months.
Now, I'm glad I found this out because I won't be going out with that wing even though I'm sure he'll say he was sorry and was drunk. I'm also going to be proactive by making the rules clear with MMA as I relate to him what happened in a few minutes.
I've been lucky to have wings that proactively try to help me and that would never steal a girl from me. Nintendo, back in the day, got me a lay by having me bring tacos to his place a few years ago, for example. Nintendo could have stolen girls from me because his game is better and he's just more confident in many ways but he never did so. I've had positive experiences with my other wings I've gone out with, save one moment when three of us tried to pick up this one girl at the same time (and I think we learned from that debacle as one of those guys was a solid wing for me and even gave me a key to pull to his room in Vegas two Christmases ago when I was there with my mother).
I'm also lucky this didn't happen to me as it really would have messed me up. I've mentioned that losing a girl to another guy is like my worst trigger as it happened a lot when I sucked at game and it reminds me of how I never got girls when I was a total AFC.
I'll close by saying all of what I've written above just solidifies what Derek said in the video about developing yourself into that alpha dominant male who knows how to handle tough situations. Again, the hottest girls are going to have the competing guys so I need to know this. It's also just a better way to live life and I've seen that in just the improvements I've made within myself in this aspect of my personality.
I was inspired by last night due to two reasons:
1) My wing got a girl stolen by his roommate at this PUA house
2) I was in this decent set that didn't work out on the street but then I had another chance at the bar but I didn't take it because I didn't want to deal with the guy friend.
Stealing:
I see that I'm learning lessons for free or cheaply from mistakes or situations my wings have found themselves in lately.
Let me start by discussing literal stealing. MMA pulled this girl last week that stole a bunch of hit stuff. I'm going to get the full report today as I'm picking him up but I imagine he took her home and then fell asleep and she stole a bunch of shit.
I've been thinking that the way my place is set up, this can happen to me. I've finally taken some steps to prevent such a thing from happening but I'm not fully insulated yet. The good news for me is that if I drive a girl here, I will be sober as I actually have to drive her and since I go to bed after the sun comes out, chances are that I'm not going to fall asleep before she does. Still, I moved some valuables to another room and I'm going to hide my credit cards and gift cards. Previously, that stuff was just lying around and a girl could have easily taken one and I wouldn't even notice it for a long time unless it was one of my primary cards.
Another thing I can do is just to not girls stay over. I remember that in a Derek interview, he says one key to hot girls is that you can't let them stay over the first night, as tempting as it might be. Now, I've probably only pulled one girl that might fit into this category, but I should consider that strategy. Briefly, the reason is that with super hot girls, every guy is going to try to have her stay over so you stand out when you're not so attached afterwards.
Competing guys:
My lesson is that I should have gone into that set even though the guy friend or guy that's trying to hook up with her was there. We opened this 4 girls basically in front of the PUA house. My girl seemed into me and I thought about number closing (on a sidenote, I think I'm finally motivated to get on snapchat and instagram to help with game). I heard one of my wings talk about the girls coming to the house for a quick shot. They start walking away and they don't herd any of the girls.
I found out later that one wing was talking to a genuine lesbian and Seagull's girl wasn't into him and vice versa. I guess I was the only one that thought the set was good. I tried moving them to the house and one and possibly two girls were down but I couldn't move all four of them. I hated that I was mistaken in the plan as it would have been more solid had I known my group didn't care about actually moving htis girl.
Fast forward about 40 minutes later, and I see this girl in another venue. I had heard her telling her friends that they might go there so I wasn't entirely surprised. It turns out this guy was talking to her when I found her and he seemed to talk to her the entire time.
Now, legitimately, I might not have wanted to go in and it's not for the reason some might think. I actually talked about this with another wing that same night: I know that whatever happens, even if it's the boyfriend, which it wasn't in this case, I'm confident I'll handle the situation and the chances of me getting into an actual fight are so tiny that it isn't even worth worrying about. I've been in several confrontations in the past and I'm good at getting out of them. The legitimate reason is that me losing to another guy is such a bad trigger for me that it would probably ruin my night (though maybe I'd get even more motivated for the future). It also might have been likely I lose to this guy because she actually knew this guy enough to meet him at this bar.
I should have gone in for the practice and that if I just go in casually, I might find out he's just a guy friend or maybe she'll just like me. The reason for practice is that quality girls are always going to have orbiters around or just guys trying to hook up with them. It's known that the hottest girls aren't just going to there by themselves or in an easy situation to pick them up. Yeah it happens, and it's more likely in say Vegas or on their vacation, but even there, one should expect competing guys.
The only way I'm going to get comfortable dealing with that is to put myself in those situation. My old wing that got married had told me about several situations with hot girls where he had to even get rid of dudes she also invited to meet her. I remember that he told me that he hates having to do all that but he made himself do it.
Trouble in the PUA house:
Let me just end with this. Seagull showed up at the house with a girl that was totally DTF. I was there because I had stayed out with the roommate while Seagull had been working another girl. He told us she might bring a friend but when she showed up alone, I just left. I figured it was an easy close as she had even text him, "I'm not staying over" which is an obvious sign that she wants to hook up.
I woke up to a message this afternoon that apparently, his roommate had stolen the girl from him. I wouldn't have imagined that being an outcome. Yeah guys do that shit, and I used to try to do that on the streets (and I should work on that skill again). Wings are not supposed to do that, and it's even worse when a roommate does that as it's going to be an ongoing situation. It's worse when someone you trust does it because naturally, you'd talk up your friends rather than taking preventative steps to prevent the girl from being stolen.
I guess I learned cheaply and I'll argue that Seagull learned a cheap lesson. This girl wasn't that hot and it's better it happened to him here rather than one that he really wanted. The lesson was cheap for me as I was thinking I might hang out with the PUA house guys some more as Seagull will be busy for the next two months.
Now, I'm glad I found this out because I won't be going out with that wing even though I'm sure he'll say he was sorry and was drunk. I'm also going to be proactive by making the rules clear with MMA as I relate to him what happened in a few minutes.
I've been lucky to have wings that proactively try to help me and that would never steal a girl from me. Nintendo, back in the day, got me a lay by having me bring tacos to his place a few years ago, for example. Nintendo could have stolen girls from me because his game is better and he's just more confident in many ways but he never did so. I've had positive experiences with my other wings I've gone out with, save one moment when three of us tried to pick up this one girl at the same time (and I think we learned from that debacle as one of those guys was a solid wing for me and even gave me a key to pull to his room in Vegas two Christmases ago when I was there with my mother).
I'm also lucky this didn't happen to me as it really would have messed me up. I've mentioned that losing a girl to another guy is like my worst trigger as it happened a lot when I sucked at game and it reminds me of how I never got girls when I was a total AFC.
I'll close by saying all of what I've written above just solidifies what Derek said in the video about developing yourself into that alpha dominant male who knows how to handle tough situations. Again, the hottest girls are going to have the competing guys so I need to know this. It's also just a better way to live life and I've seen that in just the improvements I've made within myself in this aspect of my personality.
Saturday, June 30, 2018
Sex is not a holy grail
I honestly felt fine as I was driving home. My ego didn't feel devalidated as I saw MMA pull at the very end of the night. He opened this black girl who turned out to be on vacation from Minnesota. He even gave me a ride to my car as part of his pull. I'll give him credit for wanting to drive me. I remember I said I'd just walk as it was only a few blocks but the girl strangely felt more comfortable with me being in the car for a few blocks that having me just wander off. This was as I had left the bar with that 2-set girl telling me not to touch her and Seagull seeming to be in a good set that I got busted out of.
Seagull claims I could have hooked up with that one girl but I honestly think my posts last night and my self talk has gotten me to the right place. Just last night, I might have beat myself up for missing out on this possible lay opportunity. I think tonight is evidence that I may have finally got myself into the right head space: sex is not a holy grail.
Sex is not something that's so far away that it seems impossible. That was true when I first started sarging, yet I somehow kept a positive attitude and was able to make massive changes in myself over the years with only blind faith pushing me forward. I think I recognize what I was writing about before: that unlike when I first started, I've actually had sex a bunch of times from girls I met through cold approach pickup. As I wrote last night, the two serious girlfriends I had were only possible because I learned this stuff.
I think the good responses I got tonight have convinced me that if I keep going out, I'm going to wind up having sex with an attractive woman. There's a decent chance that I'll even get a snowball effect out of that and I'll get multiple closes in a short period of time thereafter. Tonight, the attraction was there and the close opportunities were there. I just failed from a little bad luck and some bad tactics that I'm trying to figure out how to correct next time.
I also felt that for a lot of sets early on, I really did have it in my head that I have value and that I should expect that the girls are going to like me. I think what helped with this is just thinking about my positive attributes as I was driving to the club.
I watched this Jlaix video last night that recommended to a guy that he should put himself in some more situations where he's the center of attention and that will help his game. That clip helped me realized that I'm not giving myself enough credit. How the hell do I even let myself feel uncomfortable talking to a set of girls?
I don't need Jlaix's advice because I've been in so many of those situations from doing all the eating contests. I've been the center of attention of several fairly large crowds are various festivals over the years. I've been in contests where I pushed myself to the absolute limit and came out victorious. I've done the post contest interviews for media or in front of the crowd as I'm in that haze of victory and overeating.
RSD Derek talks about how I'm supposed to know the value I bring and again, I've been focusing too much on my deficiencies and not enough on all the good qualities that I have. He talks about how I'm supposed to be able to find reasons why she should chose me over all the other guys at the club. There are other guys that are of course objectively better, but I do myself a disservice selling myself so short in recent times.
I really don't feel comfortable talking about myself but I guess I need to write this down in this ego based way to just further ingrain the idea into my head. I'll even write it in the crude way that I know is going to make me giggle when I think about it:
If I ever have to ask myself why I'm deserving, I should remember that there aren't many guys in that bar, and often there aren't any of have felt that thrill of victory that I have in some of these eating contests. There are the easy contests where a few seconds in, I can see the look of utter defeat in my opponents. There are the more difficult ones where I've gone up against solid competitors, and even competitors that normally would beat me, yet I somehow came out victorious. I found that inner motivation to just push that extra little bit to get the victory.
That same inner drive was there last year when I did that crazy two month hour poker promotion. I played 18 hour sessions because I just wanted to prove to myself that I could drive myself so hard.
When I doubt myself, I need only think about those two things I just wrote about and that's not to mention the other good qualities I have that I didn't even write down here because I do feel uncomfortable listing my good qualities in a place that is accessible to the public. I really do believe in being modest, and I've proven that when I've done post contest interviews.
Derek and Jeffy have a good point that I need to remember about how they view pickup as marketing and not sales. The idea is that you aren't trying to sell a girl on yourself, you're supposed to just be putting out your brand out there and it's on her to recognize the value of what you're putting out there. They talk about how you shouldn't take rejection personally because whatever brand you're offering, if you do it right, isn't going to appeal to everyone.
I believe the analogy they use is that if you're brand is say Mercedes, you wouldn't get mad that someone doesn't want your brand. It has intrinsic value and Mercedes wouldn't worry if someone that wanted a Toyota Yaris doesn't want the Mercedes that you're offering.
I'll just close by writing that I think I can continue with this right attitude if I just remember the sex isn't some abstract thing that's never going to happen for me. It's happened in the past from pickup and if I keep doing what I'm doing and constantly work on improving, then it's inevitably going to happen again. Besides that, it's not some magical thing that's going to fix everything in my life. It'll be great and I'll feel more confident but there is no end game. If I just got laid, the next night, I'd still have to go out and start the night out just like I will tonight. Pickup is a lifestyle that I just have to stick with and I can have the life I always wanted. I also have to stick with work and exercise as those are important as well and there's no "solving" that part of my life either.
Seagull claims I could have hooked up with that one girl but I honestly think my posts last night and my self talk has gotten me to the right place. Just last night, I might have beat myself up for missing out on this possible lay opportunity. I think tonight is evidence that I may have finally got myself into the right head space: sex is not a holy grail.
Sex is not something that's so far away that it seems impossible. That was true when I first started sarging, yet I somehow kept a positive attitude and was able to make massive changes in myself over the years with only blind faith pushing me forward. I think I recognize what I was writing about before: that unlike when I first started, I've actually had sex a bunch of times from girls I met through cold approach pickup. As I wrote last night, the two serious girlfriends I had were only possible because I learned this stuff.
I think the good responses I got tonight have convinced me that if I keep going out, I'm going to wind up having sex with an attractive woman. There's a decent chance that I'll even get a snowball effect out of that and I'll get multiple closes in a short period of time thereafter. Tonight, the attraction was there and the close opportunities were there. I just failed from a little bad luck and some bad tactics that I'm trying to figure out how to correct next time.
I also felt that for a lot of sets early on, I really did have it in my head that I have value and that I should expect that the girls are going to like me. I think what helped with this is just thinking about my positive attributes as I was driving to the club.
I watched this Jlaix video last night that recommended to a guy that he should put himself in some more situations where he's the center of attention and that will help his game. That clip helped me realized that I'm not giving myself enough credit. How the hell do I even let myself feel uncomfortable talking to a set of girls?
I don't need Jlaix's advice because I've been in so many of those situations from doing all the eating contests. I've been the center of attention of several fairly large crowds are various festivals over the years. I've been in contests where I pushed myself to the absolute limit and came out victorious. I've done the post contest interviews for media or in front of the crowd as I'm in that haze of victory and overeating.
RSD Derek talks about how I'm supposed to know the value I bring and again, I've been focusing too much on my deficiencies and not enough on all the good qualities that I have. He talks about how I'm supposed to be able to find reasons why she should chose me over all the other guys at the club. There are other guys that are of course objectively better, but I do myself a disservice selling myself so short in recent times.
I really don't feel comfortable talking about myself but I guess I need to write this down in this ego based way to just further ingrain the idea into my head. I'll even write it in the crude way that I know is going to make me giggle when I think about it:
If I ever have to ask myself why I'm deserving, I should remember that there aren't many guys in that bar, and often there aren't any of have felt that thrill of victory that I have in some of these eating contests. There are the easy contests where a few seconds in, I can see the look of utter defeat in my opponents. There are the more difficult ones where I've gone up against solid competitors, and even competitors that normally would beat me, yet I somehow came out victorious. I found that inner motivation to just push that extra little bit to get the victory.
That same inner drive was there last year when I did that crazy two month hour poker promotion. I played 18 hour sessions because I just wanted to prove to myself that I could drive myself so hard.
When I doubt myself, I need only think about those two things I just wrote about and that's not to mention the other good qualities I have that I didn't even write down here because I do feel uncomfortable listing my good qualities in a place that is accessible to the public. I really do believe in being modest, and I've proven that when I've done post contest interviews.
Derek and Jeffy have a good point that I need to remember about how they view pickup as marketing and not sales. The idea is that you aren't trying to sell a girl on yourself, you're supposed to just be putting out your brand out there and it's on her to recognize the value of what you're putting out there. They talk about how you shouldn't take rejection personally because whatever brand you're offering, if you do it right, isn't going to appeal to everyone.
I believe the analogy they use is that if you're brand is say Mercedes, you wouldn't get mad that someone doesn't want your brand. It has intrinsic value and Mercedes wouldn't worry if someone that wanted a Toyota Yaris doesn't want the Mercedes that you're offering.
I'll just close by writing that I think I can continue with this right attitude if I just remember the sex isn't some abstract thing that's never going to happen for me. It's happened in the past from pickup and if I keep doing what I'm doing and constantly work on improving, then it's inevitably going to happen again. Besides that, it's not some magical thing that's going to fix everything in my life. It'll be great and I'll feel more confident but there is no end game. If I just got laid, the next night, I'd still have to go out and start the night out just like I will tonight. Pickup is a lifestyle that I just have to stick with and I can have the life I always wanted. I also have to stick with work and exercise as those are important as well and there's no "solving" that part of my life either.
Sober AMOGing
I probably could have just tacked this on the other post. I could have just skipped writing this post. Part of why I stopped tracking my nights is that this takes too much time. I suppose I want to continue as I realize I am getting value from doing this. I think about what RSD Derek says in this video from Vegas Summit where he talks about how one should analyze two hours for every one hour we're out in the bar.
AMOG:
This is just some dumb story, but it amused me how it ended.
There was this blonde on the phone and I came up and approached. I was just blabbering stuff at her and not even touching her. This guy in a Hawaiian shirt came up and said, "She's okay" and shoved my shoulder. He may or may not have been with her. This happened last week. Guys sometimes see me and they think they can get in by acting like a White Night. I sometimes just look like an easy target.
Now I can just walk away but I make an effort to prolong these confrontations for two reasons. First, I trust in my ability to get out of them as I've done so successfully many times in the past, in even more precarious situations than this one. Second, and I've mentioned this in the past, I admit that part of me remembers how I used to let guys pick on me in high school. Now that I'm more confident in myself, I like to fight back a little bit. I'm talking verbally and I mean standing up for myself. I don't mean actually initiating an actual fist fight because that's just stupid. Besides the legal ramifications and possible physical injuries, it's just stupid because I'm trying to pick up girls and getting in a fight gives me no chance to do that and ruins possible chances for the rest of the night (I'm not like that guy in Tahoe that I've written about that got punched in the face and wanted to go back to the bar because he wasn't even phased by it.)
I also don't want to walk away because the guy physically touched me. It's not okay for some random asshole to physically assault me and I make sure to let them know that.
Here's the rant I went on. I learned from my AC set to be calm and not raise my voice. I also was completely sober so in better control of my emotions. I said something like the following:
Oh, I get it man. You're trying to be a white knight. Great man, good moves. You probably don't even know this girl. First of all, you don't get to touch me. I'm not moving. I'm standing here. I'm not talking to her or touching her. I get it though, you gotta prove yourself. Next, you're gonna ask me to do a one arm push up contest (an old Tyler AMOG line).
This guy just sat there not saying anything. I realized that I was actually looking dumb at this point because I was investing too much into this. I could have simply just said that he's not allowed to touch me and make a joke about the white knight move.
I think he handled me properly except for the initial shove. I think I gained respect for the dude because him not saying anything made me realize I was overdoing it. I remember that I realized I was overdoing it so I just laughed. I put my arm on him and said, "Have a nice night man."
I walked by later and he actually did know the girl.
It's good to be sober:
That little confrontation made me realize that I like being sober. I noticed that besides that set, I was more willing to talk to girls that had guys around. Being sober helps because I know I'll have my full faculties to verbally deescalate any potential problems. Worst case scenario, me being sober gives me an advantage on any drunk guys that actually want to physically escalate.
Also, because I've been going out and finding myself in a few of these AMOG confrontations, I'm getting more comfortable with these situations again.
That's good because I shouldn't be afraid to approach sets with guys in them. It's just when I'm not going out regularly, I don't feel as confident in my abilities to deal with issues.
AMOG:
This is just some dumb story, but it amused me how it ended.
There was this blonde on the phone and I came up and approached. I was just blabbering stuff at her and not even touching her. This guy in a Hawaiian shirt came up and said, "She's okay" and shoved my shoulder. He may or may not have been with her. This happened last week. Guys sometimes see me and they think they can get in by acting like a White Night. I sometimes just look like an easy target.
Now I can just walk away but I make an effort to prolong these confrontations for two reasons. First, I trust in my ability to get out of them as I've done so successfully many times in the past, in even more precarious situations than this one. Second, and I've mentioned this in the past, I admit that part of me remembers how I used to let guys pick on me in high school. Now that I'm more confident in myself, I like to fight back a little bit. I'm talking verbally and I mean standing up for myself. I don't mean actually initiating an actual fist fight because that's just stupid. Besides the legal ramifications and possible physical injuries, it's just stupid because I'm trying to pick up girls and getting in a fight gives me no chance to do that and ruins possible chances for the rest of the night (I'm not like that guy in Tahoe that I've written about that got punched in the face and wanted to go back to the bar because he wasn't even phased by it.)
I also don't want to walk away because the guy physically touched me. It's not okay for some random asshole to physically assault me and I make sure to let them know that.
Here's the rant I went on. I learned from my AC set to be calm and not raise my voice. I also was completely sober so in better control of my emotions. I said something like the following:
Oh, I get it man. You're trying to be a white knight. Great man, good moves. You probably don't even know this girl. First of all, you don't get to touch me. I'm not moving. I'm standing here. I'm not talking to her or touching her. I get it though, you gotta prove yourself. Next, you're gonna ask me to do a one arm push up contest (an old Tyler AMOG line).
This guy just sat there not saying anything. I realized that I was actually looking dumb at this point because I was investing too much into this. I could have simply just said that he's not allowed to touch me and make a joke about the white knight move.
I think he handled me properly except for the initial shove. I think I gained respect for the dude because him not saying anything made me realize I was overdoing it. I remember that I realized I was overdoing it so I just laughed. I put my arm on him and said, "Have a nice night man."
I walked by later and he actually did know the girl.
It's good to be sober:
That little confrontation made me realize that I like being sober. I noticed that besides that set, I was more willing to talk to girls that had guys around. Being sober helps because I know I'll have my full faculties to verbally deescalate any potential problems. Worst case scenario, me being sober gives me an advantage on any drunk guys that actually want to physically escalate.
Also, because I've been going out and finding myself in a few of these AMOG confrontations, I'm getting more comfortable with these situations again.
That's good because I shouldn't be afraid to approach sets with guys in them. It's just when I'm not going out regularly, I don't feel as confident in my abilities to deal with issues.
Pull chances & bad tactics
Let me start by saying that I guess writing in here does help me progress and that's why I'm back again here 24 hours later.
Tonight, it felt like so much happened in so little time. I started late as I scooped up Seagull from the airport. My easy parking spot by his house was gone which actually turned out to be a blessing. I had planned on a quick three drink cheat code sequence at his place but I abandoned the idea when I was forced to park closer to the bar.
This was the first time I really gave a full effort completely sober and I was reminded of the benefits of going out completely sober. Having warmed up yesterday and being committed to doing things better tonight, I jumped right in without that little period of hesitation and self doubt. Having a few drinks helps circumvent this completely on days when I'm not already starting somewhat in the zone. I also notice that being drunk helps me on the dance floor because I really let loose more. Tonight, I proved that I can still have good enough confidence and moves on the dance floor.
Dance floor girl:
I think my first real chance was this cute blonde on the dance floor. I actually wish I could remember exactly how I started things because I sometimes do feel like I don't have opening on the dance floor internalized. I think this was just one of those situation where I was moving and having enough fun that when I made eye contact with her, she just started dancing with me. I remember pulling her in and spinning her around: the standard moves. She seemed high buying temperature but I remember the friend seemed colder. She was on the phone and she didn't respond well to MMA. Later, I saw her all friendly with some other guy that busted out.
I probably missed a chance by not going back in again. While it may not be ideal that the friend doesn't like my wing or doesn't seem high buying temperature, perhaps, I should have forced myself to go in and try to make this close happen. At the very least, I could have gone in again and screened her for logistics and maybe tried some more kino escalation to see if she really would be down for leaving with me.
The pulls aren't always going to be easy and I remember that I just recently watched an RSD video talking about how it's good to recognize that some pulls are going to be awkward and rough. It's not good to be a one trick pony and just get quick pulls that go smoothly.
Street dancing:
As much as I did approach early on, I failed to go into this set at the same bar as the previous dance floor girl. Seagull had gone in and MMA had as well. I think my issue is the pale girl that I was interested in was talking to some guy the whole time. I admit I chickened out with this petite blonde in that group for whatever reason. Normally, I'd beat myself up for not having tried but I'm trying to be positive. Realistically, I can't hold myself to the standard that I'm going to open every single set. It's not like I wasn't trying some other angles at the time.
It worked out anyway as there was this other friend that I hadn't seen inside the bar but showed up outside. The set ended up being one guy and like 5-6 girls. I believe they were Irish. This one thin brunette was super high energy and I started dancing with her on the street. She was high buying temperature and I almost got her to walk away with me for tacos. I got like 5-10 feet away and then I think one of her friend's got her attention.
I had this moment where Seagull was talking to some PUA guy he recognized. I knew the three girls were about to get an Uber , so I tried to pull MMA back into the set.
Don't waste time arguing:
My girl recognized MMA from the bar. I had seen him open this other blonde friend of there's. My girl had bad memories of MMA because she started arguing with him about how he was talking to her other friend. Rather that just ignoring it or changing the subject, he started arguing with her and that ruined the set. While that BS was going on, the friend called an Uber. They must have lived far away because I heard her say she was sending them the Uber split for the $30 ride. A $30 ride might go all the way to the airport so they must live like 20-30 minutes away.
I tried to change the subject and end the stupid debate that was going on. Ultimately, I ended up giving up as I knew the Uber was coming and the arguing seemed to ruin the mood.
I'll just close by saying that I caught myself arguing with a girl and then mid argument, I even verbalized, "Why am I wasting my time arguing? This is stupid."
I had opened these two blondes and one asked me which was "Division" was, which is this shitty strip of late night bars in Chicago. I told them that they should go elsewhere as that place was shitty. A few minutes later, I saw them again and opened with, "Are you guys still looking for Division? Seriously, don't go there."
One girl just started going off on me telling me to go away. I think I said, "Okay, that's fine, but seriously, you're not going to like those bars." She then went off some more with some nonsense I barely remember.
The friend started defending me and actually reached towards me to grab my arm. She was saying something like, "You're not doing anything wrong." She started telling the friend that I'm nice, etc.
The other girl said, "She's drunk, she doesn't know what she's saying." She might have had a few drunks but she wasn't sloshed.
I argued for a sentence more and then I stopped myself as I said above, "Why am I even wasting my time arguing? This is stupid! I have 30 minutes left" and I left.
You can close this girl:
As I was typing this, Seagull messaged me wanted to talk about this stupid 2-set that he opened on the street. I was in MMA's car as he was going to drive us to the after hours bar. We tried to get them to hop in, but they weren't comfortable so I hopped out. I started talking to the cuter one and we walked towards the bar.
I was having an interesting conversation. It was similar to one I had earlier with this girl in some giant set Seagull had moved prior to this. My target was walking with me and investing in the conversation. At some point, before the bar, I saw her change her stride and pull away from me. I want to say it was when I talked about not wanting to get married and staying single or some topic like that.
We got to the bar, and my target was on the phone. The two girls walked away a little bit and Seagull and I opened these two Irish girls that were sitting outside the bar. We had a good conversation going but the girls wanted to go back inside. In retrospect, I should have anticipated that this would happen and lead them inside, or I should have made it look like my idea to go back inside.
The original 2-set had come back in and we went inside. I remember that Seagull went to the bathroom so I just babbled about something while he was gone. Mine like the song that was playing and I tried to get her to dance. That didn't work.
Later, they wandered off. Seagull said they went to the washroom. They came back out and were in the back. Seagull took this opportunity to tell me that he felt I could hook up with this girl if we went back in. He didn't like the girl he wasn't talking to and mine honestly wasn't attractive enough for him. She had a cute face but my options earlier were better.
I didn't want to go back in because I didn't feel like I was clicking with my target. At the time he was pushing me go in, guys were talking to them as well. My worst scenario was going back in like he suggested and busting out in front of competing guys.
On the one hand, he had a point when he said that I specifically said at the beginning of the night that I recognized I wasn't sticking in sets long enough and I had said I was going to make a effort to stick in longer. Perhaps, I did fail here and I failed with that blonde on the dance floor. On the other hand, I did see how the dynamics changed while we were still walking to the bar.
As I expected:
So, finally I convince him that we're not going back. He opens these 4 Irish girls and he really hooks this one girl. I try to go in and I have the attention of one but I didn't really have it hooked. To my credit, after standing for a minute closed out of the set, I tried to force myself back in. It didn't seem to work so I left and just started talking to random people.
Later, I saw the original 2-set alone at the other end of the bar. I went back in. I probably didn't do the kino right when I went back in. When I reported what happened, he said I went from no kino to trying to touch her. I'm not even sure about that. I think I tried to get her attention by touching her arm and she freaked out.
I don't even like writing about this shit because these bad reactions stick in my head and these are why I often fail to escalate on girls that actually do like me and that want me to touch them. She said, "Don't touch me. Give me some personal space here" and she made a circle motion.
I responded, "Sorry, I was just trying to your attention." When she did the circle motion, I just said, "Okay, whatever, have fun you guys" and left.
Honestly, I don't know if Seagull was right or if this would have been the result regardless. Maybe because I wanted to prove a point, I tried to touch her in a creepy way just so I could prove myself to be right. Maybe us wandering off and not staying with them the entire time was the problem.
Why are you not kinoing these girls:
That was Seagull's question as when he messaged me, he wanted to discuss this set. He said he kept thing going in this set because he wanted to help me get laid. I do appreciate his effort and he's done this for another wing of ours. I think it's amusing in a way, because he failed to do this three weeks ago with that tall brunette at this house. That I've brought that up several times since is probably why he wanted to make an extra effort to help me this time. I'll make sure to again express my gratitude at the effort when I see him Saturday night.
My initial response to Seagull was very defensive. I have to admit that this is a weak point in my game, but my kino was good with that one Irish girl that I was dancing with on the street. I did realize that he didn't see the two dance floor sets I wrote about in this blog. What he saw was me with this 2-set and when I was walking with this other girl.
I didn't do anything in those sets so I shouldn't be surprised that his view is that my default state is not touching girls.
I did recognize that I do have to work on kino with sets that he opened that I join in on. I have to admit that I feel weird as I just came into the set so I don't feel comfortable touch the girl in his set. The solution is what I remember from the old PUA stuff about kino: I have to establish myself as a guy that uses kino with everyone. The way to describe it is maybe to think of a stereotypical Italian guy that touches guys and girls when he talks. I remember that I'm supposed to establish that I'm a kino type of guy early on, even one minute into the interaction. This doesn't mean groping, but just some light friendly touches to establish that I'm that type of guy.
I think there is a difference when I open the set and I see that I've hooked it myself. It's different when I'm talking to the girl and I can see that the eye contact is strong and that she's into me. Still, I need to get the lesson I wrote about in the previous paragraph and work on doing better when I come wing Seagull on his sets. It makes sense that this criticism sticks in his mind because looking back, it seems pretty standard for me to do almost zero kino in sets of his that I've joined.
Tonight, it felt like so much happened in so little time. I started late as I scooped up Seagull from the airport. My easy parking spot by his house was gone which actually turned out to be a blessing. I had planned on a quick three drink cheat code sequence at his place but I abandoned the idea when I was forced to park closer to the bar.
This was the first time I really gave a full effort completely sober and I was reminded of the benefits of going out completely sober. Having warmed up yesterday and being committed to doing things better tonight, I jumped right in without that little period of hesitation and self doubt. Having a few drinks helps circumvent this completely on days when I'm not already starting somewhat in the zone. I also notice that being drunk helps me on the dance floor because I really let loose more. Tonight, I proved that I can still have good enough confidence and moves on the dance floor.
Dance floor girl:
I think my first real chance was this cute blonde on the dance floor. I actually wish I could remember exactly how I started things because I sometimes do feel like I don't have opening on the dance floor internalized. I think this was just one of those situation where I was moving and having enough fun that when I made eye contact with her, she just started dancing with me. I remember pulling her in and spinning her around: the standard moves. She seemed high buying temperature but I remember the friend seemed colder. She was on the phone and she didn't respond well to MMA. Later, I saw her all friendly with some other guy that busted out.
I probably missed a chance by not going back in again. While it may not be ideal that the friend doesn't like my wing or doesn't seem high buying temperature, perhaps, I should have forced myself to go in and try to make this close happen. At the very least, I could have gone in again and screened her for logistics and maybe tried some more kino escalation to see if she really would be down for leaving with me.
The pulls aren't always going to be easy and I remember that I just recently watched an RSD video talking about how it's good to recognize that some pulls are going to be awkward and rough. It's not good to be a one trick pony and just get quick pulls that go smoothly.
Street dancing:
As much as I did approach early on, I failed to go into this set at the same bar as the previous dance floor girl. Seagull had gone in and MMA had as well. I think my issue is the pale girl that I was interested in was talking to some guy the whole time. I admit I chickened out with this petite blonde in that group for whatever reason. Normally, I'd beat myself up for not having tried but I'm trying to be positive. Realistically, I can't hold myself to the standard that I'm going to open every single set. It's not like I wasn't trying some other angles at the time.
It worked out anyway as there was this other friend that I hadn't seen inside the bar but showed up outside. The set ended up being one guy and like 5-6 girls. I believe they were Irish. This one thin brunette was super high energy and I started dancing with her on the street. She was high buying temperature and I almost got her to walk away with me for tacos. I got like 5-10 feet away and then I think one of her friend's got her attention.
I had this moment where Seagull was talking to some PUA guy he recognized. I knew the three girls were about to get an Uber , so I tried to pull MMA back into the set.
Don't waste time arguing:
My girl recognized MMA from the bar. I had seen him open this other blonde friend of there's. My girl had bad memories of MMA because she started arguing with him about how he was talking to her other friend. Rather that just ignoring it or changing the subject, he started arguing with her and that ruined the set. While that BS was going on, the friend called an Uber. They must have lived far away because I heard her say she was sending them the Uber split for the $30 ride. A $30 ride might go all the way to the airport so they must live like 20-30 minutes away.
I tried to change the subject and end the stupid debate that was going on. Ultimately, I ended up giving up as I knew the Uber was coming and the arguing seemed to ruin the mood.
I'll just close by saying that I caught myself arguing with a girl and then mid argument, I even verbalized, "Why am I wasting my time arguing? This is stupid."
I had opened these two blondes and one asked me which was "Division" was, which is this shitty strip of late night bars in Chicago. I told them that they should go elsewhere as that place was shitty. A few minutes later, I saw them again and opened with, "Are you guys still looking for Division? Seriously, don't go there."
One girl just started going off on me telling me to go away. I think I said, "Okay, that's fine, but seriously, you're not going to like those bars." She then went off some more with some nonsense I barely remember.
The friend started defending me and actually reached towards me to grab my arm. She was saying something like, "You're not doing anything wrong." She started telling the friend that I'm nice, etc.
The other girl said, "She's drunk, she doesn't know what she's saying." She might have had a few drunks but she wasn't sloshed.
I argued for a sentence more and then I stopped myself as I said above, "Why am I even wasting my time arguing? This is stupid! I have 30 minutes left" and I left.
You can close this girl:
As I was typing this, Seagull messaged me wanted to talk about this stupid 2-set that he opened on the street. I was in MMA's car as he was going to drive us to the after hours bar. We tried to get them to hop in, but they weren't comfortable so I hopped out. I started talking to the cuter one and we walked towards the bar.
I was having an interesting conversation. It was similar to one I had earlier with this girl in some giant set Seagull had moved prior to this. My target was walking with me and investing in the conversation. At some point, before the bar, I saw her change her stride and pull away from me. I want to say it was when I talked about not wanting to get married and staying single or some topic like that.
We got to the bar, and my target was on the phone. The two girls walked away a little bit and Seagull and I opened these two Irish girls that were sitting outside the bar. We had a good conversation going but the girls wanted to go back inside. In retrospect, I should have anticipated that this would happen and lead them inside, or I should have made it look like my idea to go back inside.
The original 2-set had come back in and we went inside. I remember that Seagull went to the bathroom so I just babbled about something while he was gone. Mine like the song that was playing and I tried to get her to dance. That didn't work.
Later, they wandered off. Seagull said they went to the washroom. They came back out and were in the back. Seagull took this opportunity to tell me that he felt I could hook up with this girl if we went back in. He didn't like the girl he wasn't talking to and mine honestly wasn't attractive enough for him. She had a cute face but my options earlier were better.
I didn't want to go back in because I didn't feel like I was clicking with my target. At the time he was pushing me go in, guys were talking to them as well. My worst scenario was going back in like he suggested and busting out in front of competing guys.
On the one hand, he had a point when he said that I specifically said at the beginning of the night that I recognized I wasn't sticking in sets long enough and I had said I was going to make a effort to stick in longer. Perhaps, I did fail here and I failed with that blonde on the dance floor. On the other hand, I did see how the dynamics changed while we were still walking to the bar.
As I expected:
So, finally I convince him that we're not going back. He opens these 4 Irish girls and he really hooks this one girl. I try to go in and I have the attention of one but I didn't really have it hooked. To my credit, after standing for a minute closed out of the set, I tried to force myself back in. It didn't seem to work so I left and just started talking to random people.
Later, I saw the original 2-set alone at the other end of the bar. I went back in. I probably didn't do the kino right when I went back in. When I reported what happened, he said I went from no kino to trying to touch her. I'm not even sure about that. I think I tried to get her attention by touching her arm and she freaked out.
I don't even like writing about this shit because these bad reactions stick in my head and these are why I often fail to escalate on girls that actually do like me and that want me to touch them. She said, "Don't touch me. Give me some personal space here" and she made a circle motion.
I responded, "Sorry, I was just trying to your attention." When she did the circle motion, I just said, "Okay, whatever, have fun you guys" and left.
Honestly, I don't know if Seagull was right or if this would have been the result regardless. Maybe because I wanted to prove a point, I tried to touch her in a creepy way just so I could prove myself to be right. Maybe us wandering off and not staying with them the entire time was the problem.
Why are you not kinoing these girls:
That was Seagull's question as when he messaged me, he wanted to discuss this set. He said he kept thing going in this set because he wanted to help me get laid. I do appreciate his effort and he's done this for another wing of ours. I think it's amusing in a way, because he failed to do this three weeks ago with that tall brunette at this house. That I've brought that up several times since is probably why he wanted to make an extra effort to help me this time. I'll make sure to again express my gratitude at the effort when I see him Saturday night.
My initial response to Seagull was very defensive. I have to admit that this is a weak point in my game, but my kino was good with that one Irish girl that I was dancing with on the street. I did realize that he didn't see the two dance floor sets I wrote about in this blog. What he saw was me with this 2-set and when I was walking with this other girl.
I didn't do anything in those sets so I shouldn't be surprised that his view is that my default state is not touching girls.
I did recognize that I do have to work on kino with sets that he opened that I join in on. I have to admit that I feel weird as I just came into the set so I don't feel comfortable touch the girl in his set. The solution is what I remember from the old PUA stuff about kino: I have to establish myself as a guy that uses kino with everyone. The way to describe it is maybe to think of a stereotypical Italian guy that touches guys and girls when he talks. I remember that I'm supposed to establish that I'm a kino type of guy early on, even one minute into the interaction. This doesn't mean groping, but just some light friendly touches to establish that I'm that type of guy.
I think there is a difference when I open the set and I see that I've hooked it myself. It's different when I'm talking to the girl and I can see that the eye contact is strong and that she's into me. Still, I need to get the lesson I wrote about in the previous paragraph and work on doing better when I come wing Seagull on his sets. It makes sense that this criticism sticks in his mind because looking back, it seems pretty standard for me to do almost zero kino in sets of his that I've joined.
Friday, June 29, 2018
The Catch 22 of Pickup
For those that don't get the reference, this term comes from a Joseph Heller book. In my case, every time I'm stuck in some sort of rut of not getting laid, which feels like forever right now, I feel like I'm caught in a Pickup Catch-22:
In order to have sex with a girl, I have to feel confident. To feel confident, I have to have sex with a girl.
I know that part of that really is a my problem right now. I remember two years ago, when I hooked up with that tall girl in Vegas that is the hottest girl I ever hooked up with, that I had so much confidence after that. I remember going out right after that and just seeing the hottest girls in the club and feeling confident as I approached them. I actually had a problem in that I ran shitty game in that I expected that I could just go up and be confident and I'd get the girl.
The point is that hooking up with a girl definitely can make me more confident.
I think, though, that my focus on this supposed Catch-22 is just me being negative. I can give a counterexample not even digging too far back into the memory banks. I had a quick pull around this time last year. I remember I opened this girl in front of Paris as Seagull was talking to a set. I recognized immediately that she was super high buying temperature and I started to lead her towards my hotel. I said we were getting drinks at Casino Royale but I ended up just stopping at the gift shop and Linq and taking her upstairs.
I just looked and I guess I posted about that as it was the girl Seagull and I shared. Anyway, after that I felt confident even though things got screwed up. It didn't translate the next day as I don't remember that burst of self confidence when we went to the club the next day.
The month of progress:
It's too easy for me to focus on the fact that I haven't actually been inside a girl since my return to the game and of course, I didn't get any for the months that I quit. Realistically, I think I am using it as an excuse to be negative. Sure, it's natural to take a little hit to the ego when I've seen Seagull get two quick pulls since I've been back, and I've also seen MMA pull twice.
I remember watching a video (I think it was a Tyler video), that basically says you have to make your own progress in the game.
While today, I didn't open as much as I would like, I guess the part of me that likes to be negative forgot how my first few days back was. I barely opened the first day I came back. It took a lot of soul searching and just pure determination to get me to the point where I was opening like the old days.
I think it'll be helpful to just list a few cool other experiences I've had to contrast that with my first few days back:
-I opened this tall blonde in our second AC Monday night at the Borgota club. There was no one on the dance floor at this time, and I dragged her out there and I got that dance floor started. I literally did. After I dragged her on, this couple that was standing near the dance floor got out there and then people started filling the dance floor.
I guess I forgot that I went from maybe half-ass opening 2-3 sets in a whole evening to being that fun party guy who gets the club going. I guess I forgot where I started this journey many years ago. I forgot that I used to be terrified of the dance floor and that I'd stand in the club all night staring a girls, and wishing I could even talk to girl.
-Early on, I was winging Seagull in this 2-set. This was just when I had begun to open a lot again and really give a good effort. It turns out I probably chose wrong as Seagull later said he thinks I had a decent chance to close the girl I was working in that 2-set. I just remember that she didn't seem that into me so when we walked into this other bar, I took an opportunity that presented itself. This larger girl was on the dance floor and I just grabbed her and started dancing. Even in my newbie mode, I realized she was ready to make out and we started making out. After a few mins, I lead her out of the bar. (Thinking back, I actually lead properly and didn't do debate game. When I'm wondering what to do in quick pull situations on the street, I need to remember in my head how I lead in this set and do the same.)
I ended up with a funny experience and I definitely made the wrong choice in that the girl ended up not being able to walk halfway to the taco place. She was too drunk. It worked out in that it's good I didn't get her back to my car as it would have sucked to have her get sick there. It worked out, as it was a good positive experience (up to the point that she got sick), and I had some confidence after that. Seagull had told me to leave her but I'm too nice. I stayed with her and she actually turned on me when this Uber driver that had been stalking us for like 30 minutes offered to drive her home. He let me take a pic of his driver's license so I let him drive her. I had even found her friends on facebook and messaged them the info. The one friend told me this girl's sister text her that this girl had made it home okay. That friend, not surprisingly, told me this wasn't the first time that girl had disappeared and been too drunk.
Anyway, this was basically a pull but it just got screwed up because the girl couldn't handle her liquor.
-I mentioned it in the previous post, but I should feel great about that Russian girl that didn't speak English. I remembered, at the time, that there was some RSD video about how eye contact, and body language are the most important, and that it's possible to game girls even if you can't speak to them. Whenever I'm wondering what to do in street game at the end of the night, I should think back to this set and how I used my eye contact and kino (and some hand motions) to create attraction and lead.
My negative side wants to focus on how I still haven't gotten laid, but this was a great interaction. It reinforced some crucial concepts that I need in the field. I shouldn't focus on how I didn't have sex with her and just focused on how I did enjoy making out with her and how the whole thing unfolded. I even have a pic with her as she wanted us to take a pic to remember the evening.
-I actually had a long Irish set that Seagull did the heavy lifting on. This was early in my return. If I had my game from just a few days later, I would have at least hooked up with this girl in red, and we both said I had a chance for a threesome if I had been a little more confident and/or experienced. It even crossed my mind at the time that the 3-some was the move but I didn't follow through.
It did remind me of how much I love the Irish accent on women. I remember we were playing beer pong and I loved how this blonde Irish girl sounded when she said, "Fuck" or say any other cuss words when she's mess up.
-That same night of the Russian girl, I had two decent prospects lined up at the club. (I loved having that club in the hotel as it had a liberal reentry policy. We could have drinks in the room to maintain our buzz without paying the high club drink prices. I also successfully used it three times over two different nights to get girls to come upstairs for a drink.
There are actually several other positive stories but I want to go to sleep and I think I've typed enough to change my negative attitude.
Realistically, I've had some good experiences and if I keep moving forward and trying my hardest, it's inevitable that I'm going to hook up with a girl. I have to accept that I'm going to have some nights that aren't as good (tonight and Wednesday). I have to stop being negative. If I'm feeling a little negative or self conscious at the bar/club, I need to take action, and then think about the cool moments I've had recently and in the past.
I surely am using this Catch-22 idea to be negative. Just because I took time off and I'm not pulling doesn't negate all the progress I've made over the years. It doesn't negate that I've hooked up with girls in the past. Learning pickup works: all the girls I ever dated or hooked up with after my first girlfriend were due to discovering this stuff and applying it.
If I'm positive, I'm more likely to actually close. MMA is probably right that success comes in waves. It should also make me feel better that he said he went out for 3 months prior to his current good run and didn't get any lays from cold approach (he said he was fortunate to have a regular girl at the time so at least he hooked up with her). Just because I haven't closed doesn't mean that I suck at this completely.
Staying in, Resisting the negativity
I can't believe I'm finally writing again. I basically took like 6 months off going out twice and really having shitty game and a poor outlook. Somehow, I took initiative to go out with Seagull just at the end of May and several days of going out consecutively brought my game back to a somewhat acceptable level.
Crazy AC stories:
There actually are some more interesting things to post about that I just didn't have the time to write about. Like last week, I stopped this Russian girl walking the opposite way in the hotel. With her barely understanding English, I got her to have pizza with me. With a little help from google translate, and Seagull distracting the friend, I made out with her in my room but she didn't want to have sex with me. Still was an interesting experience that warrants it's own post. The following night, I pushed hooker game farther that I probably thought possible. After pondering it overnight, I realized I could have gotten a little farther than I did. Basically, without paying, these two girls were letting me touch their tits and they both stroked my cock for like 5 seconds each. My friends that are willing to pay probably think I'm crazy for turning down the deal they were offering. They started at $300 each girl and by the time I was kicking them out, they were willing to go $100 for one girl, and I might have been able to talk that down even more. I just knew I wouldn't feel good about myself afterward so I passed.
Starting again:
Seagull and I had basically gamed for 3 weeks straight. It was a little rough going out with one of my new wings I met through Seagull: I'll call him MMA. He's fun to go out with and supportive. I think my issue is that I found it hard to transition after having Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday off. Wednesday was basically off as well. We went out and had less than three sets and I probably gave up too easily with this 2-set that had a friend that wasn't very responsive. In retrospect, that she didn't seen to be enjoying the bar probably meant she had some other interests: intellectual, sports, museums, or whatever and I should have tried that angle.
I just felt tired and in a shit mood all day. I waited in the bar for MMA drinking a $3 pitcher. I probably should have just started walking around and opening like I used to do back in the day. I used to force myself to open solo before meeting up with wings so I'd be warmed up.
Quitting too soon:
If I were to describe my sticking points, I'd probably say that I give up too easily sometimes. What happens is the girls aren't really busting me out, but it's not really on either. I'm supposed to keep talking as I can lead it somewhere but I often have just been giving up. I'd also say that I still have problems with kino escalation though I show moments of brilliance. Finally, at twilight, quick pull time, I was doing things totally wrong. Seagull has gotten really good at this which was messing with my ego for awhile. The good news is that it's forced me to work on that aspect of my game. I realized that I was trying to work those sets in the exact way that Julien describes as the wrong way: I was doing debate game with the girl, trying to convince her to go to the taco place or after hours instead of just leading.
Get back in there:
I think the epitome of my big problem was this tall girl set. There were three really tall girls (one girl told MMA that she was 6'3") and one guy. They were dancing up in this one area and I went up and starting dancing by them and sort of with this tall blonde. I quickly gave up and this guy that was watching said, "What are you doing? Go back, she likes you."
I went back and ultimately screwed up, but that just sticks with me. I know I do that a lot. I keep thinking about my failures but there are a bunch of times that I'm not even giving myself a chance. As I'm typing, I can think of two other sets that responded positively and I just gave up. One was this 3-set that even engaged MMA and I again after we just stood there not talking. Another was this redhead whose friends wanted to move to a different part of the bar. When this usually happens, the girl either just walks away or gives the soft, usual blowout of "it was nice meeting you." This one said, "My friend wants to go somewhere else. I'm just following her." I told MMA at the time that the way she said it made me feel like she wanted me to follow but couldn't leave her friends. I knew that the move was to follow, and the girl MMA was talking to seemed to like him. I missed a chance to lead. I mentioned this, and when MMA didn't agree to follow, I just gave up.
Bigger problem of not believing in myself:
On the drive home, I realized that I needed to write about tonight because maybe this is the way that I can get past this sticking point. Why am I leaving early? I'm sure part of it is the old ego protection problem. I'd rather take a small success and have my ego feel slightly validated then actually continue and possibly get laid.
I think the big part is I'm forgetting RSD Derek's little line of wisdom. Basically, he says that if I can't figure out why the girl should be with me, (I think he even goes as far as saying, if I can't figure out why she should be with me over all the other guys in the club), then how the hell should she know?
Yeah, as I type that and I remember as I was driving back, I recognize this is exactly my problem. Sure, I had a few good moments that I didn't even type about. For example, this tall, hot girl that I opened on the street seemed to like me and wanted to hang out with me, but the friend massively cockblocked and MMA couldn't even faze her.
Those moments of confidence were there (again, there was also the dance floor bit), but I have to admit they were fleeting. Most of the time, I would just go in and thinking back, I know that I wasn't going in really believe that it was going to work. I didn't go in, thinking about my good qualities and thinking "Yeah, of course this girl would want to meet me, talk to me, and ultimately hook up with me."
No. I think I did the exact opposite. I would look for the slightly sign to confirm that my game sucks and that I suck.
Crazy AC stories:
There actually are some more interesting things to post about that I just didn't have the time to write about. Like last week, I stopped this Russian girl walking the opposite way in the hotel. With her barely understanding English, I got her to have pizza with me. With a little help from google translate, and Seagull distracting the friend, I made out with her in my room but she didn't want to have sex with me. Still was an interesting experience that warrants it's own post. The following night, I pushed hooker game farther that I probably thought possible. After pondering it overnight, I realized I could have gotten a little farther than I did. Basically, without paying, these two girls were letting me touch their tits and they both stroked my cock for like 5 seconds each. My friends that are willing to pay probably think I'm crazy for turning down the deal they were offering. They started at $300 each girl and by the time I was kicking them out, they were willing to go $100 for one girl, and I might have been able to talk that down even more. I just knew I wouldn't feel good about myself afterward so I passed.
Starting again:
Seagull and I had basically gamed for 3 weeks straight. It was a little rough going out with one of my new wings I met through Seagull: I'll call him MMA. He's fun to go out with and supportive. I think my issue is that I found it hard to transition after having Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday off. Wednesday was basically off as well. We went out and had less than three sets and I probably gave up too easily with this 2-set that had a friend that wasn't very responsive. In retrospect, that she didn't seen to be enjoying the bar probably meant she had some other interests: intellectual, sports, museums, or whatever and I should have tried that angle.
I just felt tired and in a shit mood all day. I waited in the bar for MMA drinking a $3 pitcher. I probably should have just started walking around and opening like I used to do back in the day. I used to force myself to open solo before meeting up with wings so I'd be warmed up.
Quitting too soon:
If I were to describe my sticking points, I'd probably say that I give up too easily sometimes. What happens is the girls aren't really busting me out, but it's not really on either. I'm supposed to keep talking as I can lead it somewhere but I often have just been giving up. I'd also say that I still have problems with kino escalation though I show moments of brilliance. Finally, at twilight, quick pull time, I was doing things totally wrong. Seagull has gotten really good at this which was messing with my ego for awhile. The good news is that it's forced me to work on that aspect of my game. I realized that I was trying to work those sets in the exact way that Julien describes as the wrong way: I was doing debate game with the girl, trying to convince her to go to the taco place or after hours instead of just leading.
Get back in there:
I think the epitome of my big problem was this tall girl set. There were three really tall girls (one girl told MMA that she was 6'3") and one guy. They were dancing up in this one area and I went up and starting dancing by them and sort of with this tall blonde. I quickly gave up and this guy that was watching said, "What are you doing? Go back, she likes you."
I went back and ultimately screwed up, but that just sticks with me. I know I do that a lot. I keep thinking about my failures but there are a bunch of times that I'm not even giving myself a chance. As I'm typing, I can think of two other sets that responded positively and I just gave up. One was this 3-set that even engaged MMA and I again after we just stood there not talking. Another was this redhead whose friends wanted to move to a different part of the bar. When this usually happens, the girl either just walks away or gives the soft, usual blowout of "it was nice meeting you." This one said, "My friend wants to go somewhere else. I'm just following her." I told MMA at the time that the way she said it made me feel like she wanted me to follow but couldn't leave her friends. I knew that the move was to follow, and the girl MMA was talking to seemed to like him. I missed a chance to lead. I mentioned this, and when MMA didn't agree to follow, I just gave up.
Bigger problem of not believing in myself:
On the drive home, I realized that I needed to write about tonight because maybe this is the way that I can get past this sticking point. Why am I leaving early? I'm sure part of it is the old ego protection problem. I'd rather take a small success and have my ego feel slightly validated then actually continue and possibly get laid.
I think the big part is I'm forgetting RSD Derek's little line of wisdom. Basically, he says that if I can't figure out why the girl should be with me, (I think he even goes as far as saying, if I can't figure out why she should be with me over all the other guys in the club), then how the hell should she know?
Yeah, as I type that and I remember as I was driving back, I recognize this is exactly my problem. Sure, I had a few good moments that I didn't even type about. For example, this tall, hot girl that I opened on the street seemed to like me and wanted to hang out with me, but the friend massively cockblocked and MMA couldn't even faze her.
Those moments of confidence were there (again, there was also the dance floor bit), but I have to admit they were fleeting. Most of the time, I would just go in and thinking back, I know that I wasn't going in really believe that it was going to work. I didn't go in, thinking about my good qualities and thinking "Yeah, of course this girl would want to meet me, talk to me, and ultimately hook up with me."
No. I think I did the exact opposite. I would look for the slightly sign to confirm that my game sucks and that I suck.
Monday, July 3, 2017
Old sticking points in a Cuban street set
As I've been immersed in getting my pickup game going again, I've been experiencing completely contrasting results. On the one hand, I've been getting some crazy results and experiences that would have been rare in the past. I think part of the reason is that other aspects of my life are in order now that weren't many times I was gaming a lot in the past. The obvious reason is that I'm so many years into this now that I just have a lot of things figured out from experience that I didn't in the past. Despite all that, I'm still surprised that I can still make newbie mistakes and still be fighting through persistent sticking points that have haunted me in my entire pickup journey.
Last week, I was happy to report that I blasted through the inner game issues that were holding me back from approaching as much as I should. That was a newbie problem that I'm glad to be rid of and I should be confident that I can blast through my current issue. While part of me likes to be hard on myself, realistically, I should remind myself that I've only been back in the game for a short time after a long (basically almost a 1.5 to 2 year period) where I was barely gaming. I can say that I only really got back into pickup (and this was while almost totally neglecting social life and having zero girls) May of last year. That was when this San Antonio opportunity presented itself that I was happy to have pursued but still regret failing badly even when it was so obvious I should have gotten laid.
I tried my best to game while I was immersed with work and I had some fun experiences, but the only really memorable result didn't happen until October. Then dabbled a bit in November and December before basically not gaming until Seagull returned in May.
Lessons from a failed long set:
I won't bother to chronicle the entire pickup in as much detail as I might have in the past because the main lessons are easy to pin point: I'm again having a hard time with kino escalation, and I was slightly troubled by a lack of inner belief.
Kino escalation has always been a sticking point for me that I get better at with work but it's always been a weak link. I know that it's because I was raised in a family setting where there wasn't much physicality in our relationships. The opposite is the stereotypical Italian family where it's normal for family members to show affection through a lot of hugging, etc. The other reason I struggled is I still worried about creeping the girls out or wrongly calibrating my escalation. While there have been a bunch of experiences where I did things right, the ones where I messed up still feature prominently in my head. I can remember a girl telling me "I don't like to be touched." Of course, that's going to happen, some women have issues and sometimes I'll screw up. I should focus more on the sets where it went well as a positive incentive; on the negative incentive, I should think about all the sets I screwed up (or day 2's or missed lays) due to not escalating enough.
I'll give myself credit that at least, after this layoff, I'm not so scared as I was in the past where I'd pass up completely obvious IOI's from a girl that she wanted to be kissed.
The inner belief issue is different that what I was struggling with up to last week. I was just in a negative internal mood. I kept thinking of how I fucked up taking time off from going out and I just couldn't feel the inner calm and confidence I needed to force myself to approach with confidence. I have fixed a lot of this as evidenced by my opening more, staying in sets longer, and more confidence openings. Where I'm not as confident is that I'll know I should move a girl but I'm afraid to screw it up, or give myself negative feedback, so I'll keep standing there even though I know I'm eventually going to screw up if I don't move things along. I also realized that I'm still massively lacking in belief when I'm so surprised at how much a girl can be into me.
I also realized at the end of the night that I'm not going out with a completely positive attitude of expecting success. The plan Saturday night was to pick up Seagull and then sarge afterward. His flight was originally scheduled to land at midnight, but instead it was delayed to 1:20am. I still planned on gaming but I after booking a Vegas trip last minute in the afternoon, I told myself that in that limited sarging time, I was just going to practice for the Vegas trip next week. I figured we'd just run a ton of street sets like last Saturday and I didn't even entertain the possibility of any real success.
Amazing street set:
We had done a few warm ups and up to this point, I hadn't really had an interaction longer than a few minutes. I was fine with it as I have learned to be fine with having to warm up to get in the right mind set. I saw this 3-set across the street: there was a really large girl, and two attractive women.
It's funny that I don't really remember what I said to open. I think I commented on how one girl was still smiling and look like she was ready to keep partying. AT this time it was almost 3am so most of the bars (they close at 3am on Saturday, and a few after hours places close at 5am) had let out and there were a bunch of sets in the sidewalks waiting for rideshares or trying to figure out what to do.
I just remember she gave me a very positive vibe. I found out they were tourists from Miami. They thought the bars were completely done and they were surprised when I pointed out that there were several bars that would be open until 5am. As I'm explaining this, I know that I should move them to one of the bars. Part of me didn't really want to go into the bars because I knew there would be a line and I didn't want to be put in a position where I might have buy drinks (dumb reasons). The other part is I suppose that old Tyler explanation of me practicing "state control." I felt good that I was getting a good response here and wanted to maintain that feeling (and preserve my ego) but just standing there even though I know the better move is to move things along (but that runs the risk of rejection). Fortunately for me, Seagull took the reins and moved the set to one of the after hours places.
The obvious mistake, again, is that I should have done this myself. I could have also used this as a way to initiate more kino by grabbing my girl's arm or hand and leading her towards the venue. Instead, I just walked next to her (and it was because I wasn't confident enough that she would be comfortable with my touch, but it reality should would have been, but I wasn't confident enough in myself). At least I knew enough to stay close to her and I was ready to put my arm around her as I knew the RSD bootcamp was around and a lot of guys were gaming in the area (I had run into them while doing my warm ups)>
I gotta hire this girl to follow me around and laugh at all my jokes:
That was an old Style line from the game. I actually used it because I couldn't believe how this girl kept laughing at everything I said. I such a great vibe going that stuff I didn't think was really that funny was getting an incredibly good reaction from her. Again, I think this points to an inner game issue. I should be shocked that a girl could be into me like this. The proper way to frame it is that I should be thinking, "Of course this girl is into me." I always focus on my flaws rather than playing up my strengths in my mind.
I can picture how I should have used all these positive emotion spikes to through in kino. I could see it while it was happening but I'm so out of practice that I couldn't calibrate my kino. Thinking back, it should have been natural for me to put my arm around her when she was giggling at all my jokes.
Massive connection but I don't kino:
Later, I'd sit next to her for like 15-20 minutes of conversation and not do much kino beyond light arm touching, which is stuff I should/can be doing within a minute or two of meeting a girl.
I feel so dumb typing this out. We were connecting on a lot of things; even little things like her liking cats, or what type of dog breeds she likes. She was an attractive Cuban girl that was in a fun mood and then I found out she's actually successful and smart. I found out she's in her last year of medical school. This is in complete contrast to a lot of the party girls I meet while sarging. This is the type of girl I'd expect to meet back in college.
To my credit, at least I decided to move her around the club at one point. Somehow I ended up having the large friend in tow instead of getting isolation. The third friend had wandered off with some guy that bought her a drink and put his arm around her within 2 minutes of entering the club. I realized after that I had forgotten how to isolate my girl from her friends. Seagull had been winging me by talking to the large girl. I should have told the large girl that I'd be right back and then I could have lead my girl around the club. (A side issue is that I had never been to this place so I didn't know the layout of the place. I had been under the impression that I was stuck in two lounge type areas as the dance floor upstairs seemed to require a stamp).
I got on the dance floor. Seagull and the large girl had followed but he didn't really want to dance with her. I wanted to dance with my girl. I remembered the old Ozzie video of how you have to dance with the friends as well so I spun my girl and the large girl. I danced in a sort of triangle for half a song before dancing with my girl.
I tried to escalate a bit but she seemed to back off a bit when I pulled her in so I didn't get as intimate as I would like. I also began to perspire a lot which happens when I exert myself. I'm fat now, which makes it worse, but even if I'm in awesome shape, I sweat a lot. I decided after a few songs to move the set back downstairs.
At this point, we ran into the other girl who was at a table with a guy. Our original seats and been taking. I wanted to get some fresh air so I lead the girl downstairs. I was going to hit the other bar area there but she seemed comfortable going outside. Later, I'd learn that the large one had said she wanted to leave.
Last efforts:
My girl wanted to stay out longer despite my lack of kino and failure to seed a pull. I suggested getting food and she responded that she likely do it, but when she suggested it to the large friend, the friend said she wanted to go back to the airbnb. I decided I should at least try to get her to stay with me. I told her we could watch the sunrise and get some food. She seemed to want to do it as she pondered a bit before giving me a reponse of, "I'd like to but I just met you." I knew I had to get some more comfort but I wasn't sure how to do so. I considered telling her that I'd give my card to her friends so they'd know who I was but I didn't try that.
Later, Seagull said that the blonde friend seemed willing to stay out. It makes sense especially considering some guy in the club had been pumping her state and now, as Tyler explains, her state is transferable to Seagull. We figured in our analysis afterward that one move we should have pushed was being cool and telling the large friend that she should hang out more, but we understood she was tired and she could go back. We'd simultaneously pump our girls state and try to get them to stay out with us and let the large one leave. We could pushed the idea of them being on vacation and it being better to keep having fun rather than just ending the night on their last night in the city.
Instead, the ride share eventually pulled up and they left.
Fix the escalation:
Kino is the key thing that's holding back my game. This screw up has gotten me to watch a bunch of videos so I can work on fixing this. I need to get my mind set that of course the girls want to experience my touch when I'm creating attraction by my presence and sharp (well, at times) verbal game. Rather than worry about getting rejected or making her uncomfortable, I should be thinking about how not touching her when there's a connection is not only weird, but a good way to either get in the friend zone or just have a set not go anywhere. I should trust that if I screw up, I'll notice I'm making her uncomfortable and I'll back off.
I'll close by saying it's weird that I have this sticking point when I've done a quick pull in Vegas. I guess the reason is that I'm out of practice with doing longer interactions. I didn't even write about how I had a Day 2 on Thursday with great conversation but super poor kino. It is different to try to quick pulls and SNL but if I'm comfortable doing that method of quick game, I should be comfortable lacing in some solid kino escalation in my longer sets.
Last week, I was happy to report that I blasted through the inner game issues that were holding me back from approaching as much as I should. That was a newbie problem that I'm glad to be rid of and I should be confident that I can blast through my current issue. While part of me likes to be hard on myself, realistically, I should remind myself that I've only been back in the game for a short time after a long (basically almost a 1.5 to 2 year period) where I was barely gaming. I can say that I only really got back into pickup (and this was while almost totally neglecting social life and having zero girls) May of last year. That was when this San Antonio opportunity presented itself that I was happy to have pursued but still regret failing badly even when it was so obvious I should have gotten laid.
I tried my best to game while I was immersed with work and I had some fun experiences, but the only really memorable result didn't happen until October. Then dabbled a bit in November and December before basically not gaming until Seagull returned in May.
Lessons from a failed long set:
I won't bother to chronicle the entire pickup in as much detail as I might have in the past because the main lessons are easy to pin point: I'm again having a hard time with kino escalation, and I was slightly troubled by a lack of inner belief.
Kino escalation has always been a sticking point for me that I get better at with work but it's always been a weak link. I know that it's because I was raised in a family setting where there wasn't much physicality in our relationships. The opposite is the stereotypical Italian family where it's normal for family members to show affection through a lot of hugging, etc. The other reason I struggled is I still worried about creeping the girls out or wrongly calibrating my escalation. While there have been a bunch of experiences where I did things right, the ones where I messed up still feature prominently in my head. I can remember a girl telling me "I don't like to be touched." Of course, that's going to happen, some women have issues and sometimes I'll screw up. I should focus more on the sets where it went well as a positive incentive; on the negative incentive, I should think about all the sets I screwed up (or day 2's or missed lays) due to not escalating enough.
I'll give myself credit that at least, after this layoff, I'm not so scared as I was in the past where I'd pass up completely obvious IOI's from a girl that she wanted to be kissed.
The inner belief issue is different that what I was struggling with up to last week. I was just in a negative internal mood. I kept thinking of how I fucked up taking time off from going out and I just couldn't feel the inner calm and confidence I needed to force myself to approach with confidence. I have fixed a lot of this as evidenced by my opening more, staying in sets longer, and more confidence openings. Where I'm not as confident is that I'll know I should move a girl but I'm afraid to screw it up, or give myself negative feedback, so I'll keep standing there even though I know I'm eventually going to screw up if I don't move things along. I also realized that I'm still massively lacking in belief when I'm so surprised at how much a girl can be into me.
I also realized at the end of the night that I'm not going out with a completely positive attitude of expecting success. The plan Saturday night was to pick up Seagull and then sarge afterward. His flight was originally scheduled to land at midnight, but instead it was delayed to 1:20am. I still planned on gaming but I after booking a Vegas trip last minute in the afternoon, I told myself that in that limited sarging time, I was just going to practice for the Vegas trip next week. I figured we'd just run a ton of street sets like last Saturday and I didn't even entertain the possibility of any real success.
Amazing street set:
We had done a few warm ups and up to this point, I hadn't really had an interaction longer than a few minutes. I was fine with it as I have learned to be fine with having to warm up to get in the right mind set. I saw this 3-set across the street: there was a really large girl, and two attractive women.
It's funny that I don't really remember what I said to open. I think I commented on how one girl was still smiling and look like she was ready to keep partying. AT this time it was almost 3am so most of the bars (they close at 3am on Saturday, and a few after hours places close at 5am) had let out and there were a bunch of sets in the sidewalks waiting for rideshares or trying to figure out what to do.
I just remember she gave me a very positive vibe. I found out they were tourists from Miami. They thought the bars were completely done and they were surprised when I pointed out that there were several bars that would be open until 5am. As I'm explaining this, I know that I should move them to one of the bars. Part of me didn't really want to go into the bars because I knew there would be a line and I didn't want to be put in a position where I might have buy drinks (dumb reasons). The other part is I suppose that old Tyler explanation of me practicing "state control." I felt good that I was getting a good response here and wanted to maintain that feeling (and preserve my ego) but just standing there even though I know the better move is to move things along (but that runs the risk of rejection). Fortunately for me, Seagull took the reins and moved the set to one of the after hours places.
The obvious mistake, again, is that I should have done this myself. I could have also used this as a way to initiate more kino by grabbing my girl's arm or hand and leading her towards the venue. Instead, I just walked next to her (and it was because I wasn't confident enough that she would be comfortable with my touch, but it reality should would have been, but I wasn't confident enough in myself). At least I knew enough to stay close to her and I was ready to put my arm around her as I knew the RSD bootcamp was around and a lot of guys were gaming in the area (I had run into them while doing my warm ups)>
I gotta hire this girl to follow me around and laugh at all my jokes:
That was an old Style line from the game. I actually used it because I couldn't believe how this girl kept laughing at everything I said. I such a great vibe going that stuff I didn't think was really that funny was getting an incredibly good reaction from her. Again, I think this points to an inner game issue. I should be shocked that a girl could be into me like this. The proper way to frame it is that I should be thinking, "Of course this girl is into me." I always focus on my flaws rather than playing up my strengths in my mind.
I can picture how I should have used all these positive emotion spikes to through in kino. I could see it while it was happening but I'm so out of practice that I couldn't calibrate my kino. Thinking back, it should have been natural for me to put my arm around her when she was giggling at all my jokes.
Massive connection but I don't kino:
Later, I'd sit next to her for like 15-20 minutes of conversation and not do much kino beyond light arm touching, which is stuff I should/can be doing within a minute or two of meeting a girl.
I feel so dumb typing this out. We were connecting on a lot of things; even little things like her liking cats, or what type of dog breeds she likes. She was an attractive Cuban girl that was in a fun mood and then I found out she's actually successful and smart. I found out she's in her last year of medical school. This is in complete contrast to a lot of the party girls I meet while sarging. This is the type of girl I'd expect to meet back in college.
To my credit, at least I decided to move her around the club at one point. Somehow I ended up having the large friend in tow instead of getting isolation. The third friend had wandered off with some guy that bought her a drink and put his arm around her within 2 minutes of entering the club. I realized after that I had forgotten how to isolate my girl from her friends. Seagull had been winging me by talking to the large girl. I should have told the large girl that I'd be right back and then I could have lead my girl around the club. (A side issue is that I had never been to this place so I didn't know the layout of the place. I had been under the impression that I was stuck in two lounge type areas as the dance floor upstairs seemed to require a stamp).
I got on the dance floor. Seagull and the large girl had followed but he didn't really want to dance with her. I wanted to dance with my girl. I remembered the old Ozzie video of how you have to dance with the friends as well so I spun my girl and the large girl. I danced in a sort of triangle for half a song before dancing with my girl.
I tried to escalate a bit but she seemed to back off a bit when I pulled her in so I didn't get as intimate as I would like. I also began to perspire a lot which happens when I exert myself. I'm fat now, which makes it worse, but even if I'm in awesome shape, I sweat a lot. I decided after a few songs to move the set back downstairs.
At this point, we ran into the other girl who was at a table with a guy. Our original seats and been taking. I wanted to get some fresh air so I lead the girl downstairs. I was going to hit the other bar area there but she seemed comfortable going outside. Later, I'd learn that the large one had said she wanted to leave.
Last efforts:
My girl wanted to stay out longer despite my lack of kino and failure to seed a pull. I suggested getting food and she responded that she likely do it, but when she suggested it to the large friend, the friend said she wanted to go back to the airbnb. I decided I should at least try to get her to stay with me. I told her we could watch the sunrise and get some food. She seemed to want to do it as she pondered a bit before giving me a reponse of, "I'd like to but I just met you." I knew I had to get some more comfort but I wasn't sure how to do so. I considered telling her that I'd give my card to her friends so they'd know who I was but I didn't try that.
Later, Seagull said that the blonde friend seemed willing to stay out. It makes sense especially considering some guy in the club had been pumping her state and now, as Tyler explains, her state is transferable to Seagull. We figured in our analysis afterward that one move we should have pushed was being cool and telling the large friend that she should hang out more, but we understood she was tired and she could go back. We'd simultaneously pump our girls state and try to get them to stay out with us and let the large one leave. We could pushed the idea of them being on vacation and it being better to keep having fun rather than just ending the night on their last night in the city.
Instead, the ride share eventually pulled up and they left.
Fix the escalation:
Kino is the key thing that's holding back my game. This screw up has gotten me to watch a bunch of videos so I can work on fixing this. I need to get my mind set that of course the girls want to experience my touch when I'm creating attraction by my presence and sharp (well, at times) verbal game. Rather than worry about getting rejected or making her uncomfortable, I should be thinking about how not touching her when there's a connection is not only weird, but a good way to either get in the friend zone or just have a set not go anywhere. I should trust that if I screw up, I'll notice I'm making her uncomfortable and I'll back off.
I'll close by saying it's weird that I have this sticking point when I've done a quick pull in Vegas. I guess the reason is that I'm out of practice with doing longer interactions. I didn't even write about how I had a Day 2 on Thursday with great conversation but super poor kino. It is different to try to quick pulls and SNL but if I'm comfortable doing that method of quick game, I should be comfortable lacing in some solid kino escalation in my longer sets.
Sunday, June 25, 2017
Fuck you beta male
Below, I've linked a Tyler video that has helped me a lot the past two days. It shows in field footage of him warming up and ultimely getting some crazy results at the end of the night. This is basic stuff but somehow I had forgotten this lesson of warming up through quick successive sets and plowing through the rejection to get into the right state. I think I somehow had felt I should be beyond this which is dumb considering this really is what Tyler does to get himself into the right mindset after a full work week.
https://youtu.be/shO5ivs_klY?t=8m57s
The clip right after the time frame linked shows Tyler being told "Fuck you" by a girl. He explains that the girl literally did say "Fuck you" to him, and what she means is "Fuck you, beta male, you will not reproduce. Get back in your hole!"
I'm so fortunate that I saw this video on Thursday. Friday and Saturday I finally got myself to start opening like I used to back in 2012. I might write more about how I got myself to do that in a field report on Friday. I'd also add that I'm fortunate that I saw this exact clip of Tyler being told "Fuck you" because this verbatim happened to me Saturday night.
It's a pretty rough rejection but thanks to the clip I didn't feel as bad as I would have had I not see Tyler, one of the best, get a rejection like that when he was warming up. I understand that I deserved to get a harsh rejection because I did a half ass approach and wasted her time acting like a beta male.
Initially, the words stung for a bit but then I used this to force myself to do better. As I'll explain shortly, I was later able to finish the night on two high notes due to this harsh rejection. Strangely, I've been getting a ton of amusement after the fact. I think it's my ADD or manic part of my brain that likes repeating phrases. I keep giggling, even as I type this, about how I approached so badly that this girl told me "Fuck you." I keep repeating Tyler's words above about being a beta male and getting back in my hole. I even said in two later rejections, "Wow. You're telling me, 'Fuck you beta male! You will not reproduce. Get back in your hole!"
Street approaches and Improving my game:
Saturday night, Seagull and I spent 90% of our night working street sets. We met up briefly with a new wing that Seagull met a few months ago who I will hereby dub "IsleRep" until I learn what screen name he might want to be referred to as in this blog. IsleRep didn't like street game that much and kept trying to get us to go into the venues. We went into one place with no line and ran out of sets right away and almost every other place had super long lines. That was one reason we stayed on the street. I'd also agree with Seagull in that it was especially enjoyable since it's a complete contrast to the winter time when we don't want to do much street game and there aren't as many sets to open. He also added that opening like this reminded him of what were doing most in Vegas.
I would add that I think street game is a good drill to improve my game. I later said that if we went out Friday and Saturday, I don't think it would be ideal to do street game entirely both nights but I think it's great for improving our game. Where we were doing street game, it was almost unlimited sets for a good 2-3 hours period. I felt like the experience got me used to being an opening machine and it got me so used to getting rejecting and not letting it bother me. My state fluctuated a lot but I was able to pull myself out of it and press on.
Street game also is great at the end of the night because it is a great way to pull. There are a ton of lone wolf sets where there is potential for quick pulls but that wasn't to be my destiny this evening.
Now, Vegas would definitely be a lot easier. When I was in Vegas, though, I wasn't opening like this. If I pushed myself to open all day and night like I did this past few days, I'd probably get more lays that I could handle. More drills like this will hopefully get me to be able to maintain this momentum for the next time I'm in Vegas.
Two good sets to end the night:
I wrote that there were some a harsh rejections that caused me to doubt myself. I did push through the state crash and kept trying to open more and do better. I did have a few positive reactions. Some were from average girls, and a few were from some really hot girls that I likely would have been too intimidated to open prior to Friday.
One of the last sets of the night were these two blondes we say wandering around by Rock and Roll Mcdonald's. One was in a bitchy mood and the friend said she wasn't enjoying Chicago. She said she was visiting from Tel Aviv, but she must have been born in the states because she had an American accent. Unfortunately, she didn't have the sexy Gal Gadot accent.
Rather than respond to her negative frame that the friend was even apologizing for, I just plowed through with some positive energy monologues and I pulled her into my frame. Seagull let the friend wander off which ended up ending the set when she got far enough away that this Israeli girl felt she had to leave me and follow the friend. I was just impressed by how I got her to stop bitching and she was intrigued enough to listen to me and stay with me.
As I'm tying this, I recognized that I probably could have given it and last ditch effort of walking with her to the friend and trying to reengage them both . Seagull had a flight to catch so we really were on our way to the car so it's not like I actually could have tried to plow this interaction into some sort of pull.
Hey Polish:
The last set of the night left me in a super positive frame. We walked by one of the club sidewalks that we used to frequent years ago. One of the clubs had a ton of Asians hanging around. I joked that it was good that we don't come to this venue any more. (For those that don't know, I'm of Asian decent but I'm more attracted to white girls: it's to the point were it's very rare that I want to open an Asian girl). We were about to leave when I saw this tall blonde standing on this ledge on the venue's exterior wall. She was taller than me, and she really towered over me by being on this ledge that was at least 4 inches off the group.
I hesitated for ab out 15 seconds before opening. I remember thinking, "Wow she's hot. She's totally my type. I need to open that." Of course, part of me didn't want to for evolutionary reasons including fearing rejection, but I told myself that I needed to do this. I knew I'd regret not opening more than any possible rejection I could get (and it would be hard to do worse that the "Fuck you" I got from that girl earlier). I've been telling myself that I want to hook up with another tall girl like that hottie I pulled in Vegas in October. The only way to really increase my chances is to try to open almost every tall girl I see no matter how intimidated I may feel.
I made myself do the approach. Something clicked in my head. I knew she was really hot so I knew I couldn't do the weak approaches I did most of the night. Ironically, I had said to Seagull at one point, "I know I'm being a beta male with my approaches as Tyler said, but I can't figure out how to do a proper alpha approach will full confidence and belief in myself." I must have force myself to dig out my old memories of doing a proper approach as I did do it here.
I remember watching a video a few years ago where Tyler opened a girl by saying, "Hey Polish!" I didn't even if this girl actually was Polish, but she at least had the blonde hair and skin tone that a lot of Polish girls have that I find really attractive. She turned out have an American accent so she was born here but maybe she was of Polish decent. It's irrelevant anyway.
I approached her. I came at the correct angle. Not dead on, but also not doing a weak approach from behind. (On a side note, a Jlaix video helped me to stop doing weak approaches from behind where the girl can't see me coming or can't even be sure I'm actually talking to her. When I was doing that, I knew it was a bad approach and I think that's why I'd do it. It was a form of ego protection that manifests itself as me doing bad approaches so I could blame the rejection on that instead of actually putting my true self on the line). This time, I locked eye contact with her as I said, "Hey Polish." I did feel calm and centered and rather that use of my usual openers, I went with one I've seen Tyler use but haven't used much (and I don't recall ever using this line successfully). I just said, "So, who are you?"
I remember that she smiled and told me her name. I think she might have asked me my name. It was one of the best reactions I had tonight. It's amazing how sometimes it is the hottest girls that give me the best reactions and approach anxiety often makes us all avoid these sets we find really attractive. The girl that told me "Fuck you" wasn't even really my type and here I had a girl totally my type liking me. Of course, I also accept that I opened with different levels of confidence and that's a big part of why I got certain reactions. I want to reinforce the thought that I can get great reactions from those women I find super attractive and I need to make myself approach them as much as I can.
I remember transitioning to asking how her night was going. She said she was having a bad night. I actually liked that response because I honestly felt like I could improve her night and I wanted to believe it meant she was more likely to be agreeable to a possible pull if I could do thing right. Unfortunately, her phone rang right after this. She answered it pissed off saying, "What?" I bet it was some guy, probably a boyfriend bothering her. I wasn't just going to stand there, so I made my usual wisecrack, "Hey, tell him he screwed up! Tell him you found another guy... me."
I ended up leaving because I didn't see how I was going to make this set happen and we had to start heading to the airport. Seagull and I figured later that I could tried to initiate some light kino to see if she was comfortable with that while she was on the phone to test if I should persist through this phone call.
In any case, it was a good way to end the night. I found that perfect approach and hopefully I can make more approaches in this manner in the future.
Guys pumping their state off me:
I just wanted to close by reflecting on this other incident that pushed me to do a proper opening. These three guys were standing on the sidewalk. Seagull opened a girl and got quick rejected. These guys laughed at him. Guys not approaching like to do that to pump their state and stroke their egos. They like talking shit about us guys taking action to make themselves feel better about not doing anything. The had seen that I was with him and one of they quipped, "Heh, look at his friend [it sounded like he was suggesting that it was funny enough to see Seagull, but I was an example of someone more pathetic trying to game girls]."
I heard that and I told myself, "Okay you fucking guys. Laugh it up. You wanna pump your ego by laughing about how you think you're better than me? Fuck you! Watch as this chump do a solid open. How are you gonna feel now that some loser you laughed at opens hot girls while you stand around unable to do shit?!"
Right next to them was this cute tall girl that I found attracted. As I approached her, I felt my state pump. Now some of what I typed might not be the best way to frame things, but that type of stuff has always poked my ego in a way that leads me to take action in a positive way. I opened her more confident that I had been in most of my openers this evening, and of course, she reacted positively to it.
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Sharing a girl with my wing: "You know I came in her mouth?"
This past Las Vegas trip really opened my mind to what is possible there. I had always believed that girls free themselves from society's shaming there and that girls really do want sex as much as us guys do, this trip finally made me experience up close how true all these things really are. It also has broken me out of an inner game rut that I've been in for awhile, and which I've written about happening the past few times I went out (including when I kissed that 21 year old two Saturdays ago).
Spur of the moment trip:
I liked talking about how I literally booked my Vegas flight less than 5 hours before take off. Seagull had learned that he suddenly had the week off. We talked about taking a trip but it looked like nothing was going to happen. Suddenly, early Monday morning, a bunch of flights opened up. The hotels were cheap for us so we decided around 3pm last Monday to go to Vegas.
Seagull pulled a girl each night that we were there together:
Just seeing this in person opened my mind to what is possible. It's one thing to hear about others doing it or hearing stories from Nintendo or others. Those people started at a higher level than Seagull and I did. Seeing Seagull do this made me realize that I'm not that far from this level and it's just been my inner game issues holding me back. I know how bad Seagull's game was when he started because I was going out with him back then. To see him pull girls each night we were there was simply amazing.
The girl we shared:
This is a wild Las Vegas story that I don't really like to tell to people in my life other than close friends or wings. A lot of these stories probably sound unbelievable to people who know me casually and haven't seen me out gaming. For example, I texted one of my poker buddies about how Seagull pulled a new girl each night we were there, and his response was "how much did he pay?" That was because to most guys who aren't good at game, it would seem like fantasy to be able to do this. This story is similarly fantastic.
As I think back that night, I remember being in my hotel room with this girl. Prior to this, I really thought there was a good chance I wasn't going to get any results this trip and in my mind, that would have been a waste of this trip. The whole point of going on this trip with Seagull was to really game Vegas as we had always dreamed about doing. I didn't want to play cards, which was an option, or just run half ass game for no results like I have been doing the past few weeks. Suddenly, here I was with a decent looking newly minted 21 year old (she had said she turned 21 in December) in my bed. I was fingering her and she was moaning in enjoyment when suddenly Seagull opened the door.
Now, the title of this story makes it seem like suddenly with did a 3 way, but alas this story isn't some crazy MMF porno story. His part in this story would come a little later. Once I realized he had opened the door, I just said, "Can you please come back later?" I had neglected to text him that I was pulling to the room and this was the result. It didn't really matter and Seagull commented to me later that seeing this girls titties when he opened the door was motivating.
I have a problem:
I guess another reason not to tell this story to people is that it's embarrassing on my part but I don't really care that much. I told Seagull at one point, "I keep thinking about how the Mikey character in 'Swingers' said, 'I didn't even want it [the scotch on the waitress' tray], I just wanted to order it."
What it meant for me here was that I just wanted to get the validation of being to get the girl to the room and I didn't even care that I actually did get to fuck her.
I really was just happy fingering her on my bed. She wanted to fuck though, and I tried putting the condom on. I put it in for literally like one second and then I couldn't keep it up. I think it was a variety of factors. First, I did drink too much. I'm not sure if that's the issue. The previous night, I had drunk more and when I didn't pull I was able to get hard and beat off and I also did that the next night. I'm sure it would have been easier had I been sober though (but it my self conscious state I had been in, I might not have had the confidence to make this happen). The second issue is the condom and possibly a lack of lube issue. Obviously, it's so much easier to have sex with no condom but I wasn't about to do that here despite my willingness last October to do so. The third issue is some psychological issue. Despite my desire for same night lays, maybe I do have an easier time if I actually connect with a girl and spend some time with her. Another issue in my head is that I think I want to get the girl off more than I'm concerned about getting myself off and I don't relax enough . Even when I don't have wood problems, I often have a hard time finishing with girls I just met or when I'm having sex with a partner for the first time.
She got pissed because she didn't get the validation she sought:
The second time I couldn't get it up, she started to get dressed. When I tried to touch her, she told me "Don't touch me, I'm turned off now." You'd think that I would have been hurt by what happened but I really wasn't that upset. I only regret that I wasn't able to give her a better time. Strangely, I wasn't that hard on myself for what happened. She asked me again in the elevator what the problem was and I told her that it was the condom. She scoffed, "Safe sex make it hard for you?" or something to that extend. I knew that she just was upset that the situation took away any validation she was getting from this as she felt inside that it was because I wasn't that attracted to her.
She wasn't that bad. She was 5'9" and Seagull said she had a pretty face. She turned around at one point in my room and was telling me she wanted me to fuck her from behind. Now, I've been with girls way larger than her. Her ass was small enough that I wasn't turned off looking at her ass in that position. I would have enjoyed having intercourse with her but it just wasn't possible that night.
Do you want to get laid?
The story doesn't end here. Seagull text me that I should come back out. I decided I might as well as there was a small chance I could pull again. I felt good having gotten this girl to my room and all my neediness I might have felt was gone now. I went to CVS to get my Diet Arizona Iced Teas. As Seagull and I were walking out, I suddenly saw her walking by. I turned to Seagull and said, "Shit, I don't want her to see me."
Then, I told him, "You want to get laid? You should go open her. She'll hook up with you. She wanted dick and unfortunately, she couldn't get what she wanted from me."
It was obvious why she was still out. Seagull was hesitant at first, but then he went along with it. I wanted him to do it because it would make a cool story for this to play out.
He text me in a few minutes that he was pulling. During that time, I had opened up some Latina girl who turned out to be a hooker. She tried to get me to hire her but of course there was no way I was paying for sex. I don't do that now because I feel worse because it makes me feel like I'm taking the easy way out, and I definitely wasn't going to do it when I just pulled a girl to my room.
Seagull told me later that they couldn't use her room because her friend and her mom were there (I had heard about the friend when I was with her). He said he was bringing her back to our room. I cautioned that she might recognize the room. I suggested he take the back elevator to the room. He did that and later he said that when they got there he told her, "Wait here a minute, the rooms a mess." He then rearranged our luggage and made my bed so the room looked different.
He bang her once. She wanted him to go again but like his previous night pull, he said he wasn't that into the girl, so he just let her leave.
"I came in her mouth" and other amusing bits:
I kept getting a good laugh out of our having shared this girl for the next day. First, it was cool to be able to compare notes about what the girl said or how she wanted things. The other thing was I enjoyed messing with Seagull. I remember saying, "Hey, you made out with her right?" He replied that of course he did, and I joked, "You know that she gave me a blow job and I came in her mouth, right?"
He got a bit disgusted and asked, "Are you serious or not? I know she didn't brush her teeth in between us."
I told him I was just joking, but I brought it up several more times in the next 24 hours.
The other thing that amuses me now is that as weird or crazy as this whole thing is, I know that I improved the girl's night by sending Seagull to hook up with her. I felt bad that she wasn't satisfied \with me. Again, I don't feel bad in that I feel inadequate as I know if the girl was hotter or if she had been more hands on with stroking me or blowing me, I probably could have gotten hard. I felt bad in that Seagull said she was upset when he opened her. Again, it really did hurt her that she felt she was the reason I couldn't get hard (which unfortunately was partially the truth). By opening her, at least she got some proper dick.
Quick field report:
As I was about to post this, I guess I never explained how I got her up to my room. This is another quick Vegas pull like that hottie I pulled back in October, but even quicker. It's just another example of how girls buy into the Vegas commercial motto "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." The girls really do let themselves be carefree and are way more opening into hooking up here that anywhere else. Sure, you can get quick pulls at home: sometimes the girl is just ovulating, and/or she just broke up with her boyfriend and wants to hook up. In Vegas, this attitude is way more prevalent to the point I might always be willing to say it's more the norm than not.
I was having a shitty trip, suffering from not being sure about myself and thinking about how badly I had regressed from my peak level of game in October, when I pulled that hot tall girl in front of Omnia. Seagull had opened this two set in front of the Paris hotel, and I saw this brunette with a large nose piercing walking towards me. I stopped her and immediately I could tell she was super high buying temperature.
I just remember telling her about the $1 drinks at Casino Royale. I kept using this same spiel about how it's a remnant of the old school Vegas casino and not the new mega resort atmosphere. I told her we were going there to get some beers.
As we were walking, her tit was popping out of her dress. At one point, some girl told her, "Hey, your tit is hanging out." She just smiled at this. I had my arm around her and she would move my hand so it was on her breast. Later, when I had my arm around her waist, she'd move my hand so it was on her ass.
We walked through Flamingo and I remember stopping by a palm tree in the Margaritaville part of the casino. I wanted to keep her buying temperature up so I made out with her. I also wanted to have a memory at that location future trips. I made out with her and grabbed her ass and even touch her pussy (no resistance). Obviously, I knew I was going to be able to get her to my room at this point.
Should I save $10?:
After the Flamingo make out, I knew I just needed to get her to my room. She said she wanted to bring some drinks up to the room when I mentioned the room. I knew there was a liquor store in the Linq, but I knew it was more expensive to buy it there than to go to the Walgreen's by Casino Royale. When we were inside the Linq, I debated in my head and finally I decided, "Okay, I just gotta spend the money here. I'm almost certainly going to get her to my room and hook up and it would be dumb to waste 15-20 minutes walking to Walgreens and possibly screwing this up. She could lose buying temperature in the walk there, or her feet could hurt, or she could run into a friend."
I bought a bottle of Absolut Vodka for $35 and we went up to the room. I gave my usual comfort lines even though I knew she was totally down for hooking up. I said that just because we were going up to my room doesn't mean that anything has to happen. I said I just want her to be comfortable and I'm cool if nothing happens. These aren't even lines because I actually believe this when I say it and it actually does make girls more comfortable when I say this (which of course makes them more likely to want to hook up).
She had just wanted the drink as a reason to go up to the room. She had less than a shot of the vodka before we were making out on the bed and I was helping her out of the dress.
It's funny that as I type this, I'm getting hard thinking about it. I now wish I could have fucked her for real instead of just fingering her and being inside for 1 second, but I'm now confident that my next pull won't be that far in the future.
Spur of the moment trip:
I liked talking about how I literally booked my Vegas flight less than 5 hours before take off. Seagull had learned that he suddenly had the week off. We talked about taking a trip but it looked like nothing was going to happen. Suddenly, early Monday morning, a bunch of flights opened up. The hotels were cheap for us so we decided around 3pm last Monday to go to Vegas.
Seagull pulled a girl each night that we were there together:
Just seeing this in person opened my mind to what is possible. It's one thing to hear about others doing it or hearing stories from Nintendo or others. Those people started at a higher level than Seagull and I did. Seeing Seagull do this made me realize that I'm not that far from this level and it's just been my inner game issues holding me back. I know how bad Seagull's game was when he started because I was going out with him back then. To see him pull girls each night we were there was simply amazing.
The girl we shared:
This is a wild Las Vegas story that I don't really like to tell to people in my life other than close friends or wings. A lot of these stories probably sound unbelievable to people who know me casually and haven't seen me out gaming. For example, I texted one of my poker buddies about how Seagull pulled a new girl each night we were there, and his response was "how much did he pay?" That was because to most guys who aren't good at game, it would seem like fantasy to be able to do this. This story is similarly fantastic.
As I think back that night, I remember being in my hotel room with this girl. Prior to this, I really thought there was a good chance I wasn't going to get any results this trip and in my mind, that would have been a waste of this trip. The whole point of going on this trip with Seagull was to really game Vegas as we had always dreamed about doing. I didn't want to play cards, which was an option, or just run half ass game for no results like I have been doing the past few weeks. Suddenly, here I was with a decent looking newly minted 21 year old (she had said she turned 21 in December) in my bed. I was fingering her and she was moaning in enjoyment when suddenly Seagull opened the door.
Now, the title of this story makes it seem like suddenly with did a 3 way, but alas this story isn't some crazy MMF porno story. His part in this story would come a little later. Once I realized he had opened the door, I just said, "Can you please come back later?" I had neglected to text him that I was pulling to the room and this was the result. It didn't really matter and Seagull commented to me later that seeing this girls titties when he opened the door was motivating.
I have a problem:
I guess another reason not to tell this story to people is that it's embarrassing on my part but I don't really care that much. I told Seagull at one point, "I keep thinking about how the Mikey character in 'Swingers' said, 'I didn't even want it [the scotch on the waitress' tray], I just wanted to order it."
What it meant for me here was that I just wanted to get the validation of being to get the girl to the room and I didn't even care that I actually did get to fuck her.
I really was just happy fingering her on my bed. She wanted to fuck though, and I tried putting the condom on. I put it in for literally like one second and then I couldn't keep it up. I think it was a variety of factors. First, I did drink too much. I'm not sure if that's the issue. The previous night, I had drunk more and when I didn't pull I was able to get hard and beat off and I also did that the next night. I'm sure it would have been easier had I been sober though (but it my self conscious state I had been in, I might not have had the confidence to make this happen). The second issue is the condom and possibly a lack of lube issue. Obviously, it's so much easier to have sex with no condom but I wasn't about to do that here despite my willingness last October to do so. The third issue is some psychological issue. Despite my desire for same night lays, maybe I do have an easier time if I actually connect with a girl and spend some time with her. Another issue in my head is that I think I want to get the girl off more than I'm concerned about getting myself off and I don't relax enough . Even when I don't have wood problems, I often have a hard time finishing with girls I just met or when I'm having sex with a partner for the first time.
She got pissed because she didn't get the validation she sought:
The second time I couldn't get it up, she started to get dressed. When I tried to touch her, she told me "Don't touch me, I'm turned off now." You'd think that I would have been hurt by what happened but I really wasn't that upset. I only regret that I wasn't able to give her a better time. Strangely, I wasn't that hard on myself for what happened. She asked me again in the elevator what the problem was and I told her that it was the condom. She scoffed, "Safe sex make it hard for you?" or something to that extend. I knew that she just was upset that the situation took away any validation she was getting from this as she felt inside that it was because I wasn't that attracted to her.
She wasn't that bad. She was 5'9" and Seagull said she had a pretty face. She turned around at one point in my room and was telling me she wanted me to fuck her from behind. Now, I've been with girls way larger than her. Her ass was small enough that I wasn't turned off looking at her ass in that position. I would have enjoyed having intercourse with her but it just wasn't possible that night.
Do you want to get laid?
The story doesn't end here. Seagull text me that I should come back out. I decided I might as well as there was a small chance I could pull again. I felt good having gotten this girl to my room and all my neediness I might have felt was gone now. I went to CVS to get my Diet Arizona Iced Teas. As Seagull and I were walking out, I suddenly saw her walking by. I turned to Seagull and said, "Shit, I don't want her to see me."
Then, I told him, "You want to get laid? You should go open her. She'll hook up with you. She wanted dick and unfortunately, she couldn't get what she wanted from me."
It was obvious why she was still out. Seagull was hesitant at first, but then he went along with it. I wanted him to do it because it would make a cool story for this to play out.
He text me in a few minutes that he was pulling. During that time, I had opened up some Latina girl who turned out to be a hooker. She tried to get me to hire her but of course there was no way I was paying for sex. I don't do that now because I feel worse because it makes me feel like I'm taking the easy way out, and I definitely wasn't going to do it when I just pulled a girl to my room.
Seagull told me later that they couldn't use her room because her friend and her mom were there (I had heard about the friend when I was with her). He said he was bringing her back to our room. I cautioned that she might recognize the room. I suggested he take the back elevator to the room. He did that and later he said that when they got there he told her, "Wait here a minute, the rooms a mess." He then rearranged our luggage and made my bed so the room looked different.
He bang her once. She wanted him to go again but like his previous night pull, he said he wasn't that into the girl, so he just let her leave.
"I came in her mouth" and other amusing bits:
I kept getting a good laugh out of our having shared this girl for the next day. First, it was cool to be able to compare notes about what the girl said or how she wanted things. The other thing was I enjoyed messing with Seagull. I remember saying, "Hey, you made out with her right?" He replied that of course he did, and I joked, "You know that she gave me a blow job and I came in her mouth, right?"
He got a bit disgusted and asked, "Are you serious or not? I know she didn't brush her teeth in between us."
I told him I was just joking, but I brought it up several more times in the next 24 hours.
The other thing that amuses me now is that as weird or crazy as this whole thing is, I know that I improved the girl's night by sending Seagull to hook up with her. I felt bad that she wasn't satisfied \with me. Again, I don't feel bad in that I feel inadequate as I know if the girl was hotter or if she had been more hands on with stroking me or blowing me, I probably could have gotten hard. I felt bad in that Seagull said she was upset when he opened her. Again, it really did hurt her that she felt she was the reason I couldn't get hard (which unfortunately was partially the truth). By opening her, at least she got some proper dick.
Quick field report:
As I was about to post this, I guess I never explained how I got her up to my room. This is another quick Vegas pull like that hottie I pulled back in October, but even quicker. It's just another example of how girls buy into the Vegas commercial motto "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." The girls really do let themselves be carefree and are way more opening into hooking up here that anywhere else. Sure, you can get quick pulls at home: sometimes the girl is just ovulating, and/or she just broke up with her boyfriend and wants to hook up. In Vegas, this attitude is way more prevalent to the point I might always be willing to say it's more the norm than not.
I was having a shitty trip, suffering from not being sure about myself and thinking about how badly I had regressed from my peak level of game in October, when I pulled that hot tall girl in front of Omnia. Seagull had opened this two set in front of the Paris hotel, and I saw this brunette with a large nose piercing walking towards me. I stopped her and immediately I could tell she was super high buying temperature.
I just remember telling her about the $1 drinks at Casino Royale. I kept using this same spiel about how it's a remnant of the old school Vegas casino and not the new mega resort atmosphere. I told her we were going there to get some beers.
As we were walking, her tit was popping out of her dress. At one point, some girl told her, "Hey, your tit is hanging out." She just smiled at this. I had my arm around her and she would move my hand so it was on her breast. Later, when I had my arm around her waist, she'd move my hand so it was on her ass.
We walked through Flamingo and I remember stopping by a palm tree in the Margaritaville part of the casino. I wanted to keep her buying temperature up so I made out with her. I also wanted to have a memory at that location future trips. I made out with her and grabbed her ass and even touch her pussy (no resistance). Obviously, I knew I was going to be able to get her to my room at this point.
Should I save $10?:
After the Flamingo make out, I knew I just needed to get her to my room. She said she wanted to bring some drinks up to the room when I mentioned the room. I knew there was a liquor store in the Linq, but I knew it was more expensive to buy it there than to go to the Walgreen's by Casino Royale. When we were inside the Linq, I debated in my head and finally I decided, "Okay, I just gotta spend the money here. I'm almost certainly going to get her to my room and hook up and it would be dumb to waste 15-20 minutes walking to Walgreens and possibly screwing this up. She could lose buying temperature in the walk there, or her feet could hurt, or she could run into a friend."
I bought a bottle of Absolut Vodka for $35 and we went up to the room. I gave my usual comfort lines even though I knew she was totally down for hooking up. I said that just because we were going up to my room doesn't mean that anything has to happen. I said I just want her to be comfortable and I'm cool if nothing happens. These aren't even lines because I actually believe this when I say it and it actually does make girls more comfortable when I say this (which of course makes them more likely to want to hook up).
She had just wanted the drink as a reason to go up to the room. She had less than a shot of the vodka before we were making out on the bed and I was helping her out of the dress.
It's funny that as I type this, I'm getting hard thinking about it. I now wish I could have fucked her for real instead of just fingering her and being inside for 1 second, but I'm now confident that my next pull won't be that far in the future.
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